UIPW in Montebello on May 28th Review+Video of Teddy Hart vs. Steve Pain vs. Brian Cage

UIPW ran in Montebello on Saturday night with a card featuring Mr. Aguila in the main event, and a three way dance between Teddy Hart, Steve Pain, and Brian Cage.

I didn’t plan on going to UIPW, but Steve told me he was going to be in the area and I decided to go check out the event. I had no real expectations for this event. I went into this show with no expectations, and was hoping for a decent start time. Thankfully, the show only started 10 minutes after the advertised bell time.

Rocketboy D’Marco Wilson defeated Seiya in 9:39

This was a solid opener that the fans were really into. D’Marco Wilson was being called “Choco-late” cause he’s black. I imagine this is chanted at him and all other black guys at Lucha shows. Both guys were pretty solid in this, and the match had a good pace to it. Seiya was very impressive, and he seems like someone who could be a breakout star. Same with D’Marco Wilson. Both guys have potential to be really good in the future.

Superboy Jr., Principe Indu Jr., & Nightmare Azteca defeated Lagacy, Mariachi Loco, & Lestat in 13:47

This was a good six man tag match. Before the match, Mariachi Loco gave out a bag of his t-shirts to the crowd. Superboy Jr., Principle Indu Jr., and Nightmare Azteca started the match off by beating up the Technicos. They did a bunch of cool Lucha Fat Boy Offense, and eventually the babyfaces hit some spots. This was alright. Nothing that great or memorable. Can’t really write much about this other than it happened and it didn’t suck.

Thunder Rosa defeated Amazona, Sage Sin Supreme, Cristal, Lady Lee, & Datura to become the new UIPW Women’s Champion in 12:56

I wasn’t sure if this was a one fall or elimination match. Turned out to be the latter. The layout of the match mostly saw two or three women in the ring doing spots, while the other women were brawling on the outside. I’ve been told several times that Lady Lee might be the worst worker in SoCal. That’s a pretty big claim since we have wrestlers like American Oni and Justin Ryke in SoCal. She botched a few spots, but was eliminated quickly. Thunder Rosa was super over with the crowd. I couldn’t tell how many were actual fans, and how many of them were friends of hers. Her and Datura were the final two combatants in the match, and they had an exchange where they stiffed the shit out of each other. Thunder Rosa got the win, and the crowd popped huge for her victory. Good stuff here.

After this match was intermission. Steve and I sat around talking while out of control Mexican kids destroyed the venue.

Steve Pain defeated Teddy Hart (w/ Mr. Money) & Brian Cage in 9:55 to win the Undisclosed Championship.

This match was originally advertised as Steve Pain vs. Teddy Hart, but then Brian Cage was announced after Teddy and Steve were in the ring. It was also for the prestigious Undisclosed Championship. Teddy Hart came to the ring with his cat, Mr. Money, who might’ve been the most over performer on the card. This was a pretty good match. Mostly spots, crowd brawling, and a ref bump. Steve Pain was helped out by the debuting Judas Draven, who was some guy who was in the WWE developmental system for awhile. They hit some moves on Teddy Hart and won the match. They started beating up on him after the match, as Brian Cage left. Pain got on the mic and started talking shit, which led to Rush from CMLL coming out to save Teddy. Eventually, the Rudos were overpowered, and Rush got on the mic to challenge Pain and Draven to some match with Teddy as his partner. I had no idea what was being said, maybe you guys can tell what happened from the video, but all I know is there might be something planned in the future.

Los Luchas (Phoenix Star & Zokre) defeated Sin Limites & Sin Limites Jr. in 12:55 to retain the UIPW Tag Team Championship

I was looking forward to seeing Los Luchas on this show. It’s crazy to think of how long they’ve been around SoCal and are still doing their thing. Los Luchas hit some cool double team spots, but the Sin Limites dudes weren’t on their level. At one point in the match, one of the Sin Limites guys botched three spots in a row within the span of a minute. Yikes. Los Luchas got the win in a 2 out of 3 falls match, and they looked solid, but this wasn’t that good. The Sin Limites guys, or at least one of them, can do some flips and stuff, but they don’t seem to be very polished in the ring. The match was also predictable, because we already knew Los Luchas would be defending the titles against Ultimo Shamu & Shamu Jr next month.

Enigma, Stuka Jr., & Rocketboy D’Marco Wilson defeated (?) Ultimo Shamu, Shamu Jr., and Mr. Aguila in 19:37

Wasn’t sure about the result of this one. I heard the announcer say the technicos names, but not the Rudo team of the Shamus and Aguila. I also told Steve about it, and posted on the site, so we’re running with it. We also had a great view of Mr. Aguila’s ass during the whole match. At one point, someone (probably SoCal Wrestling Hipster Ed Alexander) asked me if I was going to review his, and I ended up making a comment about how Aguila looked like he was full of HGH. Aguila heard me and seemed to be upset about that. I did notice track marks on his ass cheek…

Anyways, this main event was a clusterfuck of shit. I don’t really know what happened other than D’Marco Wilson’s skateboard deck was used as a weapon, and everyone whipping each other with belts. There was also some crowd brawling throughout the match, and Mr. Aguila seemed like he was taking it easy in this. Way to earn that paycheck homie. Los Luchas ended up attacking the Shamus, and the action ended up spilling to the floor and there was a huge brawl around the venue to end the show. The technicos were still in the ring, and the ring announcer announced their names as if they won the match. End of show.

Final Thoughts

Man, I remember always going to Lucha shows and feeling disappointed in life after. With this event, I had to look at Mr. Aguila’s ass and found myself questioning my life’s choices at some points in this show. The experience wasn’t all bad. The opener was pretty good, as was the Teddy Hart vs. Steve Pain vs. Brian Cage match. Los Luchas looked solid in their match, and D’Marco Wilson is really impressive in the ring. I had a good time overall hanging out and talking to people. I also got to meet Mr. Money. Some good times, and some good laughs were had. Especially when Steve and I realized that the back of the ticket at UIPW said “All miners must be company by an adult.” No, I’m serious. The ticket actually said that shit.

UIPW will return to Montebello on June 11th with their 5th anniversary event, featuring Volodor Jr. (c) vs. Caristico (formerly Mistico & Sin Cara in WWE) vs. Misterioso Jr. for the UIPW Championship, Los Luchas (c) vs. Ultimo Shamu & Shamu Jr for the UIPW Tag Team Championship, and more.

 

 

Post Script: This might’ve been the worst review I’ve ever written.

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