I was going to use this column to explain what happened later on that night and how it went from bad to worse but, after having a few days to think about it, as well as reading Excalibur’s and Paul T’s own editorials, I think at this point no one really cares. What does it matter NOW? It’s done. Shit got fucked up beyond belief and yes, I was the one responsible for it. End of story.
To those thinking that I’m trying to pass the buck or blame anyone aside from myself for the “Wrestling Roots ’02” disaster, please remember what I said in the last column: I FUCKED THIS NIGHT UP! ME! All decisions that were made that night were ultimately mine and mine alone. I’m not sure why that’s so difficult for some of you to understand. I’m not trying to garner sympathy. I’m not looking for support. I’m not trying to over-explain everything. I’m not trying to defend anything. Believe me, NONE OF YOU possess the ability to make me feel any worse than I already do. Those who know me best also know that I take all of this VERY personally and that I AM going to be making amends for this ENTIRE scenario. With these columns, I was simply trying to give all of you a brief insight into how chaotic things in this business can sometimes get, especially when you’re new, in over your head, and, in Bob Barnett’s words, running things as a 1-man show. Had I been ABLE to pull it off, you never would’ve known how close it was to failing. However, having NOT pulled it off, now you know why it did.
I want to thank the folks who HAVE come to my defense (some of whom were the last people in the world I would’ve expected) in validating how crazy things can get at the last minute. While I still have soooo much to learn, it’s nice to know that shit like this DOES happen from time to time and, as long as one can weather the storm that follows, one can survive. And speaking of survival…
What now?
Wow. There’s a question I truly do NOT know the answer to. I’m sorry.
At this moment, it’s just going to be about settling debts and taking care of all those loose ends. That includes getting people paid, forming apologies, refunding tickets, and rebuilding bridges (and this is key here) WHETHER WE GO ON OR NOT. No matter what decision is made, the rebuilding of relationships, at the very least, HAS to happen. If anything, just to give proper closure to this entire scenario. The process has already begun and will probably continue for the next week or so, until I’ve gotten to everyone.
And then?
Whew. Again, I don’t know. For as many pieces of hate mail as I’ve received, I’ve received just as much support, which has actually shocked me. For as many wrestlers whom I’ve spoken to who have apprehensions about going on, two more are willing to step up and take their places. Hell, even New Jack called me on the night of the show and offered to help out however he could, even if it’s just to talk. Sabu is still in, too. Jerry Lynn, as well. Not so much the CZW guys anymore, though, which is unfortunate, but I can’t blame them. Paul T, Nosawa, Masada, and Arkangel are probably out, too, much to my sorrow and chagrin. They’re professionals, though, and they were treated unprofessionally. Who can blame them? If I’m lucky, I can win them back. It won’t be easy, though. I’m not even gonna BEGIN to get into the problems re: Japan, which, as I said before, are probably unsalvageable, although I’ve been told otherwise.
In the greater scheme of things, much worse has happened to other companies that were eventually overcome. Messiah told me a story about a CZW show that went through two venue changes in one day, only to wind up getting cancelled. Shit happens, it’s fucked up, you live, you learn, and you move on. Can this be one of those scenarios? Absolutely. Will it? Again, I’m sorry but I don’t know.
It’s a shitty answer, I know, but it’s all I can give right now. Like being unsure of transferring the show to the Anaheim Marketplace and just waiting for fate to decide if it was meant to be, maybe that’s what I’m doing right now. Waiting to see what happens.
Interestingly enough, other options have presented themselves in the past few days, if anything, BECAUSE of all of this. Offers wanting to help, wanting to buy the company, wanting to offer their services, etc. and I thank all of you BUT, again, I just don’t know. I’m not sure I’m ready to throw the towel in just yet. Then again…
Speaking of Messiah (well, I was three paragraphs ago)…
I recently did an interview with a Netherlands website that sought to inquire about my relationship to Messiah. It asked about the time, after his attack, when I seriously considered shutting down EPIC because of everything that had happened to him. I would like to reiterate some of those thoughts here, if possible, because they lead to something.
Messiah, you are, without a doubt, one of the strongest people I’ve ever had the privilege to know. My life has been a better experience because of your involvement in it. I remember telling you so long ago that I felt (and still do feel) 100% responsible for your attack. If EPIC hadn’t been around, New Jack wouldn’t have made the reason behind your firing from XPW so public. It was EPIC that started the ball rolling right at you and the collision that occurred afterwards was because of EPIC, as well. You’ve been to my house. You’ve played with my kids. You had my back this entire time and yet, this happens. What was supposed to be your greatest moment wound up being nothing more than a joke. I am so unbelievably sorry about all of this. Sorry isn’t a big enough word, actually, and I know that I will never be able to make it up to you, no matter how hard I try.
While a lot of that can be said about the other guys in EPIC, as well, the night of the 17th was supposed to be about him. And the 17th never happened.
In closing…
I wish I had some clever way to end this column but I don’t. I’m tired, frazzled, stressed, and overwhelmed. I have a million things to do and a number of deadlines to meet. People are waiting and I need to be there for them…this time.
And I’m going to do just that. Thank you for your time.
-Gary Yap
