By Silverback, PWG Staff Writer
Duckpond, CA – With the crowning of the sixth Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com) champion, and the 772nd tag team champions at “Zombies Shouldn’t Run!” on August 6, PWG once again faces a period of turbulence. Adding to the upheaval within PWG is Commissioner SoCal Valerie Wyndham’s appointment of Dino Winwood as Assistant Commissioner, and her announcement of a 3 week European vacation, which may or may not have begun a few days ago (she phoned the PWG offices from a French telephone number with someone who sounded suspiciously like Chevy Chase in the background.) Either way, one of these events would prove challenging for anyone recently employed as Assistant Commissioner, so with all three things occurring at the same time, Dino certainly has his work cut out for him. His first true test came this past Monday when Kevin Steen, the new PWG Champion’s, lawyer David Douglass Weinsteen placed a phone call to the desk of Mr. Winwood.The honorable Mr. Weinsteen informed Mr. Winwood that the former PWG Champion, AJ Styles, is contractually guaranteed the Number 1 Contender spot (in simpler terms, a rematch clause,) and PWG cannot name a Number 1 Contender until AJ Styles receives his rematch. After literally diving headfirst into a pile of contracts and spilling six cups of coffee in the process, Dino found this fact to be true, and was forced to ask “How has PWG named Number 1 Contenders (in the past) without providing a rematch to the former champion?” To which there was a simple answer: No champion has ever had legal superstar David Douglass Weinsteen as their lawyer before. Completely stumped, Dino Winwood did the only thing left in his hands, and asked Mr. Weinsteen if not “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels, who did Kevin Steen want to grant a title shot to? The answer for that was simple as well.
“Quicksilver, Mr. Winwood.” said Weinsteen, undoubtedly twisting the ends of his wax caked moustache, deeply reclined in his plush leather chair. “My client saw Quicksilver’s match with Super Dragon on August 6, and to be quite frank, he was very impressed. Make no mistake, I mean he was impressed by Quicksilver, and his ability to bring Super Dragon very nearly to his breaking point.” continued the lawyer. “Therefore, my client would like to make his first title defense against Quicksilver, and defeat him in a fraction of the time it took Super Dragon, in order to further prove his superiority.”
“Well, uh… I will have to inform Christopher Daniels of your client’s decision, and I uh… I guess we will have to update the website. And throw out the 5,000 flyers we had printed. And let the Sky Writers know about the (non-refundable) change.” Stammered Dino. “Are… are you sure there’s no way we could convince your client to change his mind?” asked the Assistant Commissioner. When he was met with silence on the other end of the line, Dino Winwood knew the first phone call he would make of his tenure would undoubtedly be one of the most difficult.*
*Phone transcription service provided by the offices of Weinsteen, Weinsteen, and Abdul Rahim.
When Dino called Christopher Daniels to inform him of the change, he was a bit surprised by the Fallen Angel’s reaction. While understandably upset that he would not have an opportunity to add the PWG Championship to his gallery of titles held, he stressed that Kevin Steen had already had a shot at the Fallen Angel earlier this year, and in his eyes, there was nothing left to prove. He also mentioned he thought Steen had a poor fashion sense, all together dreadful taste in women, and that in Daniels’ eyes, Kevin Steen is unworthy to challenge for the X-Division title. Recently, this has become a common occurrence in the title reign of Christopher Daniels, as he deemed Chris Hero, Road Warrior Animal, and a bus boy at a chain of popular Southern California family restaurants as unworthy competitors as well. In order to satisfy the increasingly angry X-Division Champion, Dino offered Daniels a shot at anybody on the PWG roster. After a moment of consideration, and making it extremely clear the title would not be on the line, Christopher Daniels picked Chris Bosh as his opponent for August 19. Not because he felt he was worthy, but to make an example out of Bosh, whose tag team partner the Fallen Angel will be facing in the first round of the Battle of Los Angeles tournament in September.
“Smells Like Steen Spirit” will also feature:
– The rematch to end all rematches (though we’re pretty sure there will still be rematches in PWG after this,) as Super Dragon takes on Samoa Joe. Dragon put a stop to his losing streak with an impressive victory earlier this month, and looks to gain more momentum heading into the Battle of Los Angeles. Samoa Joe, who is making his return to PWG after a four month absence, wants to win the rubber match and prove he is the most dominant Los Angeles native in the sport today. Could this be the pair’s most brutal encounter yet?
– Newly crowned PWG Tag Team Champions 2 Skinny Black Guys (El Generico & Human Tornado) put their titles on the line against TNA Wrestling’s own Chris Sabin & Petey Williams! Assistant Commissioner Winwood decided Sabin & Williams would be perfect to challenge 2 Skinny Black Guys after he was so impressed by their victory over the New Old X-Foundation (Scott Lost & Joey Ryan.)
– Speaking of Joey Ryan, after questionable wins over both Alex Shelley and Claudio Castagnoli, Joey Ryan believes he has truly lived up to the “Technical Wizard” name, and is ready to take on anyone who feels they are proficient in the art of technical wrestling. One such man is Rocky Romero, who after causing Davey Richards to pass out on August 6, is looking to do the same to Joey Ryan in order to shut him up for good.
– And it’s funny that Davey Richards was mentioned, as well, since despite his differences with Hardkore Kidd, the two will be putting their hard feelings aside to take on their common enemy, TJ Perkins. Both men were recently defeated by Perkins, and would like to gain some measure of revenge. Knowing that Perkins’ most likely partners (Samoa Joe, Rocky Romero, and Ricky Reyes) were unavailable, HKK & Richards made the challenge thinking Perkins would receive no support on such short notice. However, that proved to be wrong, as TJ Perkins found the unlikely partner of Alex Shelley for August 19.
Also appearing “Smells Like Steen Spirit” will be Scott Lost, Disco Machine, Phoenix Star, Ronin, Gunning For Hookers (Hook Bomberry & Top Gun Talwar,) and more!
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s “Smells Like Steen Spirit” takes place at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC on Friday, August 19, 2005 at 8:00PM. The Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC is located at 1110 Bates Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90029. Tickets are only $15, and will be available at the door. For more information, please visit http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com or email info@prowrestlingguerrilla.com
