Blue Demon Jr. and Rey Mysterio Sr. defeat the Villanos, Scorpio Sky fights transvestites, and Human Tornado takes to the air in the first leg of the “Love, MEXICAN Style” triple shot. For the complete report, click below.I’ve been to professional wrestling events all over the world. I’ve been cursed at in French by Quebecois at Montreal independents. I’ve seen “World of Sport” wrestling in England, and watched Misawa get cheered by 3,500 strong. Nothing in my globetrotting experiences, however, comes close to the pure kaleidoscope mindfuck that is Lucha Va Voom.
I arrived (after enduring possibly the worst shitstorm of traffic on Wilshire Blvd. I’ve encountered in my short time in LA) and was immediately awestruck by the beauty of the Mayan Theater. The immediate interior was stunning, and the nightclub setting (which had three screens playing Santo films and the Nacho Libre trailer on a loop) really enhanced the overall presentation of the show.
What was also interesting was the audience makeup of the show- there were very few identifiable wrestling fans in the packed theatre, with the crowd consisting mainly of arty Hollywood hipsters and their girlfriends. I’ve never seen so many geeky-looking guys with insanely hot women on their arms- it truly gives hope to bespectacled film/TV dorks like me.
Anyway, the show opened with Human Tornado formally presenting the Nacho Libre trailer, which looks like a seriously promising film. I’m definitely going to catch that when it premieres because a) Jack Black is awesome and b) I like wrestling.
The kickoff to the 3-day “Love, MEXICAN Style” par-tay was hosted by Tom Kenny, Blaine Capatch and Dana Gould, and their commentary really added a fun atmosphere to the matches. None of them really know all that much about wrestling, but hey, there’s no such thing as too many Dick Cheney jokes.
Prior to the “violencia” we were treated to the “sexo” – one of many burlesque performances throughout the night. The Wau Wau Sisters expertly performed an intricate trapeze routine (I was majorly impressed) before we headed to the opening lucha match.
Los Mulletos def. Human Tornado and El Gallinero
Los Mulletos are exactly as advertised- two mulleted masked wrestlers in redneck garb. I couldn’t tell you which of the 4 Gallineros this was, sadly. Rather than pure lucha, this was a very solid US pro-style match where everyone looked good. There were some great dive spots in the match, including two insane trips to Tornado Alley (one from the ring and one off the staging area.) However, the Mullets were able to isolate El Gallinero and put him away with a pendulum legdrop from the second rope. A really neat touch to these matches is they sometimes play the competitors’ music during changes in momentum, which I think adds to the high-energy atmosphere of the show.
The second burlesque act featured Cardinal Cyn, which I also liked quite a bit. Burlesque really is a lost art and it’s very cool to see someone put it back in the spotlight.
Acero Dorado and Shamu Jr. def.(?) Principe Unlimited and Alucinante
My Spanish isn’t as great as it used to be, so I apologize if I misspelled anyone’s name. This was the best match of the show, with a lot of great lucha spots and counter sequences. Minus a minor blown spot, everything was lightning quick and very smooth. The ending was extremely confusing, as Alucinante was apparently pinned by Shamu after a Tiger Driver, but Principe sprung back with a Tornado DDT and pinned Shamu almost immediately. A minute later, Principe was caught with a wicked ballshot by Acero on a vault attempt (Chris Bosh should really work this spot into his matches somehow) in full view of the official. The referee initially signalled for the DQ but counted the pin anyway. Once the rudos left, the referee then raised the hand of the tecnico team, so I really have no idea who won.
Toot L’Amour performed a burlesque act with balloons, and what followed right after was seemingly a lucha morality play, almost a “rhythmic gymnastics” version of pro wrestling. Les Poubelles, who had been cleaning the ring along with their “intern,” had been harassed by a “kissing bandit” all night. Les Poubelles finally decided to take action, and fought the Bandit with a bunch of nicely executed spots, including some stage dives that shocked the crap out of me. Somewhere in this was a gay referee who kept coming up behind the Bandit, before Les Poubelles finally drove their attacker off.
Following intermission, a male, “cowboy” burlesque dancer managed to strip while on a pogo stick, which appropriately set the tone for the next match.
Cassandro def. Scorpio Sky, Rosa Salvaje, and Ruby Gardenia
I’m pretty sure this is by far the oddest match Scorpio Sky has ever been a part of. Sky stayed out of the match for the most part, acting as the literal straight man while the three drag queen “exoticos” did their thing. Cassandro pinned Ruby Gardenia, but for whatever inexplicable reason the match didn’t end there. Sky snuck up behind Cassandro to take advantage, but Cassandro caught him with a wheelbarrow into a small package for the victory. Not really much of a match, minus a few decent dives. Scorpio Sky’s abs DID look great though. Gardenia was really upset with the result of the match and beat down Cassandro after the match, before a bleeding Cassandro made a comeback and challenged Ruby to a rematch tomorrow. CASSANDRO BLEEDS FOR YOUR ANDROGYNOUS LOVE!
Capatch and co. were about to announce the main event (which puzzled me because I thought there was a minis match also on the card), but we got one more burlesque performance before we got underway.
Blue Demon Jr. and Rey Mysterio Sr. def. Los Villanos (III and IV) in the “Lucha Super Estrellas” match of the evening.
Porky no-showed, which was a huge bummer for me, since he was the guy I came to see. However I have a feeling that 85% of the crowd couldn’t tell Porky from the concession guy, as no one was apparently bothered. This was a very slow-paced match, with a lot of brawling and awkward bumping (although Demon did take a king-sized bump to the outside halfway through the match.) The tecnicos managed to score simultaneous falls, with Mysterio catching a Villano with a victory roll and Demon submitting the other one. The Villanos challenged Demon and Mysterio to a rematch at tomorrow’s show, this time with masks on the line.
Overall thoughts: No Porky and no minis match really hurt what I think had the potential to be a far better show, but this was still a fun time, and I can see why Lucha Va Voom is one of the hottest entertainment commodities in Southern California.
I’m not going to make a general judgment on the product based on what seems like a depleted card, but the initial impression I get is that a pure, “hardcore” wrestling fan would hate these shows. The burlesque performances far outnumber the matches, the announcers don’t take the action seriously, and the actual wrestling seems to be hit-or-miss. However, if you’re a fan of spectacle, Lucha Va Voom is definitely worth at least one try. The presentation is amazing, the women are gorgeous, the commentary is funny and the gimmicks are also very amusing. If you can tolerate faux-Eurotrash enjoying the sport ironically, this is definitely a show you can take your buddies and/or your girlfriend to without feeling embarassed.
I think promotions like Lucha Va Voom really are the logical evolution of pro wrestling in the US. WWE is clearly creatively bankrupt, desperately trying to force-feed an artificially created “next big thing” on their fans while unimaginatively recycling characters from lowbrow comedies, to little noticeable success. A fresh take on wrestling is going to be needed to vault it into “mainstream” popularity again, and “comedy lucha with half-naked women” is a better idea than most. Hey, at least I didn’t have to wear “Warped Tour” gear to this one.
