“THE” JON ALLEN welcomed people to the show and hoped they had a great time, but was interrupted by JOEY “THE BONE” BARONE! Joey brought a briefcase with him and grabbed a mic, saying that he was here to hijack Fandemonium because his demands were not being met. He made fun of the entire city, disgustingly making fun of San Diego by saying that they needed a hero like him because Tony Gwynn had just died! Joey stated that he’d heard that the former wrestling promoter who’s belt he still carried threatened to sue FUW and the Skybox after he showed off his belt at FU II, and that if FUW wasn’t going to “do the right thing” and recognize him as the real heavyweight champion, he would show off the belt again and end the company right here and now! Announcer Jon Allen got in the ring and begged Joey not to do it, to mixed reactions from the crowd who wanted to see the belt. He said he knew Joey could kick his ass, but that he had bad news, and good news. Representing the company, he said that FUW’s board of directors had received all of Joey’s threats, and finally had an answer. Was Joey Barone a legitimate heavyweight champion who never lost his title? “Yes.” Was he a great wrestler? “Yes.” Was he the Fans United Wrestling Heavyweight Champion? “NO.” Jon asked where was Joey when FUW needed him when they were just going into business and needed his help? That they’d reached out to Joey again for FU II, he declined because they wouldn’t meet all his demands, and then he showed up and tried to take over the show. That in trying to be champion of a new company without even having a match, he was spitting in the face of talent that were busting their ass to make FUW something; SHADY for being a part of HUMAN TORNADO’S best match in years. DAMON DIVINE for trying to get into the main event. ELI EVERFLY for smashing his head through a ceiling light but finishing the match. MATT TWIZTED for being thrown into thumbtacks to legitimize the Nug Life Championship. Huge pops for names mentioned! Joey was right though, there was no Fans United Heavyweight Championship…”until now.” The brand new FUW heavyweight belt was displayed. The champion will be crowed via a tournament at “4 The Gold” on August 9th. Just as Jon was about to tell Joey the “good news,” SO CAL CRAZY came to the ring and interrupted! He told Joey that it doesn’t matter what the “idiot fans” think, that they were the two best talents in FUW, and that they would take over the company! Jon told Joey the good news; Joey would have a chance to be on the roster AND compete in the tournament, but he would have to beat someone already ON the roster; Jon announced Joey’s opponent, the SoCal Uncensored rookie of the year, ELI EVERFLY! Eli came to the ring and the first match of the show was underway!
-Having not planned on having a match, Joey removed his shirt and wrestled in his pressed slacks and fancy dress shoes. The announcers hyped how this could finally be ELI’s first win in FUW, and how much it would mean if he beat an established veteran and former heavyweight champion in Joey “The Bone” Barone! This match was all over the place, spilling to the outside and into the fans numerous times. Both wrestlers nearly got pinfalls on each other throughout the course of the match, with Joey continually “clipping Eli’s wings” with ruthless submissions to take away his ariel assaults. At somewhere around the ten minute mark, after some incredibly devastating moves from “The Bone,” Joey managed to get a pinfall victory over his young adversary with a handful of tights, officially securing his place on the FUW roster AND his place in the upcoming tournament for the FUW heavyweight championship. A very decisive yet controversial victory for the man from Milan Italy. He mocked Jon on his way out, taking the briefcase with his own heavyweight championship belt with him. Another round of applause for the disappointed and beaten Eli Everfly as he made his way to the back, as the commentators agreed that his day would come.
-In a special Lucha Libre Tag Team attraction match, KRAY Z KLOWN & SCORPIO went head to head with EXTREME PARKA and VENOM! Kray Z came to the ring spraying silly string at the fans and the ring girl, much to his delight. Another very back and forth match, as both teams were definitely trying to establish themselves as the dominant tag team in the company. Both sides took liberties against the rules when they could get away with it without the referee seeing, but eventually after a viscous double team maneuver, KRAY Z KLOWN & SCORPIO took home the win via pinfall!
-As the third match was about to be announced, JIMMY RAY WALKER (aka “#JRDUB”) interrupted the show with his manager DAN “THE MAN” BUBLITZ! Dan gave the fans a quick “history lesson,” reminding them how at Skyboxmania, JRDub had beaten not one, but TWO adversaries in a triple threat match, and at FU II, was the MVP of the grab bag tag match, yet didn’t have a match here tonight. Jimmy called this “hash tag BULLSHIT,” and vowed that by the end of the night, everyone would know who he was!
-ALI HUSSEIN came out to the ring ready to face his “mystery opponent.” CHRIS DISNEY’S music hit, as he was announced under his new moniker of CHRIS “MERICA” DISNEY! Sporting an even more xenophobic attitude than before, Chris came out to a very big reaction, as no one had seen him compete anywhere in almost an entire year! The match began with ALI locking Chris in a headlock and relentlessly clinging on until finally Chris escaped with a back suplex. Chris beat down on Ali, making use of his size and power advantage throughout the match, with Ali continually coming back attempting to use his speed advantage to take home the win. At one point, Ali hit a SICK asai DDT to a huge pop from the crowd. Eventually, Chris hit his new finisher the “LiberTDT” to take home a pinfall victory. The fans popped big for the finish as Chris left to the strands of Matt Stone and Trey Parkers “America (F*** Yeah).” Afterwards, JIMMY RAY WALKER hit the ring and attacked an already injured Ali Hussein to gain revenge for Ali eliminating him from the Talent Showcase Battle Royale at FU II.
