Fit Pit Pro Wrestling’s ”Run Rookie Run,” July 18th, 2010
Chatsworth, CA
Attendance: 80
The Fit Pit Pro Wrestling School is located in an industrial park in beautiful Chatsworth, CA. The complex itself is kind of impressive, if not entirely odd for a pro wrestling event (you walk through a series of hallways and past the locker room to reach the main floor, where a lowered pro wrestling ring sits behind rows of professional gym equipment (and just before the row of punching bags)), but everything about Fit Pit Pro Wrestling is a little bit odd. Before the show, The Hobo and his valet, (later revealed to be) Emily, make their way through the crowd with a cardboard sign and a literal hat in hand, and you honestly can’t help but fall in love with the guy; he’s a true pro wrestling character.
Fifteen minutes later, the show opens with eight guys walking to the ring; no music, no fanfare. Of the eight, I recognize four (Jarek Matthews, Big E. Biggz, Omar “Slam” Duncan and “Fanboy” Daniel Murphy). The eight guys just kind of pace the ring, and I’m not sure if they’re lost or I am, but eventually they’re addressed by a guy calling himself “The Grand Puba,” who is accompanied by Lizzy Valentine.
The Puba goes on (and on) about opportunities and how many times they knock, and ‘hey, check out this ridiculously oversized box placed conveniently behind me,’ and so on and so forth. And he eventually, and mercifully, opens the box, with the help of Lizzy Valentine, to reveal… absolutely nothing (because dragging this segment out further is exactly what I was hoping would happen)!
And after more talking, and a ‘mysterious’ knock, the Puba opens the box again to reveal GQ Money, the owner and operator of Fit Pit Pro Wrestling and the Fit Pit Pro Wrestling School, as the mastermind behind Project MFC: Codename IFI (for more info on Project MFC, go to the forums). And now I will take an aside:
GQ Money, of XPW/WSX fame, is previously known to me as quite possibly the worst ring announcer in the history of professional wrestling and an unrelenting, and entirely shameless, self-promoter. And at this point, I (desperately) want to go home.
So GQ grabs the mic, and then I groan audibly anticipating another overly long promo about opportunities and the like, and then something truly interesting happens: GQ Money can talk (not just yell over excitedly at an unenthusiastic but stylish crowd, but talk), and in a way that very few wrestlers in southern California are capable of (think Excalibur without the snark). And, for the first time, I’m entirely happy to be there.
So GQ Money puts over Matthews, Biggz, Duncan and Fanboy, dismisses two of the wrestlers (one goes unnamed, the other goes by Spector), better luck next time, and the last two men are revealed to be a ring announcer and a referee (a quick note: I’m sure the ring announcer, who joined Kriss Kloss at the announcing table for some live play-by-play, was fantastic, a true gem, but I wouldn’t know: the sound system (like nearly all indy shows) was horrendous, and, to top it all off, somebody thought it’d be a great idea to play music over the play-by-play guys, and, oh yeah, the two commentators shared the one microphone by passing it back-and-forth to each other—a surefire way to maintain enthusiasm and excitement).
RESULTS
1. Jarek Matthews d. Big E. Biggz
These two never clicked, but the match was mercifully short.
2. Omar “Slam” Duncan d. “Fanboy” Daniel Murphy
A solid, and mostly entertaining match. Both Duncan and Murphy were over with the crowd, even if the match basically just sat there between “Star Wars” highspots.
After the opening two matches, GQ Money returned to the ring and laid out the principles behind Project MFC (though, a lot is still unclear, like whether this is a promotion or a stable or something entirely different).
GQ told the audience that Project MFC was about finding the best talent that SoCal has to offer (from wrestlers to ring announcers), and he revealed the following four guidelines:
1. Kayfabe means kayfabe,
2. Sacrifice is required to achieve one’s goals,
3. Open-mindedness is a must, and
4. Exclusivity is key.
GQ told the winning wrestlers that he would be in contact, and Project MFC was not mentioned again.
3. The Hobo d. Fern Owens
I’ve already confessed my love for The Hobo, and the match starts when a mystery man, Fern Owens, captures Hobo’s valet, Emily, at ringside. The Fit Pit Pro Wrestling website later makes mention of something about long-lost brothers and a feud, but none of that came out during the show (this match, in particular, would have been helped by the live play-by-play).
An intense, but overly long brawl that attempts to answer the question: if a wrestling match goes all over the building (and then outside) and nobody bothers to follow, did the match actually happen? But The Hobo’s commitment to his character (like many of the Fit Pit rookies) helps me overlook almost anything negative about the match.
And here’s where things get ugly.
4. Kooba Castro and Carnicero go to a no contest.
It starts with a man who looks remarkably like GQ Money in a Santo mask challenging Kooba Castro (who has been saddled with one of the worst gimmicks in southern California. Really, Cuba? All kinds of terrible shit happening in the world, and you go Cuba?
