It’s been awhile, but I haven’t forgotten about the show I love to hate, Championship Wrestling From Hollywood. To make up for the time off, I review some episodes of Championship Wrestling From Ventura County. No bullshit intro, let’s get into this shit.
Championship Wrestling From Hollywood Episode 260
Show starts off with Toasterdork Grant interviewing the fake-Russian douche, who is accompanied as always by fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips guy. Grant has was more tolerable here, as he didn’t yell too much. He stood there and made dumb faces during a dumb promo. Grant, I know you read this shit, so let me just say that you should be more like Mean Gene instead of some LOUD YELLING GUY, because you’re more tolerable when you’re not being LOUD YELLING GUY. Anyways, the fake-Russian cut a promo on Scorpio Sky. He makes no mention of his opponent, Julius Coleman.
Fake-Russian (w/ Fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips) vs. Julius Coleman
After the intro sequence, we get this match. The announcers keep talking about the fake-Russian was upset at Scorpio Sky and blamed him for losing to Peter Avalon at Coastline Clash. This match was pretty slow, and the story wasn’t interesting. Coleman got the win, and the announcers sold it like it was the biggest thing to ever happen. Fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips character legitimately reminds me of Dragon from Arrested Development.
Post match shenanigans: The fake-Russian douche is mad. Backstage, Toasterdork interviews Big Duke and he says stuff. Basically he’s happy he beat Eli Drake and is gonna challenge for a title. No mention of his opponent, Dylan Drake.
Big Duke vs. Dylan Drake
This was the TV debut for Dylan Drake, who has no relation to Eli Drake it seems. He got the “already in the ring” jobber treatment. Match started out with basic shit. Duke did the punches in the corner spot, and was countered by a powerbomb backbreaker by Drake. Wow, something actually cool happened on this show! Drake continued to work over Duke’s back, which made the match less basic, standard, and formulaic shit we usually get on this show. While the match itself wasn’t the most exciting, and the action mostly decent, it still had a good display of ring psychology and told a good wrestling story. Duke’s selling of his back could’ve been a little better, and his Lariat doesn’t really look that cool as a finisher, but he was still alright here. Drake’s back work was also done well. Nothing bad, but at the same time nothing truly captivating.
Backstage with Toasterdork, who is interviewing Ty Mathews. He cuts a contrived promo about time on Rocky Romero. After a commercial break, the dork who isn’t Grant interviews Peter Avalon and James Morgan, who are facing Jervis Cottonbelly and The Hobo in a championship showcase. That’s really all that I can say about this.
DJ Hyde vs. Jorel Nelson
I laugh at the fact that Championship Wrestling From Port Hueneme is booking THE DEEJ while XWW booking ZANDIG. Although this wasn’t a total squash, this match was pretty boring. The DEEJ got the win with a Sleeperhold Suplex, followed by a Lariat. I have to admit, his Lariat was more impressive than Duke’s. But yeah, this was a boring match. Watching Zandig’s return to CZW was more exciting than this.
Post match shenanigans: Grant interviews DEEJ. DEEJ cuts a lame promo. He’s no Zandig. DEEJ looked like he needed to take a shit.
Backstage, Toasterdork is back, and he’s yelling. Sigh, you were on a roll till this point dude. Anyways, Julius Coleman cuts a promo. It felt completely out of place and pointless, as it completely ignored the fact that we just saw him win a match against a former title contender.
The Friendship Express (The Hobo & Jervis Cottonbelly) vs. Peter Avalon & James Morgan
They all did a photo-op with the champions posing with the belts. The commentators tried to sell this match as a “Dream Match” of some sorts. Jervis Cottonbelly continues to be one of the lamest wrestlers ever, right behind The Hobo. The match is boring, and there’s a shitty comedy spot involving Jervis reading a magazine while he had Peter Avalon in a Camel Clutch. This match had no heat until Vermin jumped in the ring and attacked the champions, resulting in a no contest.
Post match shenanigans: Yuma cut a lame promo saying Vermin is stronger than ever. He said dang. Ugh. Dave Marquez comes out and got on the mic and booked an eight man tag match. Not gonna lie, Dave was good in this role. He usually sucks as a backstage interviewer, but he came off as an actual authority figure here, as he had an actual presence. Plus this was a decently booked angle, as it was something different and unexpected.
