Championship Wrestling From Hollywood Episode 264 & 265 Reviews

More Championship Wrestling From Hollywood reviews. You know the drill by now. Lots of shitty stuff, but Scorpio Sky vs. Peter Avalon might be the saving grace of this company. atox is a creep.

Episode 264

Fake-Russian douche Sasha Darevko (w/ fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips) vs. Jorel Nelson

This started out the show. No lame backstage interviews, just an intro and straight to the action. Basic shit. Crowd work. Fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips choked Nelson in the most comical way possible. The way he interfered was like unintentional comedy. His shenanigans looked so bad that it was funny. The fake-Russian douche won in a pretty boring ass match. This show looks like shite in a bucket on the FITE TV app.

Post match shenanigans: Dan Masters tried to interview the fake-Russian douche, but the fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips guy lifted him up and shook him. It looked a lot more like the Yeti dry humping Hulk Hogan than a guy shaking some dude down. The douche talks, and I begin to long for pre-NWO era WCW. This show is awful.

After a commercial, Dan Masters is backstage with Los Primos Rivera. Danny Limelight did all the relevant talking, and he did a good job here. Masters is also good as an interviewer. He should replace the other dorks.

Eric Watts (w/ Ty Matthews) vs. Jared Vargas

This was just a shitty ass, glorified squash that went too long. I don’t even want to waste my time writing anything more about this shit. A fucking bowling gimmick in 2016. Fuck this shit. Watts won after hitting a bunch of shitting standing elbows. What a waste of TV time. Airing a Chippah TV from Youtube would’ve been a better use of TV time than this shit.

After a commercial, Dan Masters is interviewing Ashley Grace. He lies and says the women’s division in Championship Wrestling From Oxnard is talked about all over the nation. Well, maybe people are because of a clip of Ashley Grace vs. Kahmora that was featured recently on an episode of Botchamania,. Grace cuts a promo. It’s pointless. Anyone know whatever happened to that unnamed white girl that was in that promo at Coastline Clash, or are supposed to forget about her? What about Raze? What happened there?

Tito Escondido vs. Damien Smith

As Damien Smith was making his entrance, Tito attacked him from behind and destroyed him on the outside of the ring. After kicking his ass for a few moments, Tito throws Damien into the ring to start the match. Worthless Ass Yuma and Ryan Taylor came out randomly during the match. Tito hit a nice Dragon suplex, followed by a that Fireman’s Carry into a Gutbuster he calls “Paint It Black.” Joe Galli, showing how much of a fucking dork he is, says “play the AC/DC, because Bad Tito has ‘Painted It Black.” Todd Keneley corrected him thankfully. Galli should be fucking fired for letting Keneley make him look like a nerd, but not as big of a nerd as atox was at WWE Money In The Bank.

Post match shenanigans: Tito trashes Alexander Hammerstone, and says he doesn’t need Vermin. He asks worthless ass Yuma and Ryan Taylor “why are y’all still here?” and leaves. Hopefully this means Tito is going to get a singles push. Fuck this Vermin horseshit. Bring in H.A.T.E. Also, Tito deserves to be showcased better than to be put in these lame ass squash matches and segments where he bickers with Yuma’s lame ass.

Big Duke vs. Dan Joseph (w/ the Pac 3)

Holy fucking shit, as if the bowling gimmick wasn’t bad enough, I had to be reminded of this stupid ass gimmick CWFH has going. Awful. Just fucking awful. Duke just punches Dan Joseph several times. The pace is slow and boring. Joseph is a terrible chickenshit heel. All the antics sucked. The moves were just basic as fuck, and there was no real story being told aside from Duke facing a guy who has his stable with him at ringside. The announcers made a bunch of stupid puns too. Duke won with an average looking clothesline.

Post match shenanigans: Duke hit his clothesline on Dicky Mayer. Dan Masters interviews Duke. The Pac 3 are really insufferable. Their gimmick is awful, Dicky Mayer is the only guy in the stable that has some promise, but he’

United Network Wrestling Television Championship Match: Tyler Bateman (c) (w/ Jarek 1:20) vs. James Morgan

The FITE TV app stopped playing before this match. James Morgan started out the match with some terrible looking offense. He seriously comes off like a regular ass dude trying to be a pro wrestler. This was slow, boring, and full of BASIC SHIT. James Morgan did an awful variation of Bryan Danielson’s Cattle Mutilation. Seriously this match was really fucking boring. Like my notes for this match were “punches, kicks, stomps, don’t watch if concussed.” Bateman won with a rolling elbow after a bunch of stupid, contrived shenanigans. That’s the end of this shitty episode.

Bateman is capable so much better. Let that fucker put on competitive matches with guys like Sky, Ryan Taylor, Tito Escondido, Joey Ryan, Mike Camden, Timothy Thatcher, Drew Gulak, or Douglas James. Enough of these boring, basic ass matches with guys like James Morgan or pointless squash matches. That shit don’t cut it anymore, people aren’t going to watch or go to shows if they see boring ass matches, and the product will never be anything more than some whack ass show nobody gives a shit about. Come on Marquez, you got so much potential to have a great product in a major television market that could get tons of hype, and you’re fucking it all up by doing all the same shit that people told you was played out back when you fucked up NJPW-USA.

