Taking a look at Bar Wrestling 14: Pinkerton from July 14th, 2018. Featuring Scorpio Sky vs. Shane Strickland, Brody King, Peter Avalon, Kikutaro, Joey Ryan teaming with Colt Cabana, and more.
The crowd is noticeably smaller than usual. Bar was using Championship Wrestling From Hollywood’s ring for this event, which is smaller than the EWF ring that they usually rent from Jesse Hernandez. Christian Cole and Louden Noxious are on commentary. I’m not a fan of Louden, he’s awful, but I was glad that Kevin Condron wasn’t on commentary. He’s awful.
Scorpio Sky vs. Shane Strickland
Lots of “SCU” chants for Scorpio Sky here. The match started out with some really nice chain wrestling. Strickland would slow things down after the opening sequence and worked over Sky. Sky would mount a comeback and got some moves in. The match would even out with both guys exchanging some stiff strikes, and the match would go back-and-forth as it went on. Both guys would brawl on the outside where Strickland hit a double stomp off the apron onto Sky as he sat in a chair. It was pretty gross seeing them crawling on the floor during this match. It looked dirty as fuck.
Back inside the ring, Sky would bring the chair inside with him. Strickland would get the upper hand and went for a Top Rope Double Stomp on Sky. Sky would get out of the way, threw a chair in Strickland’s face, and followed it up with a Big Fat Kill/Ace Of Spades combo. This was a really good opener. Both guys had a pretty good performance, and the match had some nice spots throughout it. SCU!
The Killer Baes (Heather Monroe & Laura James) vs. Kiera Hogan & Priscilla Kelly
This wasn’t good. Heather Monroe had a good performance, but that’s the best thing I could say about the in-ring work in this match. Kiera delivered some arm drags on Laura, and Laura looked as if she didn’t know how to take them. Priscilla and Laura licked each other in the middle of the match. After that, Priscilla Kelly rubbed her crotch and chopped Laura. On commentary, Christian Cole and Louden Noxious implied that they were both aroused. Good to see women’s wrestling being treated seriously in 2018.
The Baes would get the win after hitting a Doomsday Device on Kiera. I was glad when this was over. It was sloppy and wasn’t structured well.
Brody King vs. AR Fox
This started out as you’d expect. AR Fox used his speed advantage, and Brody used his size and strength advantage. The opening sequence seemed weird. Either there was a miscommunication or the stuff they went for seemed like a better idea in theory. Brody had a really good performance and held things together it seemed. His running cannonball splash as AR was laying across the middle rope was really cool.
Brody would get the win after hitting a Samoan Driver. Like I said, he had a really good performance in this match. I really wasn’t blown away by AR Fox. He hit some decent spots, but his overall performance wasn’t that good. This match wasn’t bad, but it didn’t seem to flow well.
The Rocknes Monsters (Kevin Martenson & Johnny Yuma), Karl Fredericks, and Killer Kross vs. Reno Scum (Adam Thornstowe & Luster the Legend), Eric Watts and Matt “Grimm” Basso
Grimm/Basso (his name is listed as Matt Basso on Highspots and Cagematch, but he’s called Grimm here) is an Australian who does a Viking gimmick. He had a fun sequence with Karl Fredericks to start the match off. The fans chanted “How You Doin’” at him because he looked like Big Cass. Watts and Kross would end up brawling outside of the ring, and it led to everyone in the match brawling in the crowd. During this, Fredericks and Grimm/Basso had a beer at the bar before they brawled again. The crowd brawling was really hard to follow. The action was happening all over the place, and the camera crew had a hard time keeping up. This might’ve been a fun match to witness in person, but it didn’t come across well on film.
The match would head back into the ring where everyone proceeded to do moves. Thornstowe and Martenson would do a pair of dives, and Watts Chokeslammed Yuma from the middle rope and onto the other workers on the floor. Kross and Watts then had a sequence during the closing moments of the match. Kross’ team would win after he hit Watts with a Saito Suplex, followed by a Swanton Bomb from Karl Fredericks. This wasn’t bad, but the crowd brawling made this match hard to rate.
