By The No-Holds Bard
Saturday, October 14, 2006
My apologies for being late on putting this up, but I hope it’s still relevant enough to take a gander at.
It was a cool night in Newhall as the fans began arriving late for this month’s Battle Ground Pro show at the American Legion Hall. It was lined up to be an awesome show, and the fans knew it. Coming off a superb show last month it would have been pretty difficult to pull off something that could match—or even surpass—anything the Newhall fans had seen last month. But they did. Combining several aspects of professional wrestling, BiG Pro showcases lucha libre, technical mat wrestling, comedy matches, violent brawls, hardcore madness and anything else you can think of. Tonight was no different as every base was covered to the nth degree. Kicking off the evening, the first match saw “The New York Knockout” Nikki taking on Hook Bomberry. This is the second time in BiG Pro that Nikki has faced a male competitor. She holds her ground very well against them, too. Many people were pulling for her as well, including the whole lot of females in the audience. It’s not every day that a woman in the world gets a chance to beat the shit out of a man and be applauded for it. Nikki was acting on behalf of many women all over the world, but that’s okay, because most of us guys deserve it. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if Nikki knocked me around a bit myself. Anyway… the match began with that classic elbow-collar tie-up with Hook pushing Nikki into the corner, then, with a wristlock he took her to the mat. Nikki escaped, but Hook took her down again face first, this time mounting her back and slapping the back of her head. Nikki rose and reversed the situation as she took down Hook and put her foot on the back of his neck. She hit a dropkick from the top rope then sent Hook into the corner. Charging after him, Nikki was sent face first into the middle turnbuckle after Hook blocked her with a drop-toe hold. The two began exchanging fists, but Hook met her chest with a thunderous chop, followed by a standing dropkick and a snapmare into a headlock. Nikki broke out with a jawbreaker, a mighty elbow, and then a pin attempt. Hook kicked out then delivered another snapmare, but this time kicked her while she lay on her back. Hook stuck his foot on her chest for the cocky pin attempt, but Nikki lifted her shoulder. As she rose the two began exchanging blows once more, but Nikki got the best of Hook this time, nailing an enzeguiri and going for the pin. Hook kicked out, but Nikki wouldn’t let him attempt a comeback. She hit two standing dropkicks, a clothesline off the ropes, and then a FameAsser (made fame-ass by Billy Gunn). She attempted another pin, but Hook kicked out. This time Hook took the offense, slowly attempting a Boston crab. He just had it in when Nikki reversed it into a pin, but Hook rolled her back over again into the crab. She reached the ropes as Hook pulled her up and delivered a sick swinging neckbreaker. Hook went for the pin but Nikki kicked out and Hook got upset about the two-count. Hook picked her up for a body slam and went up top, only Nikki was able to come to and she knocked the rope for Hook to fall crotch-first on the turnbuckle. As the referee attended to Hook, out came Rubi Red from the back. Rubi has a feud with Nikki in New Talent Wrestling (NTW), and so when she entered the ring, the punk rock chick and gave a bulldog to Nikki. Hook took advantage, delivered a Michinoku driver, and that was all she wrote.
Winner: Hook Bomberry defeated “The New York Knockout” Nikki via pinfall.
As Nikki came to the fans gave her a nice applause. To this, ring announcer Ben Tomas introduced Commissioner Jason Bennett, much to the chagrin of the audience. Bennett came out sporting some rather athletic workout pants and a black T-shirt instead of his usual sinister black suit. Of course, Bennett was ready to let the world know that he’d make mince meat out of Foob Dogg, but his microphone went dead. At this the Newhall crowd mocked him. He donned a very, “Ha-ha, real funny” look on his face, but once the microphone picked up power again he wasted no time in lashing back. But of course, he could make fun of Newhall whenever he wants, so instead of wasting his time, he got to the point: Foob Dogg. “The beat-down you’ve all been waiting to see,” he says, “is not gonna happen. I’m not just the commissioner, I’m a fighting machine!” Claiming he was trained by both The Awesome Plague and Crayz, Bennett held up his best Kung Fu pose as the fans laughed heartily. But, as he pointed out, he was still the commissioner and still had to bear any kind of good or bad news regarding the show. So right then and there he announced that the Ballard Brothers couldn’t make it and would not be competing that evening in the second round of the four-way tag team elimination match to crown the first ever Battle Ground Pro Tag Team Champions, but that it didn’t matter anyway because he’d manage Plague and Crayz to the tag titles anyway. At this statement of certainty out came Midnight Dynamite. They think it’s only fair that they be put back into the tournament in place of the Ballard Brothers because they were never actually lost the match last month in the first round of the tag tournament. To clarify, Stepfather led to the advancement of his team by pinning Crayz, not either member of Midnight Dynamite. The only reason Plague and Crayz got a second chance was because Bennett is their manager and he’s the commissioner and he can do whatever the hell he wants. So, out came The Stepfamily to confront Bennett and Dynamite. Stepfather called Dynamite a couple of rugrats on account of how much they cried and whined like babies. Then Red-Headed Stepchild went into this hilarious spiel on how he ate some possum stew the other night and had a midnight run to the outhouse, naming his urgent case of diarrhea Midnight Dynamite. Dynamite was pissed, so they laid a wager out, asking to take on The Stepfamily, not only to defend their pride, but also to take their spot in the finals if they won. Stepfather agreed, and so it was on.
