On this episode of Championship Wrestling From Hollywood, Scorpio Sky defends the United Television Championship against Devin Sparks. Click for the review.
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We start off with Toasterdork Grant YELLING at the audience while Big Duke and Ray Rosas yell at each other. They were arguing over who is the #1 contender for Peter’s title until the fake Marquez son interrupted and made a triple threat match between them for this episode. Toasterdork yelled more. Fuck I hate this douche. The fake Marquez son talks, and Kevin Condron enters to explain what a promo is. This was really, really, REALLY fucking stupid. The fake Marquez son makes Condron a timekeeper. We then go tot he outdated intro that really needs to go. What a shitty start to this episode.
United Wrestling Network Tag Team Championship Match: Eric Watts and Ty Matthews vs. Kwip Sullivan and Damien Smith
This was Kwip Sullivan’s debut match. I have no idea who tis fucking dude is, but I learned that he has flesh colored tights. The commentators brought up how stupid this title match was. Damien had some offense before Watts took control. The fake crowd noise played over the loud speakers as usual, and it was terrible as usual. Watts won after hitting a top rope splash on Damien. This match had nothing intriguing about it. It was predictable, cause we know these guys weren’t going to win the tag titles. This was a complete waste of time. There’s no need to have a champion squash jobbers. What a fucking awful start to the show so far.
Somewhere in a dark place, Jarek 1:20 cut a promo complaining about Tyler Bateman. He said whatever “facade” he was putting on was over. He also said he’s Cujo before the show went to a commercial on a bad edit. The first nine minutes of this show have been brutal so far.
United Wrestling Network Hollywood Heritage Championship Match: Peter Avalon (c) vs. Ray Rosas vs. Big Duke
The booking of this match confused the commentators, who pointed out the flaw in the fake Marquez son’s logic that it would cost him the title. The fans turned their backs on Peter, which was sorta cringe-inducing. The opening portion of the match had some nice three way sequences. Peter and Ray did some work as a team on Duke for awhile before Ray and Duke beat up on Peter. There was a cool spot where Ray hit a slingshot on Peter into Duke, who caught him and hit a sit out underhook-powerbomb. Peter rolled outside and called for some help. The Classic Connection ran in wearing cheap suits and attacked Ray and Duke. Ugh. The commentators then began to speculate that the fake Marquez son gave the Classic Connection the old Heritage Tag Team Championship belts. The fans chanted “Corporate Sellouts” at them, even though they were heels. They’re not sellouts, this was something fans should’ve expected. So dumb.
Backstage, Toasterdork Grant interviews the fake Marquez son and the DEEJ, DJ Hyde. I guess they’re calling their Corporation stable ripoff “The Office.” DEEJ talks about a match he was supposed to have with Tito that was never brought up on television. So dumb. He’s facing Brody King. Poor Brody, I feel bad for him here. He should not be jobbing to a guy who was literally buried in his parents’ backyard by John Zandig.
DJ Hyde vs. Brody King
Godfuckingdammit this show was on such a good, but now they’re doing all this stupid bullshit with shitty workers. This was such a waste of Brody King’s talent. Fuck this whole “office’ angle. It’s just bad. DEEJ hit the most pathetic looking spinning back elbow on Brody. He won with a shitty clothesline. Goddamn this show is such bullshit.
Post match shenanigans: Tito Escondido shows up at ringside and grabs a microphone to call out DEEJ and challenges him to a fight. DEEJ stood in the ring, and Tito got in the face of the fake Marquez son who did an awful job at selling Tito’s threat. He was not supposed to be standing in Tito’s face, he was supposed to be a coward because he’s having a wrestler threaten him. This did nothing but hurt Tito’s character even more. Holy fuck the creative team at Championship Wrestling From Hollywood are a bunch of fucking MORONS.
Ricky Mandel vs. Ryan Taylor
So now CWFH is going in a different, yet still stupid, direction with the “spiritual” gimmick Ryan Taylor is doing. This was pretty boring for the most part. Lots of basic shit. There was a nice back drop suplex by Ryan Taylor in this. He also went for a shitty looking leg lock that the commentators called a knee bar, even though it looked nothing like a knee bar. Mandel used the ropes for leverage to get the pin on Ryan Taylor as he was going for a leg lock. What a boring match.
Post match shenanigans: Ryan Taylor sat in the ring and meditated. This show is really, really bad. Backstage, the chick interviews Devin Sparks, who is with his Young Boys. 30 minutes into the show and they’re FINALLY talking about the main event title match. CWFH continues to thrive at being terrible at building up the matches. After a commercial, the chick interviews Watts and Ty Matthews. This was brutally boring and lame.
United Wrestling Network Television Championship Match: Scorpio Sky (c) vs. Devin Sparks (w/ Ichi & Ni)
The match started out with Sky in control of Sparks for the opening portion of the match until Sparks’ young boys prevented Sky from hitting a dive. This resulted in Sparks being able to get the upper hand on Sky that saw him hit a belly-to-back suplex on the ring apron, which Sparks used to work over the back of Sky before the show went to a commercial break. Sparks was in control after the show returned. Sky would make an eventual comeback. The finishing stretch saw Sparks’ young boys get involved that helped him get a near fall, but Sky would comeback and hit the Ace Of Spades for the victory.
Final Thoughts
This was a really bad episode of Championship Wrestling From Hollywood. The entire show centering around uninteresting characters and a lousy angle that is nothing more than a ripoff of the WWF’s main angle in the late 90’s where an authority figure is the top heel and has his own faction is fucking lame. It was bad when this show was trying to be a rip off of 80’s wrestling TV shows, but now it’s worse for ripping off ideas from 20 years ago.
Don’t just take my word for it. Check it out on the Fite TV app. There’s other stuff on there that’s really good and worth checking out like Ring Of Honor TV.
