By Lord Lucifer
Friday night Underground Empire Wrestling put on its biggest show in history in front of a sold out crowd! The Casa Del Mexicano in Santa Paula, CA was packed with U.E.W fans! “Hell Bound” started off with a bang as the U.E.W Heavyweight Champion Robby Phoenix was presented with a new title belt. A belt in which was professionally hand crafted, making U.E.W the ONLY indie fed in all of Southern California to have their very own title belt! After the ceremony the first of nine action packed matches began as Chimaera took on London native Timothy Thatcher. It was a contest of great mat skills and also some high risk taking by both men. When the bell sounded it was Thatcher who was declared the victor.
Wikkid and his manager Billy J. made their way to the ring to take on the newly reformed Krs Kaz. After the comments Kaz made at the last show, we knew he was clearly finished following the teachings of Jesus Christ, and now Kaz has a meaner demeanor. Billy J. took note of this new attitude in Krs Kaz and was obviously impressed. Krs Kaz picked up the win over Wikkid, but the fans were left as to the intentions of Billy J. and his new found interest in Kaz.
A four way elimination match seen; The Redheaded Stepchild, Lion Tenshi, The Xciter, and Junior Oldschool face off. The Redheaded Stepchild took control early on in the match, dishing out a lot of punishment to his smaller opponents. The quickness caught up to the redheaded one, and he was eliminated, but not before he had the chance to eliminate The Xciter. Tenshi and Junior Oldschool were left to battle it out, and battle it out they did, pulling out all the stops to obtain victorious. Tenshi was caught with a DDT and Oldschool got the three count, but the night was not over for Oldschool, upon making his exit out of the ring Timothy Thatcher attacked! Tenshi joined in on the beat down of Junior Oldschool, but luckily Chimaera came out to help and once the odds were evened, Thatcher and Tenshi bailed to the back.
Keeping the show rolling, a tag-team match set to take place; as Bigg E. Biggz teamed up with Virgil Flynn to take on the Suburban Commandos. The Suburban Commandos are well known in Nor. Cal. And are known to put a beat down on their opponents, “Hell Bound” was no exception. The team of Flynn and Biggz was quite a paring, but they were not able to take out DJ Rizz and D-Unit. It was a very impressive U.E.W debut for the group.
It was an action packed night so far, and it was time to take it down a road less traveled in wrestling, it was time for the Dildo on the Pole match! Before the match could get underway Angel whispered into the ring announcer’s ear, and it was declared an “I Quit” Dildo on a Pole match! Hyashi and Angel are talented performers despite their personal life choices and preferences, they deliver! The match was fast paced and had an intensity second to none. Angel was able to keep Hyashi down long enough for him to climb to the top rope, and reach for the dildo. Once Angel had the dildo, the beating began; Angel chopped Hyashi with it, choked him with it, and even clothes-lined him with it! Angel drug Hyashi into the men’s restroom and closed the door behind him. Angel still had the microphone so we could hear over the sound system the ungodly acts that were transpiring behind closed doors. The ring announcer, who somehow got dragged into the restroom with the two, gave a disturbing narrative of what he was witnessing. Hyashi eventually gave up, claiming that he couldn’t “take it” anymore. On an extra odd note, the ring announcer came out of the ring with his tuxedo pants around his ankles! What role did he play in the outcome of the match, will we ever really know, or do we even want to know?
After a short intermission, the action continued with the grudge math of the night, as Markus Riot took on the crowd favorite Marce. The match was a pure display of agility, strength, skill, and determination. Markus, as we all had suspected received a lot of help from his manager Gary Yapp. Bigg E. Biggz came down to the ring to lend a hand to Riot. Marce put up a good fight, but the odds were stacked too high against him. Markus Riot picked up the three count. Yapp then declared his client the new W3C champion, saying that they want the trophy. We have not seen the last meeting of these too I am sure.
The longest reigning champion in U.E.W history, Mike Rayne was now going to face someone that we all believe he was afraid to face 3 months ago, which is why U.E.W officials believe Mike Rayne had something to do with Funny Bones hospitalization. It was no laughing matter for Funny Bone, he was pumped up for the match, but no matter how ready he actually was for the match, his body was not. Funny Bone entered the ring with his ribs heavily taped, and Mike Rayne, a consummate bad guy, seen that as a bulls eye for him to hit. The match was falls count anywhere, and anywhere is where these two men took the fight. The match was an all out brawl, Funny Bone was taking it to Mike Rayne, and his reign as champ was looking to be coming to an end. Rayne battled back with impact moves pin-pointed on Funny Bones ribs. I the end Rayne was able to retain his Eastern Pacific Championship as well as his undefeated streak.