The match began as Dynamite charged The Stepfamily and tore into them like rabid animals. As the dust began to settle it was Charles Mercury with Red-Headed Stepchild. Stepfather was getting upset but the referee wouldn’t let him get in. Of course what an opportune time for Dynamite to double-team Stepchild in the corner. This happened quite a bit. Mercury would tag in Paradise and each would take their turns on Stepchild with a suplex here, an elbow from the top rope there, more double-teaming with chokes on the rope as the ref would be preoccupied with Stepfather. Every chance he got, Stepchild would attempt a tag, but neither Charles Mercury nor Johnny Paradise would let him. It seemed as if we’d soon be seeing Midnight Dynamite taking The Stepfamily’s place in the finals next month. Paradise caught Stepchild in his corner with some chops to the chest and some burrowing shoulder blocks to the gut as Mercury choked him with his foot. Mercury was tagged in and went up top, preparing for a moonsault, but suddenly Stepchild rolled out of the way. The place went wild as Mercury fell to the mat below and Stepchild got the hot tag. Stepfather made his entry with fists a-flyin’. Mercury was able to finally stop Stepfather’s momentum, or so he thought. Dynamite attempted the double-team with an Irish whip against the ropes, but Stepfather came off with a mighty double clothesline, taking out Dynamite in one shot. Charles Mercury, however, was able to gain enough composure to low blow Stepfather, allowing Dynamite the double-team suplex on Stepfather. Mercury went for the pin, but Stepfather kicked out and was able to tag in Stepchild, who hit a DDT on Johnny Paradise. Mercury attacked him and held him from behind as Paradise went for the superkick, but Stepchild ducked and down went Charles Mercury. Stepfather got Paradise out of the way as Stepchild made the pin for the win—and the place came unglued.
Winners: The Stepfamily (The Stepfather and The Red-Headed Stepchild w/Drunk Uncle Ronnie) defeated Midnight Dynamite (Charles Mercury and Johnny Paradise) via pinfall.
The next match immediately began. The undefeated Joey Harder versus newcomer Ray Kejimura. Making an appearance in the audience for this match was none other than Brandon Nitro, the man that Joey Harder decimated last month with unrelenting blows, holds, and chair shots to the left shoulder. Nitro sat front row, right next to me, with a huge plastic cast covering his entire arm. Harder came out to see Nitro sitting there and pointed at him laughing about his arm. Nitro didn’t take lightly to that. The match started with the classic elbow-collar tie-up as Nitro cheered on Kejimura. Kejimura was shoved into the corner, still in the hold. He was able to escape with a snapmare and then caught Harder’s head between his legs, gripping it like a vice. The two men reversed each other’s control quite a bit during the match, and for a moment Harder had the rear mount position locked as it began to look like an amateur wrestling showdown. Harder would throw forearms to Ray’s temple from this position, Ray would apply a wristlock, but Harder would take him back down. Harder came off the ropes with a heavy shoulder block, but Ray came back with the wristlock reverse and hits a neck breaker. A lot of very technical stuff went down, some without me even seeing because of all the reverses and pin attempts. It’s hard to keep one eye on the action and one eye on the notepad. Or else I’d just be trying to write this review with illegible scribbles. Harder was able to take advantage after a while though, every so often taunting his arch nemesis Brandon Nitro in the audience. After a back body drop on Ray, two pin attempts were made, but when he kicked out both times Harder just stomped the shit out of him. He administered a headlock and continued to beat him down. Harder, believing he got the best of Ray Kejimura, showed off in the ring as if he was hot shit. But Hot Shit Harder couldn’t get a pin on Ray. Ray came back with a modified body slam, a standing dropkick, a jawbreaker and a superkick. But this was still not sufficient enough to allow him to pin the undefeated Harder. Then each man went back and forth with the moves; Harder with a neckbreaker, Ray with a face plant, Harder with a half-nelson suplex, Ray with a full-nelson shoulder breaker. Ray gets Harder in a waistlock, and then it’s reversed and reversed again. Without the referee seeing, Harder lifted his leg behind to low blow Ray. However, as Harder relished in the booing of the crowd, Ray regained composure and hit this sick flip piledriver, not dissimilar to the Canadian Destroyer. I could tell it was a bit different, but damn if I could remember how it looked, it happened so fast. But still, Kejimura could not pick up the victory. Harder was able to come back though and hit a nice Celtic Cross on Ray (Finlay’s finisher). Harder got up, looked right at Brandon Nitro, said “fuck you,” and went for the armbar on Ray Kejimura, which was what finally made Nitro submit to Harder in last month’s grueling brawl. Totally enraged that Harder was mocking his arm injury by injuring the arm of someone else, Nitro was set off and dove into the ring and just went straight for Joey Harder. The ref called the match right there, giving the win to Harder for the disqualification.
