Sabotage, PWG’s Only Kings Understand Each Other, Kellyanne Conway getting blacklisted from TV shows, clickbait review intros, false advertising, and more will not be talked about in this review. YEE!
— FITE (@FiteTV) February 13, 2017
Show starts with the outdated intro. No bullshit promos. We go straight to the action.
PP3 Cup Quarter Final Match: Suede Thompson vs. Yuma
This was a battle between two of the corniest wrestlers on the CWFH roster. Yuma acts like a jackass, and Suede acts like a modern version of the dude from the Offspring’s “Pretty Fly For A White Guy” video. Suede did the usual “Dab” bullshit. The crowd was dead for this, so the fake cord noise was used for this. It seriously fucking sucks, like Kevin Condron’s commentary. He yelled so loudly that you could hear his voice echo in the venue. I’m not kidding. The match itself wasn’t all that great. It had a decent pace, but the action was really boring. Suede got the win via pinfall after hitting Yuma with an elbow to advance in the PP3 Cup. Nothing really great. This match bordered on below average and was pretty boring.
After the match we get a commercial for the Addiction Recovery Group. They say I can’t beat my addictions on my own because no one can. My opiate problem has consumed my life. None of the people in this commercial are real addicts. They’re actors. Terrible actors, might I add. I feel like the people in this mall commercial wold’ve done a more conniving job. After the break, Toasterdork interviews Devin Sparks. He talks about some match that happened in Tucson. The fuck is going on here?
PP3 Cup Quarter Final Match: Ryan Taylor vs. Espitiru
The match started off with Espiritu getting some offense early on against Ryan Taylor, including a pair of tope suicidas. The fake crowd noise was REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING as usual. Dave Marquez needs to either stop doing that shit or kick whoever’s dick needs to be kicked to cut that shit out. Condron was annoying as fuck as usual, and no, not in a “he’s a heel he got a negative reaction which is what he wants” kind of way. He’s awful in a “holy fuck this guy makes me want to change the channel and never watch this shit show again” kind of way. Getting back to the match, Ryan Taylor regained control and applied a nicely applied triangle choke. Espiritu made a comeback before missing a Senton Bomb. Ryan Taylor got the win via submission to advance PP3 Cup. Decent match that could’ve been better. Condron’s commentary makes me want to jump through glass.
After a commercial, Josh Shibata interviewed Ty Matthews and Eric Watts. It was a promo. That’s my review of it.
Peter Avalon vs. Devin Sparks (w/ Ichi & Ni)
The story of this match was that Devin had a n issue over a match that happened in Arizona. Fake crowd noise and shitty commentary from Condron in this match too.There were antics and shenanigans from Sparks’ Young Boys. There was a cool spot where Sparks delivered a sidewalk slam to Peter Avalon on the ring apron. A few moments later, Sparks hit a belly-to-belly suplex off the top rope on Avalon. Avalon got the win after hitting the Martiniknees. This was a fun match. Condron brought it down a lot though with his annoying ass commentary. He should seriously be replaced with audio of this redneck saying the same line over and over. It’d be more insightful, thought provoking, and entertaining than anything Condron does, masked or unmasked.
After a commercial break, Toasterdork Grant interviews the DEEJ, DJ Hyde, who was literally buried in his parents’ backyard by John Zandig. No, I’m never going to stop mentioning that. He’s facing Big Duke in a cage mage. YEE.
Heather Monroe vs. Ruby Raze
As I’m watching this, I began to wonder whatever happened to that one white girl that was in the promo that reintroduced the women’s division to this show? Anyways, the match started off with Monroe getting some offense in before Raze hit an exploder suplex. Raze ended up controlling the match to the soothing sounds of the fake crowd noise, which sounds a lot like a little kid screaming as they’re being kidnapped. Still a lot more pleasant than Condron’s commentary. Heater made a comeback until Raze countered a monkey flip and hit a spear to get the win.
PP3 Cup Quarter Final Match: Dicky Maier (w/ the Pac 3) vs. Eric Watts (w/ Ty Matthews
Before the match, Kevin Condron went into business for himself by trying to get heat from Ty Matthews. I’m getting tired of this guy as I’m sure you’re probably getting tired of me trashing him. Well, sorry, I can’t help but to point out that he sucks on commentary. Maier got some offense in early until Watts took control. Dan Joseph wasn’t playing up to the Pac 3 schtick, with Dylan Bostic and Coach Flexo being the only ones getting involved, teasing tension with the Pac 3. The match was simple and had a basic storyline with Watts being the big man keeping things slow, and Maier using his speed to try to get control of the match. The Pac 3 got involved and helped Maier get the win. Maier continues to impress with his performances. Good match.
This was a decent episode, but at the same time i t was a step back from last week’s. Aside from the opener being boring, the matches were solid. The biggest issues with this show were Condron’s commentary, as he kept going into business for himself trying to get heat at the expense of the people inside the ring, and the fake crowd noise. The storytelling is also still a problem as a few angles on this program weren’t advanced or built up on this episode. Overall, this was a step backwards from the last two episodes, which were both enjoyable. YEE.