The U.E.W Heavyweight Championship would now be decided, as Robby Phoenix faced his biggest challenger to date; the 6’5″ 325lbs. Stepfather! The Lumberjack Strap match was set to be a brutal match, as all eight of the lumberjacks were ready and willing ringside with there straps in hand! Robby Phoenix took the fight straight to the Stepfather, giving him everything that he had, catching him off guard many times with speed. The Stepfather eventually gained control of the champion with his sheer size and strength, pounding and beating on Phoenix. Each of the two men had their fair share of getting tossed outside and getting whipped with the leather straps. At one point with everyone outside, including the Stepfather, Robby climbed to the top rope and flew like a Phoenix on to all of the lumberjacks and his opponent. That high risk would prove to be the turning point in the match, as Phoenix regained control and was able to defeat the trailer park dwelling giant.
The Body Bags were brought down to ring, which meant only one thing, 3 men were about to step into the ring and go hell bound! The B.C. Killer, Carnage, and Youth Suicide wasted absolutely no time taking violence to a new level. Cheese graters were used to slice flesh, a pizza cutter was used to separate the skin of one’s forehead! The blood in this match started flowing early; with no one man getting the better of anything that was occurring in the ring. Carnage then used one of his trademark moves to take Youth Suicide out of the match, the fans thought, permanently! Carnage lit his own arm on fire and hit Youth Suicide with a rolling elbow, Youth Suicide went down to the arena floor and was carried to the back by the referee. Carnage and the Body Count Killer went toe to toe and tried to stuff one another into the body bags. Just as everyone had suspected Youth Suicide was out of the match he sprinted to the ring and jumped right back into the mix. B.C. Killer was proving to be very dominant in this brutal contest; he was taking control of both Youth Suicide and Carnage. It was appearing that the man thought everyone was just trying to make a name for himself at the expense of everyone else was a force to be reckoned with. B.C Killer took out Carnage, zipped him into the body bag, and went after Youth Suicide. The B.C. Killer took Youth Suicide out, and was just about to finish zipping him and take the victory in the match when an all too familiar voice boomed from the speakers. “The Human Horror Film” Supreme’s voice sounded all throughout the arena taunting the B.C. Killer. Supreme then came through the curtain which stopped the B.C. Killer in his tracks. Supreme then called out the B.C. Killer, who didn’t hesitate, as he stepped through the ropes, and laid into Supreme with a stiff right hand to the head. The two exchanged right hands, until Supreme took the B.C. Killer down with a clothes-line and then began stomping him. Wrestlers tried to come and calm down the very emotional Supreme, and they got laid out for their troubles. Supreme was finally coaxed backstage, and the B.C. Killer was taken to the back as well. Youth Suicide had made it to his feet by this time and noticed that the man that he has an undying hatred for was still in a body bag. It was at this point that he did something U.E.W officials, wrestlers, and fans alike never thought he would do. Youth Suicide found lighter fluid, squirted the entire thing over Carnage’s life-less body, and proceeded to LIGHT CARNAGE ON FIRE!!!! Youth Suicide took a few moments to enjoy his handy work before he took off to the backstage. The ring crew pounced onto the ring with fire extinguishers and put out the fire, but the damage looked to be done, as it was signaled to the back for them to bring out a spine board to get Carnage’s charred body out of the ring. Supreme was visibly upset over what had happened, U.E.W fans all know how much he despises these two’s battles. We here at UEWwrestling.com are curious as to Supreme really feels about all of what has happened. The night ended with the smell of burning flesh and a singed soul. Please check back soon, as we will be posting up a video of the horrific end to “Hell Bound”
Underground Empire Wrestling
“Hell Bound”
Friday, October 13th, 2006
Match #1: Timothy Thatcher def. Chimaera
Match#2: Krs Kaz def. Wikkid
Match#3: Junior Oldschool pinned Lion Tenshi to win the four way elimination match.
(The Xciter and The Redheaded Stepchild had been eliminated earlier in the match)
Match #4: The Suburban Commandos def. Bigg E. Biggs & Virgil Flynn
Match #5: Angel def. Seito Hyashi
Match #6: Markus Riot def. Marce
Match #7: Mike Rayne def. Funny Bone
(Mike Rayne retains his Eastern Pacific Championship)
Match #8: Robby Phoenix def. The Stepfather
(Robby Phoenix retains his Heavyweight Championship)
Match #9: The 3-way body bag match had no winner.