-DARK USAGI hit the ring with his bodygaurd ANTHONY IDOL and manager SUSUKE SAITO for his match with SHADY. SHADY came out to a very positive reaction from the fans and another Fans United Wrestling first time exclusive was underway. A very competitive encounter, as Shady was in rare form, hitting trademark moves like his “90 Legdrop” to try and counter the wild and unpredictable style of Usagi. Susuke joined the commentary team, berating Americans and claiming that his Dark Usagi would win the tournament and be the first ever FUW Heavyweight Champion. Unfortunately, Shady was unable to overcome Dark Usagi AND the constant outside interference from Anthony Idol, and in a shocking surprise upset, Usagi actually managed to get a pinfall victory over Shady. Not satisfied with the win however, Susuke instructed his clients to make a statement, and they started going to work beating on Shady. The referee was attacked trying to stop it. RASTA LION attempted to break it up, but was beaten down for his trouble as well. MATT TWIZTED finally hit the ring with a kendo stick and cleared house! Afterward, it was announced that due to his actions Dark Usagi had been KICKED OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT!!! Furious at this, their crew stormed off vowing to gain revenge over this injustice!
-For the half time show, KITANA VERA made her surprise return to FUW and hosted a tattoo contest! After the winner was announced, SOCAL CRAZY hit the ring and berated Kitana. DAMON DIVINE hit the ring and tried to break it up. SoCal Crazy hit a big move on Kitana and headed for the hills as Damon went after him. Damon and Jon Allen checked on Kitana Vera as she was helped to the back.
-Up next was the TRIPLE THREAT MATCH for the Nug Life Championship! Rasta made his entrance to the ring, followed by Matt Twizted, whose title had been stolen by the Massive MALDECIDO. MALDECIDO then made his way to the ring in new gear with the championship belt sporting a HUGE bite mark, as Maldecido had apparently attempted to literally EAT the Nug Life Championship while it had been in his capture! This match was a crazy encounter, as Rasta and Matt would at times attempt to team up on Maldecido to combat his size and strength advantage. With things getting out of hand with all sides starting to take liberties with the rules, the announcer asked if the fans wanted this to be a hardcore match. After a huge and definitive “YES,” this match was now OFFICIALLY a hardcore match! Chairs, a kendo stick, and other kinds of no holds barred attacks ensued. Matt Twizted eventually won the match to retain his title once more, but Maldacido fled with the Nug Life Championship belt yet again!
-DAMON DIVINE entered the ring to a big reaction for his long awaited rematch with SOCAL CRAZY! Crazy came to the ring acknowledging that, per the stipulations of their agreement, yes RIC DYNAMIC would be banned from ringside. However, he wanted to introduce the fans to his NEW manager for the evening, VIC DYNAMIC! Ric’s brother VIC came to the ring as a chorus of boos erupted at the former tag team champion! The match was underway and was an absolute all out war! Damon fought like a man possessed, wanting revenge against Crazy for having been screwed out of a victory at SkyboxMania, deprived of his rematch at FU II, and incensed at Crazy’s actions against Kitana vera! In a match that went TWENTY FIVE MINUTES and saw Crazy pull out every trick in the book to stop his adversary yet again (including plenty of outside interference from Vic Dynamic), Damon was FINALLY able to gain his revenge and step into the next level of his career defeating the ten year veteran and southern California wrestling icon via pinfall!!! Afterwords, a FURIOUS SoCal Crazy went ballistic, dragging announcer Jon Allen into the ring and beating him senseless, including repeatedly whipping him in the groin with his belt!
-It was finally time for the main event; for the first time ever, JACOB “THE RIOT” DIEZ would do battle with the fifteen year veteran and New Age Punisher, B-BOY! Jacob came to the ring in his usual cocky fashion, with a phone in hand. On the phone was his girlfriend and valet, LIZZY SUNSHINE! Jacob got on a mic and told the crowd that he didn’t believe B-Boy was even going to show because he was scared, however, B-Boy’s all too familiar music started playing, and out came B-Boy to a HUGE pop! The match was just as intense and full of thrills as anyone could have imagined, with both athletes pulling out every technique in their respective arsenals to put the other away. The crowd eventually became very divided, respecting both wrestler for the historic display they were putting on. Despite what looked like it was going to be a changing of the guard with Jacob picking up the huge upset victory, B-Boy fought back seemingly out of nowhere to put away the leader of the Hippie Commune with the Delikado Driver and gain a pinfall victory! Afterwards, fans stood and applauded for an iconic moment as B-Boy and Jacob shook hands in a display of mutual respect.
Announcer “The” Jon Allen thanked the fans for coming to what was an incredible and historic night, and reminded them that FUW would be back on August 9th when they would crown the very first Fans United Wrestling Heavyweight Champion at “4 The Gold!”
So quick recap:
Joey “The Bone” Barone def Eli Everfly
KRAY Z KLOWN & SCORPIO def EXTREME PARKA and VENOM
CHRIS “MERICA” DISNEY def Ali Hussen
DARK USAGI (w/ANTHONY IDOL and manager SUSUKE SAITO) def Shady
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH for the Nug Life Championship:
Matt Twizted def Maldacido & Rasta Lion to retain the championship
“The Nomad” Damon Divine def SoCal Crazy
“The New Age Punisher” BBOY def Jacob “The Riot” Diez (w/Lizzie Sunshine)
Credit: FUW’s Jon Allen