Vermin (Joey Ryan, Ryan Taylor, Tito Escondido & Yuma) vs. Jervis Cottonbelly, The Hobo, James Morgan, & Peter Avalon
Match starts off with Jervis tickling Yuma. I’m not kidding. He was actually tickling Yuma to start the match and Yuma sold. I’m sure that spot is over with the people who are into the other type of “wrestling” Yuma does, but it was really stupid and dumb here. Vermin jumped Jervis after Yuma bitched out, and it turned into a big clusterfuck brawl, resulting in Vermin leaving the ring to setup some really stupid spot where Jervis fainted off the top rope to the floor. He mostly landed on James Morgan and The Hobo, while everyone was mostly untouched. Hobo started jumping around and no selling, while everyone else laid around looking stupid thanks to his shitty selling. After that, there was a lot of boring bullshit like restholds, character work. and BASIC shit. Peter Avalon and Tito Escondido had a good sequence, but that wasn’t enough to make this match watchable. Finish saw Joey Ryan having Jervis on his shoulders for a Doomsday Device, Vermin were on three sides of the ring as Joey yelled for someone to jump. Jervis rolled up Joey after sending Joey into the ropes to crotch his partners. Well, that sucked.
Post match shenanigans: Vermin are mad, and the champions celebrate to end episode 260.
Championship Wrestling From Hollywood Episode 261
We start off with the same bland opening with Grant interviewing Vermin, who are without Joey Ryan and Kevin Martenson, as Tito Escondido pointed out after Yuma cut a lame promo on the Classic Connection. I’m not going to call Grant “Toasterdork” when he’s tolerable. He was tolerable here. Sadly, I can’t say the same about the commentary for this first match, as the Hobo and Jervis Cottonbelly are guest commentators. Ugh.
Hobo has a parody Bullet Club shirt…
What an awful start to this episode.
Now before I start, I’d like to send a special message to Levi Shaprio. Levi claims that I called him a racist (with emphasis about me saying it online, as if we ever had the chance to meet in person) because of a shitty promo in episode 249 he cut that featured a line that actually could be considered racist. Actually, I was saying that what he said in the promo was racist, that Dave Marquez utilizes angles that race bait Mexicans way too much, and that Shapiro’s promo was lazy, uncreative, and hack comedy shit. I’ll even republish what I wrote to make it clear that I never called the wrestler playing Levi Shapiro racist (although I did make a joke about not caring about a match featuring a character with a bigoted Jew, which would be a better gimmick than his current one) so that he can stop freaking out over a bad review:
What Shaprio said was ignorant on so many levels, and legitimately fucking racist. I’m not saying he’s racist himself, but what he said was.
I later reemphasized this same point:
Again, I’m not saying Shapiro is a racist or that I’m offended by the fact that he’s using race to get cheap heat. All I’m trying to get across is that what he did was lazy and that he’s an uncreative hack, and if there’s anything about his promo that should be considered offensive, it’s the fact that he’s a lazy, uneducated performer making terribly unfunny jokes and that society has some ridiculous double standards when it comes to who you can and can’t make fun of on TV.
There. I hope that clears that up for Levi so he can be factual when he’s talking shit about me. That or he should just get the fuck over it.
The Classic Connection (Levi Shapiro & Buddy Royal) vs. Vermin (Ryan Taylor & Yuma)
Ok, now back tot he show. The booking of this match was stupid. Vermin are heels, and the Classic Connection are heels. Who are the fans supposed to care about? Ryan Taylor and Buddy Royal had a good chain wrestling sequence to start the match. Taylor also did a belly-to-back drop on the apron to Royal, which was kinda cool. Royal and Taylor worked well together. The match went to a commercial break, and when it returned, Royal got the hot tag on Levi Shapiro, who did a bunch of shitty looking SPINNING SHIT Polish Hammers. Ryan Taylor hit a head kick on Royal, but the camera missed it. The referee stopped counting a pinfall so that Royal could kick out. Ryan Taylor got the win for his team after hitting a Brainbuster/A Perfect Circle combo for the win. Problem with this was that Ryan Taylor wasn’t the legal man. He never got tagged in. Yuma got rolled up , and Taylor came in for the save. He was never the legal man. Dumbass ref.
Post match shenanigans: Yuma cut a promo. It sucked. Here’s a video of Zandig killing Joey Janela.
Grant is backstage with Scorpio Sky. Grant is more tolerable, but yells a but too much. Sky doesn’t get to talk, and is interrupted by fake-Russian Kool-Aid Man and fake-Russian Lou Diamond Philips. fake-Russian Kool-Aid Man says stuff. Sky disses fake-Russian Kool-Aid Man to set up a match. After a match, Holidead is with Toasterdork Grant. He was on a role until he started yelling. He said she was about to go out to the ring to face Ashley Grace. He does a terrible job at selling for Holidead’s gimmick. Back to the ring, the regular commentary team is back. Ryan Taylor and Yuma are still ringside, and Tito asks them to leave as he wants to prove he can do things on his own.
