Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of praise for my reviews. I’ve been hearing people say that they’re funny, insightful, and entertaining. On this set of reviews, I’m going to do the complete opposite of my past reviews. No funny videos, no outlandish jokes, just plain old honesty with no comedic intent. Plus I talk briefly about the greatness of the Final Deletion. Onto the shows.
We start off with Joe Galli and Todd Keneley giving an update on Peter Avalon after getting knocked out by Scorpio Sky. They say Peter has a concussion and won’t be wrestling for awhile. Not a bad way to start the show, but it would’ve been better if this were done after the opening credits and went right to the match.
The Friendship Express (The Hobo & Jervis Cottonbelly) vs. Manny Castillo & Damien Smith
The champions (the Friendship Express) were facing two jobbers for no reason. This was a pretty pointless match. Lots of awful, unfunny comedy here. Todd Keneley made a 12 year old Cheppelle’s Show reference. The audio cut out during the finishing sequence. This didn’t just happen on the FITE app, but on TV as well. The production crew at CWFH is doing great work. The Hobo and Jervis won after doing stupid, basic shit followed by Jervis bunny hopping around the ring like a retard into a double stomp. Man this sucked, and the Friendship Express are officially the worst thing in pro wrestling right now.
Post match shenanigans: no audio for the post match interview, as the Friendship Express were beaten up by the Classic Connection. There’s no audio in the Larry King commercial either.
Jarek 1:20 vs. Mike Camden
I recently heard our good friends (and that one douchebag SoCal Wrestling Hipster Ed Alexander) The Wrestling Guy Podcast conduct an interview with Mike Camden this week and he talked about this match. When I heard it the guy talking, it made me realize why nobody in this territory is lacking in stars and intriguing matches. In this interview, Camden talks about caring more about the storyline instead of doing something cool to get him the win. His logic was simply to “get the storyline over” and not worry about trying to get himself a rub. I know this dude isn’t an experienced veteran by any means and I’m “just some writer who has never been in a pro wrestling match before,” but even the biggest wrestling layman would tell you how stupid that “logic” is.
So they have a basic match. They do ok shit, and eventually James Morgan came out to distract Jarek 1:20 to continue the boring feud between him and Tyler Bateman. After this, Camden got the win with a backslide pin. Nothing exciting. Instead of having Camden setup something that would’ve gotten him over while helping progress the storyline, his character is made to look even more useless, and Jarek 1:20 has now a disputed loss against a babyface jobber. This is just bad booking and bad thinking on everyone’s part. Hey Mike, just because you do something cool to get a victory doesn’t mean you’re taking away from a storyline.
Post match shenanigans: we get another major mistake here. Instead of Morgan doing something to put Camden over, or even maybe creating something to start a Jarek 1:20 vs. Camden storyline, James Morgan just stood tall alone. It’s almost as if this company has no idea on how to create or build up new stars.
Johnny Yuma vs. Espiritu
I thought Espiritu was pretty solid in this. The match was good when he was on offense, but Yuma was petty boring when he was in control of the match. Espiritu got the win after hitting an Ace Crusher with Yuma’s face landing on Espiritu’s knees on the way down. Again, good when Espiritu was on offense, as he was entertaining. Yuma, as mentioned, was boring.
Big Duke vs. Devin Sparks (w/ Young Boys)
This was a pretty basic match. Nothing really exciting. Sparks did a bunch of hellish antics and crowd work while working over Duke. Duke eventually made a comeback after he ripped off Sparks’ jacket and hit some moves that the crowd seemed dead for. They had a finishing exchange that seemed pretty sloppy, including a powerbomb attempt where Sparks’ asscrack was shown after Duke struggled to get him up. Duke won with a clothesline. Nothing impressive here to end this episode.
Samara vs. Ashley Grace
I thought Samara had a solid performance. This match wasn’t the worst match, but it wasn’t that great. It was just sorta boring. Samara was also pretty attractive. Aside from that, there’s not much to say about the match. Ashley Grace won by making Samara tap to the Rings Of Saturn.
Julius Coleman vs. Manny Castillo
This was a good match between these guys. Both had a solid performance and had a fun match with a good pace. They didn’t bore the crowd early on like every other match in this promotion, and the finishing sequence was pretty neat. Coleman got the win in a pretty solid match.
Tyler Bateman (w/ Jarek 1:20) vs. Pinky
So after Pinky got squashed by JR Kratos, he faces the UWN Television Champion. Not only did he face the UWN Television Champion, he got offense in on him. This really did no favors for Bateman, and this being a heel vs. heel match wasn’t going to get Pinky fans. This was an alright match, but the booking of this was bad.
Post match shenanigans: Tyler Bateman gets on the mic and cuts a promo on James Morgan. He sang some lines from the song “Time Is On My Side” and that was it.
Tito Escondidio vs. Will Cuevas
The first row of seats is now covered by a black tarp or something. It looks hilariously bad. Cuevas was pretty impressive early on in the match, getting in some nice offense early on. Tito hit a really cool looking Pumphandle Half-Nelson Driver on Cuevas after countering a Tornado Kick as well as a nice Dragon Suplex before getting the win with a Fireman’s Carry Gutbuster. This was a good match that would’ve been better in front of a crowd that didn’t suck.
Post match shenanigans: Grant interviews Tito, who calls out Alexander Hammerstone. Good stuff here.
Red Carpet Rumble Four-Way Qualifier Match: Drew Gulak & Timothy Thatcher vs. The Pac 3 (Dick Mayer & Dan Joseph)
This company brought in Timothy Thatcher and Drew Gulak, two highly praised wrestlers that people would actually pay to see perform, to lose to guys working a shitty comedy gimmick. Ugh. Gulak and Thatcher had good performances, but this shit was boring and not compelling. There were stupid shenanigans with the annoying coach guy and that Troy douche. Mayer got the win after pinning Gulak with a German Suplex.
These shows were boring for the most part. Todd Keneley is really unfunny. That’s pretty much it.
On that note, I suggest everyone watch The Final Deletion. It’s fucking wonderful and a true modern wrestling masterpiece. The way the wrestling was filmed in this is how Lucha Underground should be filming their matches. I have to give props to TNA for doing something that was so entertaining, that it boosted their ratings and got people talking.