The Alternative View by Marco “Taco Shop” Nelson
AWS: THE SUPER BART SHUFFLE
Saturday, January 21, 2006 1:30PM Bell time
Frank ‘N’ Sons Collectables Arena
19649 E. San Jose Ave – City of Industry, CA
MAIN EVENT:
8 Man Tag Team Extravaganza!
Human Tornado, Babi Slymm, Aaron Aguilera & Skulu (w/ El Jefe)
VS.
“Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce, Al Katrazz, The Plague & Crayz (w/Vander
Pyle)
The history between these 10 men is well documented. Vander Pyle’s recent
addition of Crayz to his band of bad men led to a sneak attack on Tornado at
the AWS New Year’s Eve show. After Skulu and Plague got involved a tag
match was made that solved nothing as every man brawled until being counted
out. Pearce vs. Aguilera saw a controversial finish as Pearce used powder and
feet on the ropes to gain the pinfall. A post match attack by Vander Pyle and
Pearce on Jefe led to the challenge of a tag match which would have seen El
Jefe as an active competitor in his first ever match. In an amazing act that
for some reason never seems to happen anywhere in professional wrestling, Pearce
just said “No” and walked away. AWS Kingpin Bart Kapitzke attempted
to convince Pearce and VP to accept the match, but when they countered with
the 8 Man idea, this massive extravaganza was too good to pass up. Al Katrazz
has finally received a weekend furlough after having been denied due to a December
riot he caused after a Chargers loss. Babi Slymm will also be returning after
missing both December shows due to the injuries (severe concussion and separated
shoulder) he suffered at the hands of the Plague.
These 8 men and their respective managers were all asked for comments on the
battle. Somehow each one of them responded in 8 line verse to celebrate the
20th anniversary of the famous 1985 Chicago Bears “Super Bowl Shuffle”.
We can’t decide is this cool or just plain retarded, but here is the combination
of their quotes on the subject:
The Super Bart Shuffle
We are the Bart’s Shuffling Crew
Kicking the crap out of each other for you
We’re so bad, the marks don’t show
They check for results and act like they know
None rougher, none tougher, none nastier or meaner
Tearing the roof off the Frank ‘N’ Sons Arena
We DID come here looking for trouble
‘Cuz that’s how you do the Super Bart Shuffle
I’m the scraptacular daddy known as AP
The surliest bastard in wrestling history
I’m a liar, a cheater, a thief and a conniver
And I’ll break your neck when I hit the piledriver
So bring on Tornado, bring on Slymm
Aguilera? I’m gonna slap the Jesus outta him
You bring your old school and I’ll guarantee
My Super Bart Shuffle will set you free
My name is El Jefe, I’ve got ladies galore
And I make each one scream out “Get More!”
I’ll bring everything, even the kitchen sink
If it means another victory for Hardkore Inc.
Nothing would bring to my face a bigger smile
Than to get my hands on that fatass Vander Pyle
My life is as large as my moustache is big
Watch me Super Bart Shuffle, Boogie, Foxtrot and Jig
Back from the depths with a vengeance and a fury
Smashing in your face ‘til your vision goes all blurry
Scaring all the fans, the kids and their parents
“Is your name Crayz?” Naw, mine’s Clarence
I like drowning kittens, hurting folks and causing pain
Just because the state says so don’t mean I am insane
I did come here looking for trouble
‘Cuz that’s how I do the Super Bart Shuffle
From Southeast San Diego it’s ya homie Babi Slymm
The C.E.O. of K.I.G., yeah you know I’m him
My shoulder’s getting better and as soon as I am able
I’ll get payback on the Plague for putting me through the table
Winter is upon us which is perfect ‘cuz I’m told
That revenge is a dish best served when it’s ice cold
The first Champ here in Bartville and it’s plain as you can see
I never shuffle solo, I got my gangstas with me!
The Big Man from The Big House Al Katrazz is on the scene
Blowing up the AWS since we started this thing
Tags matches, singles, Battle Royals or whatever
This is my house and nobody does it better
My opponents were my partners, but no love lost do I feel
‘Cuz I’d gladly knock their blocks off with enthusiastic zeal
Aaron, Skulu, Slymm, Tornado – you are all in for trouble
‘Cuz It’s Al Katrazz’s time to do the Super Bart Shuffle
The monster man called Skulu, and by now you should be knowin’
NEVER EVER EVER try to headbutt a Samoan!
Wild like the jungle and strong like a lion
I’ll make you cry and tap out and I’m barely even tryin’
To all the fans for their support I’d really like to thank
I think I know who Sons is, but who the heck is Frank?
So come out on the 21st, quit sitting on the bubble
You know you wanna see me do the Super Bart Shuffle
***Sexy Chino Sax Solo***
I am the Plague, death incarnate in a mask
Our victory is your defeat and in it I shall bask
Immovable, unstoppable in one single form
Destroying all that lay before me is my daily norm
With VP in my corner and these warriors by my side
The rest of wrestling is in for a long and painful ride
Destruction of the masses throughout this and every nation
My Super Bart Shuffle means Slymm’s annihilation
Aaron Aguilera, the Hardkore Luchador
A plethora of styles with moves and moves galore
I’ll outwrestle you, outbrawl you and outthink you just the same
And make you wonder why your girl is screaming out my name
Me and Jefe rule this land and you know that dawg
When I kick you in the head and leave you in a fog
Cien Percento Rudo, that’s rudo through and through
Pearce, you lousy punk, it’s time to shuffle over you!