Winner: Joey Harder defeated Ray Kejimura via disqualification.
Harder wouldn’t let the handicapped Nitro get the best of him so he took off and headed towards the back and left Nitro grimacing in the ring. Nitro got on the microphone and demanded that Harder get his ass back out there. When Nitro made mention of his plans for next month, then Harder finally came back out. Those plans called for an I Quit match, supposedly being the culminating battle. Harder somewhat scoffed at the idea and disregarded Nitro’s anger by walking away to the back again. Nitro was pissed, and he guaranteed Joey Harder that it would be taken to the next level when they battle it out in an I Quit match on November 4 th at the next show.
But then it was time for Commissioner Bennett to have his worst nightmares come true—at least for five minutes: to be squashed by a big Dogg from Guam. A Foob Dogg, actually. If you remember from last month, to recap: Foob Dogg had one last chance to stay in BiG Pro, and he had to defeat “The Professional” Scott Lost, the former BiG Pro Heavyweight Champion, or else he was gone. But Foob wanted more of an incentive. If he won, not only would he get a BiG Pro contract for life, but he’d also get five minutes alone with Bennett in the ring. Well, Foob made it out alive from a great match and took the win over Scott Lost to gain his contract and his five minutes. So out came Bennett with Plague and Crayz at his side to Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around.” Kind of befitting for Bennett; maybe just a little bit. Maybe. Then when Foob Dogg entered the ring Plague and Crayz stood in front of Bennett so Foob wouldn’t get near him. Referee Tony Cutlip threw Plague and Crayz out to the back, explaining, “I know you sign the paychecks and everything,” but that’s how it just had to be. It was a five-minute challenge and there was really no stipulation, just that Foob had his opportunity to put Bennett into the ground. And if Bennett had any ounce of strength in his body he could possibly do the same to Foob. So, Bennett took his strength and ran from Foob. He circled the ring away from Foob and cowered in the corners. Foob told both Bennett, “The five minutes doesn’t start until you hit me first.” So, in essence, Bennett got a free shot, but free shots doing mean anything if you throw a punch like a sissy. So Foob leaned his smirked face out and closed his eyes and pointed at his cheek. Bennett took a deep breath then lunged toward him with blows to the abdomen. One after another he just laid into him. Foob stood upright, opened his eyes and gave Bennett a look of confusion. Bennett ran like hell. He got out of the way and began taunting Foob by acting like an ape. Foob then caught him in an elbow-collar tie-up and shoved him to the mat. Bennett slid out of the ring and ran around in circles on the outside, trying to escape the big bad Dogg. Foob kind of moved around a bit as well, just enough to make Bennett think it was safe to get back in the ring. And when he did, he slowly backed up into Foob who was waiting there for him. Bennett felt the big man behind him and looked like he about pissed himself when he finally turned around to see Foob’s smiling face. The time was running out and Foob had yet to lay a hand on him really, until now. Foob delivered two body slams to Bennett, followed by some falling headbutts. Then Bennett got chopped a few times on the chest and Samoan dropped. As Foob began to pick up the seemingly lifeless Bennett, the commish lifted one arm up into Foob’s crotch, which sent the big man reeling a bit. He began kicking Foob into the corner, then sent him into an Irish whip and returned with a clothesline, sending Foob to the mat. However, this was definitely not enough to keep Foob down, as Foob came back with a clothesline of his own. As he hit the mat Foob began stomping on his boss. He went for the pin, and when the ref got to two, Foob lifted him up. No way, not now… the five minutes wasn’t even up just yet. Foob tossed Bennett into the corner and hit a running body splash. Then Foob let loose with the relentless fists, over and over, everywhere on Bennett’s upper torso. And when someone who got their ass kicked can’t stand up straight, but you still wanna kick their ass, what else is there to do but apply a crossface chicken wing? From that position Foob lifted up Bennett in the air and slammed his lifeless body to the floor. And within the last seconds of the five-minute time limit Foob went for the pin just before the last second was up.
Winner: Foob Dogg defeated Commissioner Jason Bennett in a five-minute challenge match via pinfall.
The crowd went nuts. Commissioner Bennett, with all his scoundrel ways; all of his conniving, cunning, underhandedness and shifty, two-bit deceit, finally got his comeuppance. And as his carcass lay out in the middle of the ring, his minions, Crayz came out with Plague. The Plague came and said, “Bring out your dead,” and Foob delivered Bennett. Not really, but I thought that was funny. Crayz got in the ring and dragged the pitiful Bennett across the ring, then hoisted him upon his shoulder and they walked to the back.
