Championship Wrestling From Hollywood Episode 317 Review: A Port Hueneme Tale

Despite the wrestling being boring last week, CWFH was able to make some improvements. Were they able to follow that up on this episode? Spoiler alert: no. But do feel free to enjoy my tribute to the 1993 classic “A Bronx Tale” in this review.

To watch this episode of Championship Wrestling From Hollywood, or to check out shows from promotions such as ROH and CMLL, check out the Fite TV app. The  Fite TV app also features the last ROH PPV, Best in the World 2017, featuring Cody Rhodes vs. ROH World Champion Christopher Daniels. Also be sure to check out CXF 8: Cali Kings on the Fite TV app if you’re an MMA fan. You can read my recaps of the non-tournament bouts here and my recap of the tournament bouts here. The Fite TV app will also have the upcoming RIZIN FF event. If you don’t know what RIZIN FF is, well, it’s the new Pride FC.  It’s really awesome.

The show starts off with Scorpio Sky being interviewed by Grant. They’re interrupted by Stevie Fierce and Rob Matter. Matter was wearing Stevie’s shirt. The way they were acting seemed implied that they were gay. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with that. This set up a match between the two. It wasn’t a good set up for the match, but it was a set up. You could even tell Sky was thinking “what the fuck is with this shit?” during the segment.

What a terrible way to build up his match with Rocky Romero on the Red Carpet Rumble “go home” show. Those guys deserve better than that. Shit like that is why nobody cares about the matches on this show. Bad build up. It’s like this show’s creative team has no take something and build it up well. Again, it’s why nobody cares about matches on this show.

Scorpio Sky vs. Stevie Fierce (w/ Rob Matter)

This started out with stalling and crowd work. Sky looked solid, but the match itself was boring. Stevie Fierce was pretty annoying. He tried doing heel work, but it came off lame. Matter got involved at some points in the match. The match had a commercial break, and after it came back we were treated to absolute nothingness. Rest hold segments like the ones in this match don’t get crowd heat. Why do you think Marquez has to pipe in fake crowd noise every show?

At one point in the match, Matter accidentally tripped Fierce instead of Sky, allowing Sky to make a comeback. Later in the match, Matter got involved for a distraction, but it did nothing. Sky hit the Ace of Spades to win the match. This was extremely boring and did Scorpio Sky no favors. It was a complete waste of his talent. Then again, everyone’s talent on this show ends up being wasted. There’s nothing I hate more than wasted talent.

After the match, a video message from Vickie Guerrero is played. She was hyping her appearance, along with Justin Roberts’ meet & greet. I bet she gets involved at the tapings and goes “EXCUSE ME” during a hacky segment.

Zicky Dice vs. Eric Watts (w/ Ty Matthews)

The match started off with Zicky attacking Watts before the bell rang. Watts ended up hitting him with a big boot and then controlled the match while the annoying fake noise played in the background. Zicky made a short comeback, but Watts hit his finisher to get the win. What a waste of TV time. This failed the Mario Test.

Post match shenanigans: Karl interviews Watts and Mathews at ringside after the match. They cut a promo about the Red Carpet Rumble. Then a promo is played for the Red Carpet Rumble taping tomorrow. I guess Brody King and DJ Hyde are facing each other based on Brody’s words. Then a bunch of guys cut bad promos to hype the Red Carpet Rumble. Well, at least they’re trying to build up the match.

Pac 3 (Dan Joseph & Dylan Bostic w/ Coach Flex) vs. Big Duke & Ray Rosas

Wait, why the fuck are Ray Rosas and Big Duke a tag team? Did the creative team not fucking thing of a way to explain why they’re tagging? Oh, wait, never mind. This is CWFH where nothing needs to be explained. Even the commentators had no idea how to explain it. I really want to talk some sense into Marquez about his creative team the way Sonny LoSpecchio tried to talk sense into Calogero Anello about his friends.

Water Dicky wasn’t with Pac 3. This match automatically lost a star from me. We get a standard face vs. heel tag formula match, with the heels working over Ray Rosas. Then Ray made a hot tag and Duke came in to lukewarm heat. Then the heels started to work over Duke, making this match even more boring and cookie-cutter than it was before. Ray Rosas came in to help Duke, but was hit with a sit out Spinebuster by Duke who thought he was a member of Pac 3. Then Dan Joseph pinned Duke. What a stupid finish for a boring match. Did Vince Russo book this shit? Un-fucking-believable.

Tito Escondido vs. Buddy Royal (w/ the fake Marquez son and Levi Shaprio)

Before the match, Joe Galli made a really bad “dia-beetus” joke. I cringed so hard at it. Tito was in control of the match during the opening portion of it, but eventually Buddy Royal gained control after Levi Shapiro tried to interfere. Royal began to work over Tito’s leg for awhile, and Levi got involved as well. At one point in the match, Tito hit a tope sucida on Levi who was outside of the ring right before a commercial break.

Buddy Royal started to control the match after a commercial and kept working over Tito’s leg. He also had help from Levi at ringside. Tito did his best at selling the leg work, but the crowd just wasn’t into this. Either that, or the annoying ass fake crowd noise drowned them out. Tito started to make a comeback and hit a bunch of moves, including a nice Blue Thunder Bomb. Levi got in the ring, but ended up being kicked in the head by Tito as he hit the Fade to Black on Buddy.

Post match shenanigans: Tito hit Levi with a Face To Black. Then the rest of the Office came out to beat up Tito and handcuffed him. While Tito was restrained, Peter got in his face. This ended with Tito being hit with a Lariat from DJ Hyde. The commentators started to act like this will possibly hurt Tito at the tapings tomorrow. The show closes with the Office standing tall and Tito laying in the middle of the ring. This was a good way to end the show and build up Tito vs. Peter.

Closing Thoughts

This was the “go home” show for CWFH. After having a show at a comic book store they hyped up heavily and an improved show format, they needed a home run. They didn’t get that. Now from that I heard, the Red Carpet Rumble did as well as they do for bigger events. The right person also won the between Tito sand Peter. The show’s inconsistency makes it hard to enjoy and follow. The matches are usually repetitive and formulaic, making for boring television and dead crowds.

No matter what CWFH does right, they always end up doing twenty-seven things wrong right after. It’s why nobody cares about the show. It’s not even worthy enough for a “Door Test” reference.

Don’t just take my word for it. Check it out on the Fite TV app and decide for yourself.

2 Responses to Championship Wrestling From Hollywood Episode 317 Review: A Port Hueneme Tale

  1. ollie 07/01/2017 at 11:53 PM #

    Any comment on marquez posting the winner of the tito-ppa match on facebook over a week before it aired? It ruined todays episode for me. I think um done with this show.

  2. Andrew 07/02/2017 at 1:40 AM #

    It really isn’t a big deal to me. The show has more problems it has to address than Marquez and everyone else posting pics of Tito with the belt on social media. I’m just glad Tito is getting the recognition he deserves.