By Silverback, PWG Staff Writer
EUREKA, California – Despite the title of the show being “Are You Adequately Prepared To Rock?”, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com) seemed to catch many fans off guard, with the show literally rocking their socks off, overflowing the Lost & Found at the Westside Jewish Community Center! To make up for this grievous loss of stockings by wrestling fans, PWG proudly presents “An Inch Longer Than Average!” Saturday, November 15, 2003 at the WJCC!PWG’s fifth event will feature:
Jardi Frantz vs. MDogg 20
An injury sidelined Jardi Frantz from PWG’s debut show, but due to his regime of rehabilatative herbal drugs, Frantz was able to return much faster than even he previously thought! When MDogg 20 learned of Jardi’s return to the ring, he asked his commanding officer in the Straight Edge/KISS Army to send him on a mission to California with the purpose of showing that medicinal herbal substances have no place in the medical or wrestling community! Both men like to get high, but whose ideals will prevail? The fate of millions of Herbal Medicine Supporters and Painted Face KISS Privates rides on this match alone!
X-Foundation (Scott Lost & Funky Billy Kim) vs. Team Chismo (Disco Machine & Excalibur)
At PWG’s “Bad Ass Mother 3000,” Joey Ryan and Super Dragon met in a brutal semi-final match that saw Joey Ryan advance to the finals of the BAM3k, only to lose to PWG Champion Frankie Kazarian. At “Are You Adequately Prepared To Rock?” Disco Machine and Excalibur helped Super Dragon extract his revenge on Joey Ryan, costing him the Number 1 Contendership to the PWG Championship. Sweet, sweet revenge, like nectar. The nectar of revenge only tastes sweet for those who harvest it in the largest quantity, so the X-Foundation has already prepared a large beehive to be at ringside during what they anticipate will be their ultimate triumph over the very mischievous and very allergic to bee’s Team Chismo! Peligro Abejas!
Hardkore Kidd vs. Samoa Joe
At PWG’s “Bad Ass Mother 3000,” Hardkore Kidd and PWG Commissioner Paul T were involved in a verbal confrontation backstage. These two men have not seen eye to eye, literally, for years, and figuratively for over a year now, so it’s no surprise that Hardkore Kidd vowed to “further flatten the face” of anyone related to Paul T, while in Japan with ZERO-ONE. Already preparing for the worst, Paul T has acquired the services of the most dangerous man in Independent Wrestling, Samoa Joe, to teach Hardkore Kidd a lesson as soon as he gets back. Who will get the worst out of this terrible feud, Hardkore Kidd, or Grandmama T?!
Guerrilla Warfare Match: Joey Ryan vs. Super Dragon
The sweet, sweet nectar of revenge tastes the sweetest to he who serves the nectar of revenge on the biggest piece of toast one can find. In this case, the toast is represented by chairs, tables, and possibly ladders, and the nectar of revenge is represented by the blood which each competitor is out for! Analytical writing homework aside, the PWG cofounders have been at each other’s throats since day one, and now the boiling pot of revenge-nectar is set it boil over into a wild brawl orchestrated by Commissioner Paul T! No Disqualifications, No Count Outs, Falls Count Anywhere in the building, the bitter nectar harvesting bees will be buzzing, but who will get stung?! QUE LASTIMA!
Adam Pearce vs. Colt Cabana
Despite winning the Number 1 Contenders Match at “Are You Adequately Prepared To Rock?” Adam Pearce will not be given a title shot this time around, based on a ruling by Commissioner Paul T. When reached for comment, Paul T said “There’s only room for one sly fox in PWG, and be assured that that sly fox is Yellow.” What we think the Commissioner meant to say was that because Adam Pearce won the Number 1 Contenders Match under less than fair circumstances, he will not be granted a title shot at “An Inch Longer Than Average!” Predictably, Pearce was enraged by this prospect, so Paul T stated that he’s not a fighter, but if that’s what Pearce is looking for, he’s got it! Midwest Superstar Colt Cabana makes his return to PWG to take on his one time partner for the first time ever! Paul T was later spotted backstage dumping a mix of granulated sugar and motor oil into Pearce’s gym bag.
PWG Championship Match: “The Future” Frankie Kazarian (c) vs. American Dragon
Overcoming long odds is what the title reign of Frankie Kazarian is all about, beating two of the top independent wrestlers on the planet, AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels, to retain his title at “Are You Adequately Prepared To Rock?” Despite threatening phone calls by Vegas oddsmakers, Paul T is committed to bringing in top challengers for the PWG title, and American Dragon is no exception! Hot off a tour of the UK and Europe (Where Casino Gambling is a much more up scale experience compared to the experience in America. I mean, who would you rather have take your money? John Two-Feathers or some suave Italian fellow?) American Dragon is returning to Southern California with one goal in mind, to walk away as PWG Champion! He has the ability to do it, but does Kazarian have the heart to overcome yet another seemingly insurmountable challenge?
“An Inch Longer Than Average!” takes place Saturday, November 15, 2003, at the Westside Jewish Community Center, at 8:00PM. The Westside Jewish Community Center is located at 5870 Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036. Tickets are $18, available online at http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com, at the Alternative Wrestling Shop, or by mail (PWG Tickets, PO Box 1527, Temple City, CA 91780. Certified checks or money orders only, please.) For more information, please visit http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org.