And now it was time for one of the more anticipated matches of the evening: “The Role Model” Preston Scott with his personal bodyguard, Ray “Boom-Boom” Murillo against “Marvelous” Markus Riot in a street fight. This history between these two runs pretty deep. In short, Riot became inflamed about Preston Scott’s actions when Scott was refereeing some of Riot’s matches. Scott would be giving Riot slow counts and was always acting on behalf of Riot’s opponents. So when the two finally had a match, Scott decimated Riot, thanks to the help of “Boom-Boom.” But last month Riot faced Infernal for the BiG Pro Lucha Libre Title and lost because of Scott’s interference. But when Scott faced Li’l Cholo later that night, Riot took it upon himself to exact revenge and cost Scott his match as well. And now it was time to really settle the score… in a street fight. Preston Scott came out with “Boom-Boom,” donning one of his famous “Role Model” T-shirts that suggested on the back, “Maybe You Should Slit Your Wrists.” I think I was the only one laughing. When people drink too much their vision blurs, so perhaps that is why I heard little to no chuckling over the boos. But anyway, “Boom-Boom” left ringside momentarily to go retrieve a small metal briefcase from the back. Of course, this made us all wonder what could be in it. But we would not find out until later. Riot came out and just charged the ring and just laid heavy into Scott, pushing him back into the corner. Riot hit a splash, which forced Scott to retreat. “Boom-Boom” came over to comfort Scott, but out of nowhere Riot came flying to the outside, crashing on top of both men. As the action made its way back into the ring Riot nailed a double-underhook suplex, but went back outside. From under the ring he grabbed two chairs and brought them inside. Now the fun begins. He set them up near a corner, facing each other; with the seats of the chairs touching in the shape of a U. Riot laid Scott over the seats of the chairs and began mounting the turnbuckle. And just as Riot left his feet for a moonsault, Scott got out of the way and Riot landed stomach first on the chairs. It was so sick that it was fantastic. I about stopped writing for a moment here. The action must have gotten a little too intense because I don’t remember much except for the ellipsis I etched down on my notepad after Riot crashed and burned into the chairs. The next thing I have is that Riot was coming down onto Scott from off the top turnbuckle but Scott nailed Riot’s leg with a heavy chair shot. As Riot lay aching on the mat, Scott takes his injured leg and sets it up inside the chair and proceeds to stomp on it. Then “Boom-Boom” gets the briefcase. Somewhere in the madness of this match I remember Markus Riot sitting in a corner as Preston Scott gave him the Joe Treatment (face wash). Perhaps that was what went down during my ellipsis. But when “Boom-Boom” opened the briefcase he pulled out a long chain. Scott wrapped the chain around his fist and just wailed on Riot. I thought for sure he’d be busted open, but he was lucky. Scott chose to be more creative with the chain and wound up tying Riot’s leg to the bottom rope with it, and then just sat on his leg. When Riot was finally able to break free he attempted a comeback but to no avail as Scott captured him in a figure-four leg-lock. Somehow Riot managed to break free from that as well. With a severely injured leg, Riot attempted yet another comeback, but Scott dropkicked him in the shin. Riot was, however, finally able to momentarily stop Scott from gaining too much momentum. He went for an enzeguiri, got his leg caught by Scott, but hit the mule kick, leaving them both lying on the mat. Somehow Riot was able to climb the turnbuckle and was able to hit Scott with a dropkick from the top. He set up Scott in the corner and went to kick him, but Scott moved and Riot got dropkicked in the face. Riot, realizing it was time to inflict as much damage as possible, nailed Scott in the head with a chair. But “Boom-Boom” wasn’t going to let Riot take advantage and pulled referee Rick Knox out of the ring and subsequently threw powder into his eyes. “Boom-Boom” got into the ring and delivered a nasty clothesline on Riot. He picked up a chair and fixed it in-between the top and middle turnbuckle. Then he picked up Riot and just slaughtered him by powerbombing him right into the chair in the corner. He then went towards his client, Preston Scott, who we find out was busted open from the chair shot, and dragged his body over Riot’s for the limp pin. When Knox was finally able to make the count Riot kicked out. The place went nuts. Scott went back to the briefcase and pulled out a roll of barbwire. He wrapped it around his heavily taped fist, but this took some time. Riot came to, nailed “Boom-Boom” with a chair shot, and then turned around to see Scott swinging his barbwire fist, but he ducked it and kicked Scott’s arm up, which landed right on his own head. The look on Scott’s face as his own barbwire-wrapped arm was forcefully attached to his own head was priceless. He stood there momentarily in shock. Scott finally tugged the barbwire out of his head and then fell face-forward onto the mat, back onto his arm. Riot went up to the top turnbuckle and hit a double-stomp on Scott’s head (yes, with the barbwire in it) and that was it. Riot got the pin. UNBELIEVABLE.
Winner: “Marvelous” Markus Riot defeated “The Role Model” Preston Scott w/Ray “Boom-Boom” Murillo via pinfall in a Street Fight.