Episode 265

The show starts off with Dan Masters, who is an acceptable backstage interviewer, trying to interview Tito Escondido. Instead, he’s taken over by whack ass Yuma, who fails at trying to be funny. Also, I don’t understand why Tito was cool with Yuma in this segment when he blew off him and Ryan Taylor last week. Less Yuma., more Chippah.

Vermin (Kevin Martenson & Johnny Yuma) vs. Los Primos Rivera (Danny Limelight & Seville The Thrill)

After spending time at his nest, Gino “Birdman” Rivera came back from his nest to take part in some type of challenge series match or something. I don’t know exactly what this challenge series is, but so far it’s been nothing but shitty ass heel vs. heel tag matches. Ryan Taylor is on commentary and talks about how he was supposed to be in this match instead of Martenson. Gino looks like a pigeon this week. Seriously, look at the way he moves and how he sticks his chest out. He looks like a pigeon. The Puerto Rican Pigeons hit some ok dives on Vermin, with Limelight doing an impressive tope con giro. Usually Limelight does a lot of shit that doesn’t look polished, but, but his work ethic really shows in boring matches on boring shows like these. Yuma did a shitty comeback spot before getting a hot tag on Martenson. He hit a really nice belly-to-belly suplex on Limelight, which was the highlight of the match. The Puerto Ricans got the win after a bunch of shenanigans. Match was mostly boring. I’d like to see Danny Limelight have a singles match with Kevin Martenson. I think they could do some good shit.

Post match shenanigans: Yuma cried like a bitch, the Puerto Ricans are loud, Martenson argued with Ryan Taylor, and no fucks are really given.

THE DEEJ DJ Hyde vs. Ruben Iglesias

The DEEJ was buried in his parents’ backyard by John Zandig. That’s not hyperbole, that’s not a figure of speech, Zandig literally buried the DEEJ in his parents’ backyard at one of CZW’s biggest shows of the year. If Championship Wrestling From Hollywood is going to do cross-promotional shit with CZW, they should at least get a guy who wasn’t buried in his parents’ backyard during a major event. Now, Ruben Iglesias isn’t worth caring about. I’m sorry, but he’s just another guy who looks like he’s in bad shape pretending to be a wrestler. I know the resident SoCal Wrestling Hipster Ed Alexander loves Ruben, but come on, this dude shouldn’t be on TV in any capacity. Him getting squashed doesn’t mean shit to anyone, and it doesn’t put over the guy who won the match. The fact that this was DJ HYDE squashing RUBEN IGLESIAS means even fucking less to the audience. Not only was this a waste of TV time, but it also makes Championship Wrestling From Port Hueneme look even more bush league than they already do.

Anyways, fuck this match.

Post match shenanigans: Dan Masters interviews Peter Avalon to talk about the Scorpio Sky vs. Peter Avalon main event.

Scorpio Sky vs. Peter Avalon

This match is a prime example of the shit Championship Wrestling From Hueneme needs to be producing. Peter’s Hollywood Heritage Championship wasn’t on the line in this. Matches that get a good amount of time with guys who can actually have good matches. The commentary was lame and corny as usual, but that doesn’t change the fact that this was the best booked segment and match that I’ve seen in some time. The match wasn’t fast paced or full of spots, but it had GOOD chain wrestling with technique that isn’t usually seen on these shows.

Obviously this match was meant to build up a rematch between the two, so they didn’t go all out and have a sprint. Both guys are very capable of putting on matches at a really fast pace with tons of spots, but they didn’t need to do that in this match. Sky did an old Super Dragon spot where he dropped Peter Avalon on his head after a Mexican Surfboard. Avalon hit a tope onto Sky later on in the match after a second commercial break. The pace picked up after they go back in the ring, with Avalon hitting a springboard plancha off the ring apron onto Sky, and Sky hitting a Chris Bosh-esque (the former SoCal wrestler, not the NBA player) backbreaker.

Sky and Avalon ended up having a nice finishing stretch with lots of counter wrestling until Sky hit a flying knee to the face of Peter Avalon. The referee checked on Avalon and called for the bell to give Sky the win by KO. This was such a good match, and it sets up a rematch in the future between Sky and Avalon for the Hollywood Heritage Championship. This was, without a doubt, the best thing this series has produced since I started watching, and hopefully a step in the right direction.

Final Thoughts

Episode 264 was an example of everything that sucks about this series. Boring, pointless matches not worth caring about.

Episode 265 was a mixed bag. Aside from Sky/Avalon, there wasn’t anything worth caring about. And as I said, Sky/Avalon was really good. I hope they go balls out in their rematch, because I know they could get people talking if they were able to wrestle without limits and just do whatever they can think of doing.

As for other aspects of the shows and stuff. Dan Masters is a good backstage interviewer. He’s not loud, he’s not annoying, and he’s direct. I think he’d be perfect as the full-time backstage reporter for this show. He’s no Cathy Kelley, but he’s good at his job and deserves some praise. The FITE TV app though sucks fucking balls. I got really good internet speed, none of my devices were on, and when I try to watch the show, the feed always goes out. Plus the quality and playback are awful. I’ll stick to DVR’ing these shows instead of using the app.

About the Author

Andrew
SoCal's favorite son.