Peter Avalon vs. Dan Barry vs. Kikutaro vs. Joey Janela
The match started out with Kikutaro touching everyone’s dicks. There was more comedy as the match went on. Eventually, the match turned serious for a bit, and Dan Barry hit some cool spots. The match would revert back to comedy again when Kikutaro was in control. He would end up assaulting the dicks of each man. This caused the other three workers to go after Kikutaro. After beating up on Kikutaro, all three guys went after each other, but eventually collapsed after the ball pain they suffered from thanks to Kikutaro became too much for them to tolerate. I can’t believe I just wrote this paragraph.
The finishing sequence saw a cluster of spots and moves that ended with Peter Avalon hitting the Marti-knees from the second rope on Joey Janela to score the pinfall victory. This was a fun match. Kikutaro was hilarious as usual, Peter had a solid performance. Dan Barry was pretty fun in this. Joey Janela, well, he was in the match. That’s the best I can say about him here. He’s really boring when he’s not taking stupid bumps or mutilating himself.
Colt Cabana & Joey Ryan vs. Luchasaurus & Super Panda
As the match began, Joey was about to tell Super Panda to touch his dick. Colt Cabana, doing God’s work, called out Joey for having the same tired schtick in every match. After he was tagging in, Cabana busted an Amy Schumer and stole Joey’s schtick. He asked Panda to touch his dick. Unlike Joey, Panda did damage to Cabana’s dick when he grabbed it. I also can’t believe I wrote that too.
Panda and Luchasaurus had a good showcase here and hit several double-team moves throughout the match. They worked a more serious style, while Cabana and Joey did comedy. Joey did his usual dick stuff, and Cabana did his usual spots. Cabana would also use Joey’s dick as a weapon during the match. The finish was dumb, as Joey and Cabana put Panda on Luchasaurus for a Powerbomb, and Luchasaurus just held him there. Joey would then go on the middle rope and hit his dick move on Panda as he was being held up by Luchasaurus. Cabana would then hit Panda with a top rope splash for the win. This match was what it was.
Jeff Cobb vs. Eli Drake
Before the match, Eli Drake grabbed the mic. Time for the Eli Drake Drinking Game. Here are the rules:
- Take a shot every time Eli Drake starts off by saying “Lemme talk to ya.”
- Take a shot every time he says “dummy.”
- If he does his “E-LI-DRAKE” line where he over-enunciates his name, take two shots.
- Chug the bottle when he ends with “that is just a fact of life.”
I wrote this before in another review, but I have to write this again: People say Eli Drake is good at promos, but this shit was bad. It felt like a drawn-out amateur stand-up comedy set.
He does this promo about what he hates about wrestling. The fans then chanted “wrap it up.” He called Cobb a “bargain-basement Samoa Joe” during his promo before he closed with his catchphrase. Chug the bottle.
After the ring introductions, Cobb grabbed the mic. Before he could talk, the fans pointed at a fan at ringside and chanted “HE’S YOUR SON!” As he tried to talk, Eli grabbed the mic from him and did the “you know what I hate about wrestling?” You know what I hate about wrestling? Hacky workers like Eli Drake who put on boring matches and cut shitty, unfunny promos. Cobb got the mic again, talked for a bit, and was cut off again by Eli Drake, who talked more. There were less than five minutes left on the video at this point.
Thankfully, Cobb would grab Eli as he was talking to start the match. Eli would get control early and worked over Cobb for some heat. Cobb then countered a Double Axe-Handle from the middle rope into a belly-to-belly suplex. He proceeded to throw Eli around and hit a nice standing moonsault. Eli would mount a brief comeback before Cobb countered an Air Raid Crash attempt. Jeff Cobb would get the win after moving out of the way of a knee drop, followed by a pin. What a lackluster match. This should not have been the main event.
The main event and four corners match were the best on the show. The eight-man tag was also a fun watch, but it was hard to rate the quality since most of the action was hard to see during the crowd brawling. Joey/Cabana vs. Panda/Luchasaurus also had some funny moments and was decent. The main event was a huge waste of time. If you’re watching the show, I suggest skipping that. I mean, Jeff Cobb is great, but the main event was extremely lackluster. Everything else ranged from bad to average.