I felt sorry for anyone following that match, but it was made up for somewhat with the second round tag team tournament match to crown the first ever Battle Ground Pro Tag Team Champions. Since Bennett said the Ballard Brothers weren’t there to compete in this match, it became a triple-threat instead of a four-way, just like last month when King Faviano and The Unholy couldn’t make it. But instead of it being one fall, this time it was elimination. The contenders were Devilishly Sexy (Diablo and “Sexy” Sonny Samson), The Young Bucks (Slick Nick and Mr. Instant Replay), and Commissioner Bennett’s returning team, The Awesome Plague and Crayz, who actually lost in last month’s first round of the tournament. Why’d they get a second chance? Because they’re Bennett’s goons and he can do whatever the hell he wants. So, out came Devilishly Sexy first. And let me tell you, if you’ve never seen these guys, well, there’s really no point in my trying to explain what their gimmick is. Well, okay… it’s pretty damn hilarious. Some skinny white dude with long hair with this heavy metal kind of gimmick teaming with this chubby black dude that reminds me of Koko B. Ware but gay. And they say they’re from the Brokeback Mountains —you get the picture. Anyway, I’d seen them before in BiG Pro and found them to be quite hilarious, but they came out tonight to “Let’s Put the X in Sex” by KISS, and I was laughing so hard. The Bucks came out to Hanson’s “MMBop,” which they came out to before, but I still find that one pretty amusing, too. Anyway, let’s get to the match.
Plague, Crayz, and Devilishly Sexy huddled outside of the ring as The Bucks stood inside waiting. Suddenly all four men charge into the ring, but each of the Bucks took on two men at a time and took control of all four of them. Samson and Diablo exited the ring to console each other for the beat down they both took by exchanging hugs and touching each other’s ass. Plague and Crayz exited the other side of the ring as the crowd cheered on The Bucks. The match officially started with Slick Nick and Sonny Samson. There were obviously many tags in this match, so bear with me. As Nick began taking control, Samson tagged Diablo and Nick tagged Replay. The Bucks performed perfect, simultaneous double team handsprings into dropkicks on Diablo. They continue to double team Diablo but Samson came in to make the save. Diablo was able to come back enough to tag in Crayz, who landed a few hits and then tagged in Plague, who body-pressed Replay, finally slammed him down and then delivered a huge leg drop, followed by an elbow drop. Plague was on the assault. He tagged in Samson, but both he and Diablo double teamed Replay. Samson, at this point, felt pretty good about himself, so he shouted, “Who wants to see me naked!?” The crowd responded with noises of disgust. But he took off his shirt anyway (which was cut off real high so that his chubby stomach poked through) and hit an elbow drop. The fans, who just love The Bucks, started chanting, “Bucks! Bucks! Bucks! Bucks!” Replay was able to come back as Samson and Diablo attempted a double team. One of Devilishly Sexy’s main spots: Diablo got trapped in the corner, as Samson was Irish whipped into him. Samson fell flat on his back, but Diablo fell onto Samson’s crotch. This has been done so many times before, but it’s still funny, especially with two guys that look like there’s no way that they belong together. Diablo tagged in Plague who shoulder blocked Replay into the corner. Then he hit a nice somersault splash and then subsequently monkey-flipped Replay across the ring. Plague set up Replay in the tree of woe and tagged in Crayz, who dropkicked Replay in the face. Then he hit a leg drop on Replay’s sternum and went for the tag to Diablo. Replay took control of Diablo, however, with a back breaker and a piledriver. Replay tagged in Slick Nick, who came in, along with everyone else, but Nick just took control over them all. There was just mayhem in the ring after this: everyone going at it; too much action to jot down really. Here are the final moments: Nick got the pin over Diablo, eliminating Devilishly Sexy from the match. Plague was knocked out somewhere. The Bucks double team Crayz but Midnight Dynamite interfered and just destroyed the Bucks. Crayz got the pin for the win.
Winners: The Young Bucks (Slick Nick and Mr. Instant Replay) defeated Devilishly Sexy (Diablo and “Sexy” Sonny Samson) via pinfall, and The Awesome Plague and Crayz defeated The Young Bucks via pinfall in a triple-threat tag team elimination match to advance to the finals in the tag team tournament to crown the first ever BiG Pro Tag Team Champions.
This means now that Bennett’s team of Plague and Crayz go on to meet The Stepfamily (The Stepfather and The Red-Headed Stepchild) in the finals. After this match a short intermission was held where during which ring announcer Ben Tomas offered the fans to win a signed wife-beater worn by The Stepfather during his match earlier in the evening, with ketchup and mustard stains and all. He was going to throw it into the audience for whoever cheered the loudest as being the biggest Stepfather fan. But instead, a little girl maybe two years old, wearing Rey Mysterio mask, ran into the ring and just stared up at big Ben. What other choice did he have but to hand it to her? She must have been a huge Stepfather fan!