I dunno, maybe that kind of thing flies in south Florida, but a Fidel Castro gimmick in southern California is about as interesting as it is relevant in 2010. The only bright side is the guy is under a mask, and one hopes he’ll be repackaged before too long).
The match that follows is the only actively bad one of the night, and was made worse by a poorly executed and overly silly angle, where Kooba Castro lights a pillow case on fire and Carnicero pretends to die, and then the crowd is forced to watch a mock funeral where everyone involved pretends like it’s the absolutely most interesting thing they’ve ever been a part of.
5. The Butcher d. Kooba Castro
A step up from the last match, but not by much. At this point, I’m mostly happy they’re actually wrestling again and nobody pretends to die.
Here’s what I don’t get, though, the man (Kooba Castro) MURDERS somebody (he does literal murder at your show), and then he gets squashed in a nothing match by some dude named The Butcher (and not like Abdullah the, but like a dude who sells my lunch meat). Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste, but the whole sequence of events left me baffled.
6. Markus Riot d. Human Tornado
Billed as a “Superstar Spotlight Showcase,” Riot (known elsewhere as Jacob Diez) goes over the Human Tornado, after Lizzy Valentine interferes.
This match was seemingly hurt by the events of the previous two matches, but Human Tornado is one of the best entertainers in southern California and Riot has improved leaps and bounds since I’ve seen him last (despite the fact that he starting to look dangerously like an unmasked Super Boy in the fitness department).
Before the match, it was announced that the winner would receive Lizzy Valentine’s managerial services in Fit Pit Pro Wrestling. The match ends, suddenly, after Valentine inexplicably rushes the ring to low blow Tornado, distracting him long enough to give Riot the rub.
Okay, now here’s where two rookies save the entire the show.
7. Mario Banks d. Hanes Classic
Mario Banks comes to the ring and runs down his feud with Hanes Classic (his major complaint can be seen at the makemeaprowrestler.com blog). Hanes Classic (whose entire character seems to be based on a gimmicked cock and a pair of briefs) hands out lotion and tissues on his way to the ring. I’m not a fan of the video, or Classic’s intentionally “edgy” moveset (his supposedly “edgy” character work is pretty vanilla, and comes off as mostly bland and almost completely rehashed), but his entrance was nothing short of awesome.
Easily, my favorite match of the night, and the best possible advertisement for the Fit Pit Pro Wrestling School and their unique brand of training.
Like The Hobo match, this one goes on for entirely too long, but (again like The Hobo match) these guys almost completely embody their characters. In a typical rookie match you’d expect to see– at some points, if not all– a rookie’s face go entirely blank. (This is the point where he’s almost completely lost, or even just overwhelmed,) and this problem is only made worse when spots are blown.
Mario Banks and Hanes Classic (like The Hobo) blew a lot spots. And instead of letting this bring the match to a halt, the Fit Pit guys relied on their character work to keep the match moving forward. To be a year in and to be so entirely confident in the ring, is really something special. (And it indicates that somebody is doing something right over at the Fit Pit Pro Wrestling School.)
Banks wins, and becomes the number one contender to the Fit Pit Pro Wrestling Championship.
8. AC Spaide d. “Brawlin’” Bo Cooper by disqualification. “Brawlin'” Bo Cooper retains the Fit Pit Pro Wrestling Championship.
By all accounts, this match promised to be a slaughter, but Bo gave the rookie a surprising amount of offense (even giving up a three-count while the ref was down).
The end came (almost out of nowhere) when Bo chokeslammed Spaide to the outside of the ring, and through a table, for a DQ.
It took Mario Banks far, far more to put away Hanes Classic than it did for the much younger, and much smaller, Spaide to put Cooper down for the three count. Clumsy booking, and an odd way to end a show that was dangerously close to winning me over.
Pros: the students. If eligible, there’s a solid case to be made for Mario Banks and The Hobo as rookie of the year contenders. And I’m excited to see these guys branch out and hopefully continue to improve as they move into their ‘sophomore’ years.
Cons: overly silly “sports entertainment” booking that truly made my head hurt. If you’re looking for an alternative to the WWE or TNA, then Fit Pit Pro Wrestling is not the place to start.
Bottom line, these shows are designed to showcase the new talent coming out of the Fit Pit Pro Wrestling School, and in that way they more than succeed. Even if Fit Pit Pro Wrestling might not be tailored to your particular taste (and it certainly wasn’t mine), it’s absolutely an alternative to your average SoCal show, and the rookies alone are worth the price of admission.
[NOTE: To get another perspective on the show, I hope to interview both GQ Money and one of his students in the upcoming weeks. Stay tuned for updates.]
For more info on Fit Pit Pro Wrestling, and a video recap of this show, check out makemeaprowrestler.com.
-Adair Cole,
adair@socaluncensored.com