Tito Escondido vs. Joe Graves
I’ve seen some of Joe Graves’ matches on Youtube against Timothy Thatcher, and he was very impressive. They do some really good grappling techniques and some solid shoot-style chain wrestling to start the match. Graves hit a really cool Double Leg takedown slam on Tito, which wasn’t the most flashy spot in the world, but it was still cool and it got a good reaction. Graves had a good showcase of what he could do until Tito hit a nasty looking Dragon Suplex on Graves. Tito gets the win after hitting the Paint It Black (the Fireman’s Carry Butbuster that Roderick Strong does, for those unfamiliar with the move) on Graves.
Post match shenanigans: Grant interviews Tito at ringside. Tito said he was off his game cause he was drinking and partying the night before and cuts a promo about wanting a title shot, and calls out Dave Marquez. Backstage, Toasterdork Grant yells a bit and interviews Tyler Bateman and Jarek 1:20. He talks about James Morgan and says he wants “the old James Morgan” back. Eh.
Big Duke vs. Julius Coleman
This match had a simple Big Man vs. Little Man story. Coleman was trying to work over Duke and using his speed advantage to gain the advantage on him. Lots of basic shit and restholds. Duke made a comeback. Eventually, Duke wins the match after throwing Coleman face first into the corner, followed by his Lariat finisher. This match wasn’t bad, nor was it any good. It was just a few minutes of blandness.
Post match shenanigans: Big Duke put over Julius Coleman. The commentators at ringside begging to talk about James Morgan vs. Tyler Bateman for the United Wrestling Network Television Championship. Toasterdork Grant is interviewing Ashley Grace. Toasterdork is yelling again. Ugh. Ashley Grace cut a bad promo. Toasterdork says this match is happening next week. Toasterdork Grant should be replaced by Lyle “Chip” Chipperson. The Chippah would be a better interviewer than him.
United Wrestling Network Television Championship Match: James Morgan (c) vs. Tyler Bateman (w/ Jarek 1:20)
I liked how there was build up to this match during this episode. From the promo by Bateman, to the pre-match preview by the commentators talking about the history between Batman and Morgan.James Morgan controlled the beginning portion of the match with BASIC SHIT! Bateman ended up regaining control and hit some BASIC SHIT! Then Morgan got control and did even more BASIC SHIT! A few fans were chanting for James Morgan, the babyface, while more were chanting for Bateman, who is supposed to be a heel. Morgan did a Tilt-A-Whirl head scissors to send Bateman to the outside, and then did a crossbody splash from the top rope. Jarek 1:20 ended up interfering when the referee was checking on Bateman on the outside. After commercial, Bateman was in control. He did a bunch of BASIC SHIT, but the thing about his BASIC SHIT was that he brought some intensity in the match. Still, this was restholds and strikes galore. Morgan did a weak comeback before Bateman retook control.
The match doesn’t really evolve much. It’s just a bunch of punches, kicks, restholds, and character work. I think Bateman is better than this, and James Morgan isn’t that good of a wrestler. He can perform moves decently, but he’s pretty bad at everything else. Bateman got the win and is the new United Wrestling Network Television Champion. This match was honestly boring, but I’m glad CWFH put the belt on the more entertaining performer.
I was originally going to review episode 262, but my DVR is fucked up. It also didn’t record 263. I don’t think reviews will be done for those episodes. I will say I watched part of episode 262, and there was a slight improvement for the show’s start, as they had Tyler Bateman and Jarek 1:20 cutting a promo in a dark place without anyone interviewing them. This was good because it gave them a different dynamic and made them seem unique. The promo was too lengthy, but this was still move in the right direction. I also caught Ashley Grace vs. Holidead, which was much better than Grace’s match with Kahmora. Holidead seemed to know how to work with Grace’s style. Besides that, I didn’t catch the rest of the episode as I was hoping to watch it later on DVR. On an unrelated note, AT&T Uverse sucks dick.
Episode 260 was a mixed bag of good concept ideas with boring/lame shit thrown in. The main event angle was good, but it could’ve been better if half the performers in the match didn’t suck. Seriously, the Hobo no-selling a dive while everyone did was fucking RE-TARD-ED. Big Duke vs. Dylan Drake wasn’t really that good of a match, but the story and psychology behind it helped make it better.
Episode 261 had a really good match with Tito Escondido and Joe Graves. They did stuff that you usually don’t see on any of these shit shows, and it would be great to see more technical matches on this show with guys who actually know how to do that kind of shit. The booking of Vermin vs. the Classic Connection was stupid. Tyler Bateman becoming the new TV champ was a good choice, but the match he had with Morgan was boring.
While the booking is a lot less bland, the shows still aren’t very good. Still, there are a lot of small steps being taken in the right direction.