Anyway, after the intermission was over, the next bout was supposed to be “Wholesome” J.T. Hyatt (now “The Wholesome Hero,” since he stole Chris Hero’s theme song, “Holding Out For A Hero” by Bonnie Tyler) against The Human Tornado, but Tornado couldn’t make it, so his opponent was none other than Disco Machine. Last month Hyatt was involved in a triple-threat match with Disco and Tornado, with Disco coming out on top. However, an inflamed Tornado took his frustrations out on Hyatt by beating him senseless, placing an aluminum trash can over Hyatt’s head and nailing a double knee stomp from the top rope. Then Tornado and Disco both wound up kicking the shit out of Hyatt with the trash can still covering him. So, Disco came out and said that Tornado couldn’t make it to Newhall because he was a movie star (see Nacho Libre , as El Snowflake), and that Tornado knows that Newhall are nothing but drunken racists. Then he told Hyatt that if he wanted Tornado he’d first have to go through him. Then Disco slapped Hyatt across the face. Hyatt, however, didn’t turn the other cheek. Instead, he slapped Disco right back. Disco immediately administered an armbar, but Hyatt reverses and puts a headlock on Disco, who reversed onto Hyatt, who reversed again back into the headlock as they jockeyed for position. Disco finally took advantage over Hyatt by tossing him to the outside. Disco then dove through the ropes out onto Hyatt. Disco stepped on his head while Hyatt lay on the ground outside. He lifted him up and chopped him a few times before throwing him back into the ring. Disco delivered a neckbreaker just before Hyatt made a comeback attempt and failed. Disco propped up Hyatt stomach-first in the corner and hit a flying double knee splash into Hyatt’s back. Then he Irish whipped Hyatt into one corner, Irish whipped him into the opposite corner, then hit a back suplex, but Hyatt attempted another comeback with a cross body, though it didn’t phase Disco very much as Disco pounded a double axe handle into Hyatt’s back. Disco then went for a sunset flip but failed as Hyatt lifted him up. Disco was Irish whipped into the ropes and met a dropkick from Hyatt, who then hit a leg drop from the second rope turnbuckle and went for the pin. Disco kicked out and Hyatt went to the top this time, but Disco got up and Hyatt missed a dropkick. Disco went for a chokeslam, but it was thwarted, so instead he hit a botched powerslam, causing Hyatt to land directly on top of his head. It didn’t look good at all. But Hyatt seemed okay later on in the match. After all, he came back after the powerslam to execute a fisherman’s suplex on Disco, but missed a body splash in the corner. Disco bulldogged Hyatt and went for the pin, but Hyatt kicked out. Unable to come to on his own, Hyatt laid on the mat as Disco danced for the fans. All he got were boos though. Disco went up top, but Hyatt finally came to, knocking Disco crotch-first on the turnbuckle. As he sat up there, Hyatt hit some move that I missed because whatever it was, Disco was now on the mat and Hyatt got the pin.
Winner: “The Wholesome Hero” J.T. Hyatt defeated Disco Machine via pinfall.
I was told later that Hyatt hit Disco with the same finisher that Rob Conway uses. I’m sorry, but I don’t watch Sunday Night Heat on the Internet so I don’t know what the hell Rob Conway’s finisher is. So now that Hyatt defeated Disco he gets his shot at The Human Tornado next month. Should be a great match. Before leaving to the back Hyatt posed for a picture taken by a fan and then he hugged all his friends/fans that he invites to the shows himself. Disco got pissed and made obscene gestures at the audience, and then on his way to the back he was fell face first to the ground. I think Rick Knox tripped him. Don’t know if it was on purpose or what, but it was pretty funny.
Now it was time for the Battle Ground Pro Lucha Libre Title match where the reigning champion, Infernal, defended his title against King Faviano. This was sure to be a laugh riot in the ring. Last month when Infernal came out he told me to write that “Infernal is the shit” on my notepad. This time he came out with a buddy of his—I think his name was Willie Mac—but before he even came out I wrote “INFERNAL RULES!!!” on my notepad, but when I tried to show it to Infernal as he passed by me he didn’t see it. Oh well. Instead he just taunted and insulted the crowd, which is what he is good at. But then he came up in the audience and shook the hands of a few Hispanic fans. When Infernal finally made his way to the ring out came Favi to the Halloween theme. Favi tried to get Infernal going by slapping him on the ass a few times. Infernal seemed to get a little weirded out by that, but then he was being taunted by the same fans that he shook hands with earlier. Infernal got out of the ring and shouted, “My back’s not wet!” So Infernal got back in the ring and Favi wanted to shake, but when Infernal went for the shake Favi slapped him on the ass again. So Infernal took the initiative in the match and took Favi down with an armbar. They began to push each other around and just got into some back-and-forth action, showing each other up with Irish whips and dropkicks and arm drags and whatnot. It was very good. Infernal got out and walked around through the crowd again, for reasons unbeknownst to me. But when he got back in the ring he took control over Favi by kicking him in the leg and then slamming him to the mat. He went for a pin, but Favi kicked out. When Favi sat up, Infernal ran across the ropes and then dropkicked Favi right in the head. Then Infernal got out of the ring and he and Willie Mac pulled Favi’s crotch into the ring post. Then Infernal went up top and hit a Swanton on Favi. He went for the pin, but Favi kicked out. Favi then got on the offensive after knocking Infernal out of the ring. Favi got out on the ringside apron and was going to drop down on Infernal with a double ax-handle, but instead he just dropped to the ground and slapped Infernal with both open palms. Back in the ring Favi hit a splash on Infernal in the corner, but Infernal came back with a botched DDT from the top rope. Favi then nailed Infernal with a powerbomb. He went to lift up Infernal for a second one but Infernal punched him in the head to escape, causing Favi to fall underneath Infernal, who covered him for the pin.