Heenan, Dillon, Cornette and now there’s Vander Pyle
Managerial greatness strikes once in a great while
I will lead my men to victory, a sure fire guarantee
‘Cuz if I don’t, Adam’ll beat the crap outta me
I bring annoyance, arrogance and out and out defiance
To this and every branch of the National Wrestling Alliance
So Bart and Marquez, kiss my… nah, not worth the trouble
I’m gonna dance the Rerun, screw the Super Bart Shuffle
Last but not least it’s the Champ Human Tornado
I’m cooler than Bruce Lee kicking it as Kato
Flying like a bird – smooth and swift and deft
Beware my right hand when it’s swinging from the left
That’s what we call a pimp slap, mine’ll leave ya devastated
‘Cuz I’m often imitated but never ever duplicated
Tearing wrestling walls and leaving them in rubble
That’s how this pimp kicks his Super Bart Shuffle
We are the Bart’s Shuffling Crew
Kicking the crap out of each other for you
We’re so bad, the marks don’t show
They check for results and act like they know
None rougher, none tougher, none nastier or meaner
Tearing the roof off the Frank ‘N’ Sons Arena
We DID come here looking for trouble
‘Cuz that’s how you do the Super Bart Shuffle
AWS TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Champions: Los Chivos (Kayam & Enigma de Oro)
Challengers: The Ballard Brothers (Shane & Shannon)
The Ballard Brothers make their AWS debut with a shot at the belts. Given their
reputation and history of tag team excellence, no one doubts their worthiness.
Los Chivos are excited to continue facing top talent in their quest for tag
team dominance. The champions are riding a big high after defeating 3 international
tag teams on New Year’s Eve. Their victory over the teams of Russia’s
Alex Koslov & Cuba’s Rocky Romero, NWA Australia’s Hartley Jackson
& Mikey Nicholls and NWA Canadian Tag Team Champions The Twin Terrors (Koko
& Razz Mansour) was one for the record books. Two of the most experience
tag teams on the West Coast will tangle at Super Bart Shuffle and only one will
walk away with the belts.
AWS LA LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
Champion: Lil’ Nate
Challenger: Lil’ Cholo
Since regaining the title from Quicksilver several months back, Lil’ Nate
has been accused of ducking all competition. He has continually attempted to
get himself booked in tag and 6-man matches, though he claims that this is due
to his allegiance to his running buddies Antonio Mestre and Peter Goodman. When
Nate teamed with them and took the pin in a loss to the team of Cholo, Chippy
Sanchez and R2K, Bart quickly announced that Nate would have to defend the title
against the man who pinned him – Lil’ Cholo! This match may be Lil’
vs. Lil’ but it will certainly be large!
TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH
The Forgotten (Charles Mercury & Johnny Paradise)
VS.
TJ “Pinoy Boy” Perkins & Lionheart
“Let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” –
Indigo Montoya in The Princess Bride. Summation: TJ beat Johnny by DQ, Merc
attacked, Lion made the save. Then Lionheart beat Merc by DQ, Johnny attacked,
TJ made the save. Now they all fight. Anybody wanna peanut?
3-Way Dance
Bo Cooper
VS.
Antonio Mestre
VS.
Alex Koslov
Mestre and Koslov’s recent tag team victory at the debut NWA Pro/Inoki
Dojo Show was not followed by much of a celebration. Both men have great respect
for each other as competitors, but both knew this match had already been signed
for AWS: Super Bart Shuffle. Add Brawlin’ Bo Cooper to the mix and this
is one explosive bout waiting to happen. Cooper returned from 8 months of rehab,
only to fall in defeat in his first match up with the Russian Koslov. Cooper
would certainly love to get the win back from Koslov and both Antonio and Alex
want to keep that from happening. Come out on the 21st and see who stands tall
at the end.
The Legendary Sexy Chino
VS.
Peter Goodman
Peter Goodman has impressed everyone with his wrestling ability since coming
to AWS late last year. The one question that remains is, can he dance? In all
honesty, Goodman cares nothing about dancing. He simply believes that he can
use Sexy Chino as a stepping stone. But not so fast! Chino recently scored pinfalls
over both Adam Pearce and Bigg E. Biggz before falling to Bo Cooper last month.
Instead of taking the loss to Cooper as a step in the wrong direction, Chino
took the opportunity to dance with the big man, showing that nothing can break
his spirit. Goodman may be the favorite to win, but Chino is still clearly the
real favorite in the match!
Davey Richards
VS.
Keiji Sakoda
Richards returns to AWS just as WWE Alumnus Sakoda makes his debut. With no
history behind them these two men look to make their mark with each other and
with the loyal Frank ‘N’ Sons crowd. There is little certain about
this match other than that it will be hard hitting and it will leave you doing
the Super Bart Shuffle!
AWS: THE SUPER BART SHUFFLE
Saturday, January 21, 2006 1:30PM Bell time
Frank ‘N’ Sons Collectables Arena
19649 E. San Jose Ave – City of Industry, CA
[url]www.alternativewrestlingshow.com[/url]
Tickets: $10 for adults. Kids under 6 free with paid adult.
All matches are sanctioned in accordance with the rules and regulations of
the National Wrestling Alliance.
[url]www.nwawrestling.com[/url].
Card subject to change.