Winner: Battle Ground Pro Lucha Libre Champion Infernal defeated King Faviano via pinfall.
This match was rather short, even with all the taunting going on between Infernal and the audience. I didn’t quite understand the finish, as it was pretty anti-climactic and unexpected. Outside the ring Infernal danced around with Willie Mac as the crowd booed. When he came around to me I showed him my notepad and this time he saw it. He picked it up and took my pen and wrote “BITCH IN TAHOES” on it.
So now it was main event time: Battle Ground Pro Heavyweight Champion “Brawlin’” Bo Cooper teaming up with Li’l Cholo to take on The Santino Brothers (“The Rock Superstar” Kaos and Mongol w/Jezebel). Last month Bo Cooper successfully defended his title against the PWG World Heavyweight Champion, “The Technical Wizard” Joey Ryan after Ryan was disqualified when Kaos interrupted the match. Bo got the best of Kaos momentarily but “The Hardkore Kidd” Aaron Aguilera showed up to help Kaos put Bo through a table. Li’l Cholo came to Cooper’s rescue, and the tag match was set up for tonight’s show. But, with “philosophical differences” Mr. Aguilera was unable to participate in the main event, so Kaos’ old tag team partner Mongol came to answer Cooper and Cholo’s challenge. The Santino Brothers came out first, then Cholo, who waited for Bo, who finally came out to an astounding uproar, as usual, wearing half his face painted like a skull. Cholo started the match off with Mongol, but neither of them touched each other. Mongol tagged in Kaos, and then Cholo tagged in Bo. But Kaos wanted no part of Bo, so he went back and tagged in Mongol as Bo encouraged the crowd to let them know how they felt about Kaos by chanting, “Pussy! Pussy!” Bo tagged Cholo again, so we were back to square one with Cholo and Mongol. Mongol took control early on, but Cholo reversed the offense with a couple of arm drags and hit a cross body from the second rope turnbuckle and made a pin attempt. Cholo reversed an Irish whip from Mongol and then tagged in Bo, who bodyslammed him twice and then hit a clothesline. Mongol tagged in Kaos and the showdown was on. Kaos slowly entered the ring, very wary of Bo. He got in eventually but when Bo came after him he just cowered in the corner. Then Kaos just let loose a couple of punches on Bo and then spit in his face. That really pissed off Bo, but before Bo could hit him, Kaos ducked out of the ring and hid behind Jezebel. Bo got out to chase him around, but when he followed Kaos into the king Kaos just kicked him down. Kaos made the tag to Mongol who took the offense on Bo. Mongol taunted Cholo, which made him try to enter the ring, but referee Rick Knox held him back. While Knox was distracted Jezebel choked Bo over the bottom rope. This actually happened a lot during the match. Kaos and Mongol made some quick tags back and forth a few times to take advantage of Bo, even double-teaming him. Mongol tagged Kaos in, but Bo was able to escape to get the hot tag to Cholo, who just wailed on both Kaos and Mongol. Both men retreated to the outside where Cholo flew over the top rope, but they both moved out of the way (and so did the fans), causing Cholo to land directly on all the chairs in the first few rows. After Cholo got back in the ring Kaos did a number on him as Mongol choked him from the outside as Cholo sat in the corner. Bo tried to get in the ring to stop them, but Knox stopped him, and again, when he was distracted, Jezebel choked Cholo on the bottom rope. As Kaos was taking control of Cholo, Bo started the crowd in with a chant of “Cholo! Cholo! Cholo!” Kaos tagged in Mongol who kicked Cholo around a bit before tagging Kaos back in. Kaos missed a splash, but when Cholo went to tag Bo, Kaos was able to stop him. Cholo finally got the tag, but the ref didn’t see it, ordering Bo to get back on the apron. Kaos tagged Mongol, but Mongol distracted the ref so that Jezebel could yet again choke Cholo on the bottom rope. Then someone from the audience threw ice in the ring at Mongol. But it didn’t phase him too much as he hit Cholo with a spinebuster. Then Mongol sent Cholo in an Irish whip into the ropes for a clothesline, but Cholo had the same idea, and the double clothesline sent them both down. The hot crowd was cheering as both men slowly made their way to their partners for the hot tags. Kaos came in, and then Bo came in and just wailed on him. Bo picked up Mongol and Kaos and butted both their heads together. Then Bo hit a sidewalk slam on Kaos, chopped him into the corner, and as Kaos fell to his ass in the corner, Bo called for the Bronco Buster. Bo went for a pin, but Jezebel lifted Kaos’ leg on the rope to break the count. And I can’t remember if Knox got knocked out or what, because Jezebel came into the ring to low blow Bo. But then Cholo got her in a swinging backbreaker, which got a nice pop from the crowd. Kaos and Mongol picked up Jezebel out of the ring and hauled her off as they waved off Bo and Cholo and walked to the outside. No, not to the back… they went to the outside of the arena. They walked out. Bo and Cholo looked at each other, then shouted, “Everyone, let’s go!” So, out we went! Bo and Cholo led the ENTIRE sold-out American Legion Hall outside to the parking lot. I stopped writing at this point. I’m sure you can understand why. But from what I remember, everyone stood in a huge circle around the four men. Bo and Cholo were throwing Kaos and Mongol into the side of a U-Haul truck that sat parked right there in front of the entrance. Kaos was cut open now and Bo was just wailing on him. He pointed up to the top of the U-Haul truck, where suddenly we all saw Li’l Cholo who fucking dove off the truck onto Kaos and Mongol. The parking lot erupted. It was insane. Then Bo went to his truck and pulled a stick wrapped in barbwire out of the back. He hit Kaos in the stomach with it and then in the head. That’s about all I remember from the action that happened outside. They took it back inside and Kaos got a hold of a chain, which he wrapped around his fist and hit Cholo with it. It just became more of a mess in the ring. I missed the finish on this match too, but Cholo wound up getting the pin on Mongol.
Winners: Battle Ground Pro Heavyweight Champion “Brawlin’” Bo Cooper and Li’l Cholo defeated The Santino Brothers (“The Rock Superstar” Kaos and Mongol w/Jezebel) via pinfall.
Amidst the mess Kaos stole Bo’s title belt and ran to the back with it. Then Bo got on the microphone to address Kaos as being a thief. But then he gave his props to Cholo and started talking about respect, something that Kaos apparently doesn’t have. Then Bo issued his challenge to Kaos for next month for a chain strap match for the title. Then Kaos came out and was taunted by Bo, but accepted the match. Then Cholo thanked all the Newhall fans before they all left.
So the next show takes place November 4 th , and so far on the card we have the main event of “Brawlin’” Bo Cooper to defend his Battle Ground Pro Heavyweight Championship against “The Rock Superstar” Kaos in a chain strap match, the finals of the tag tournament to crown the first ever Battle Ground Pro Tag Team Champions with Commissioner Bennett’s team of The Awesome Plague and Crayz taking on The Stepfamily (The Stepfather and The Red-Headed Stepchild), Joey Harder taking on Brandon Nitro in an I Quit match to determine who really is the best technical wrestler in BiG Pro, “The Wholesome Hero” J.T. Hyatt finally getting his shot at The Human Tornado, plus a whole lot of other stuff that I am certain will blow the roof off the American Legion Hall.
This was a fantastic show. I know I say that a lot about these shows, but honestly, this was one of the best shows BiG Pro has put on, if not THE best. There was just so much going on, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. And these guys really do work their asses off to put on a great show. The people in the back really care about the fans and know how to cater to them in a way that pleases every kind of wrestling fan. I had a difficult time trying to determine the Match of the Night. It was a toss up with several matches, but I actually had to sit and weigh the pros and cons of each match. It came down to the Street Fight and the main event, but ultimately I chose the Street Fight between Markus Riot and Preston Scott as Match of the Night for a few reasons: it contained some good technical stuff, some high flying moves, some really nasty hits that both men took, a lot of violence, and a flawless flow between the two. Joey Harder and Ray Kejimura had the great technical stuff I really love, The Young Bucks looked better than ever with a lot of high flying aerial moves, the main event was so violently awesome with Cholo diving off a U-Haul truck, and Disco’s matches always flow so well, but the Street Fight just had it all. There really wasn’t any match that didn’t deserve to be on the card. Even though the Infernal/Favi match had a strange ending it was still pretty funny. And even though the Foob Dogg/Bennett confrontation didn’t have a whole lot going on in it there was still a great story being told, and Bennett sold everything very well. He exaggerated a lot of it but that only made it funnier. So since this was such a fantastic show I can’t wait to see what their final show of the year will be like next month. It’s supposed to be their biggest show of the year, so be sure to make it to this one if you haven’t seen BiG Pro yet. They won’t be back after this until January.
For more information: http://www.myspace.com/battlegroundpro
