In celebration of the victory of Jinder Mahal’s victory at WWE Backlash to become WWE Champion, I honor the Maharaja by reviewing an episode of Championship Wrestling From Hollywood.
To watch this episode of Championship Wrestling From Hollywood, or to check out shows from promotions such as ROH and CMLL, check out the Fite TV app.
The show starts off with Kevin Condron (Jervis Cottonbelly) starts the show off by talking shit about Big Duke. Jeez, I wonder what will happen next? Will this lead to Duke entering the picture and interrupting Kevin Condom who will then do some terrible acting to pretend he’s afraid of Duke? Yup. That’s what happened. Duke called over the fake Marquez son, who was conveniently standing a few feet away.from the camera as this was being filmed. He tells them they were going to “botch this” (seriously, he said that) and proceeded to rant about some type of #30 spot in something. He also talked about Kevin Condron calling him wanting more TV time and stuff. There’s no explanation as to what this qualifying match was for until Condron explained it all, which shouldn’t been what the fake Marquez son should’ve done. Most viewers aren’t going to know what the fucking Red Carpet Rumble is or that there’s going to be a tournament with the finals being a Four Way match to get the #30 spot in the battle royal. I know, it sounds really stupid and contrived. So yeah, Condron is the special referee for Big Duke vs. someone. What a great way to start this show. I hope people can I tell I was being sarcastic with that last sentence.
Red Carpet Rumble #30 Spot Fatal Four Way Qualifier Match: Julius Coleman vs. Oliver Grimsly
The fake crowd noise overpowered the actual crowd noise. Whoever produces this show really needs to go fuck themselves for not only splicing in fake audio, but for not knowing how to do it correctly. Julius Coleman got some good offense in early on. Grimsly was pretty boring as a heel and didn’t really have any sort of offense that made him seem like anything but some generic indy guy who looks like a bootleg Juggalo. He got the win after hitting a lung blower in a pretty boring match. I sorta wish CWFH would just give up on the Grimsly push experiment they’re running. Yeah, I get it, they have a sister promotion in Arizona, he’s on it, cross promotions, tie overs, United Network, blah, blah, blah.
Ron Mathis vs. Peter Avalon
The was another pointless match where some random promotion nobody has heard of is “invading” Championship Wrestling From Hollywood without any real build up or reason behind it. This time its some dude with a “white trash” gimmick named Ron Mathis. Peter worked the match like an old school chicken shit heel like Ric Flair with his overselling and slow offense. Ron Mathis “Hulk’d up” after a bunch of basic shit, and had a comeback full of basic shit. Mathis wasn’t spectacular but he had lots of charisma that helped him get the crowd behind him. Peter won the match after some heel antics, giving CWFH another victory in their endless war against random dudes from irrelevant wrestling promotions trying to “invade” them. Oh, Tito Escondido was at the commentary table during this match. You could barely him at times. Great production from CWFH!
Post match shenanigans: Grant (who never comments on my articles but rudely tries to harass me at events) interviewed Peter Avalon. Grant wasn’t yelling as much this time. He did a good job at playing it straight and building up the match with Peter and Tito at the Red Carpet Rumble. See if he was like this more on television and learned some manners I wouldn’t hate him so much on this show. What also made it work was that he didn’t overshadow Peter, which is the biggest thing he’s always been guilty of as an interviewer. When Peter told him to beat it, it worked because Peter wasn’t the one trying to match the energy, and instead was the one who set the mood for the promo. Grant’s biggest problem is that; he sets the mood and has his energy so high that it overshadows the wrestlers. Fucking Mean Gene never did that shit until a heel riled him up.
Getting back tot he promo segment, the crowd was solidly behind Tito, and Peter was really doing a good job at being a heel. Peter got in Tito’s face and told him if he put his hands on him, there would be consequences. CWFH is pretty much doing a basic angle, but it works really well. This segment was well done. After that, we got a commercial for a phone sex line again. Why does David Marquez always have to sell smut on his program? How does KDOC all this to air on Saturday afternoons?
After a commercial break, we get another commercial where Joe Galli and Johnny Laquasto talk about an upcoming CWFH event
Red Carpet Rumble #30 Spot Fatal Four Way Qualifier Match (Special Guest Referee Kevin Condron): Suede Thompson vs. Big Duke
As usual, Suede does a bunch of stupid and lame hip-hop dance moves from 5 years ago. Condron also danced and wore some ridiculous looking shoes and tight pants. The story of the match was that Duke was upset at Condron for what happened at the Coastline Clash and wasn’t in the mood to put up with Suede’s bullshit. Condron started to fuck with Duke during the match by ordering him to stay back to help Suede make a comeback. Duke hit a sit out Spinebuster Powerbomb on Suede, got in Condron’s face in an effort to scare him, and then hit a running knee for the win to make Condron’s presence in the match completely pointless.
After a commercial break, the Pac 3 (Dylan Bostic, Dan Joseph, Dicky Mayer, and Coach Flexo) came out. Dicky Mayer wasn’t wearing an arm sling. Dylan Bostic got on the mic and started talking about how they couldn’t do it without someone. They tried to make it seem like they were talking about Dicky, but they were obviously talking about Coach Flexo. They then present a third United Tag Team Championship to “the guy who deserves it most” and gave it to Coach Flexo, faking out Dicky Mayer. Dicky was visibly upset by this. Flexo got on the mic and said that it was time to cut Dicky from the Pac 3 and took back his shirt. Flexo got in Dicky’s face and told him to get out of the ring before Dicky put his hands on Flexo. Pac 3 would jump Dicky for awhile before Ryan Taylor ran out to make the save. Dicky would try to go after the Pac 3, but was held back by Taylor. This was a well done segment, even if it were a bit predictable.
Somewhere backstage, Scorpio Sky is working on some shadowboxing before he is interrupted by some female reporter. I forgot which one. She tells him someone from another promotion wants to challenge him to a match. Who is he facing? What the fuck is going on with this show? Why is it so hard for them to book Sky’s title run to seem more important instead of having him put in throwaway matches with no build up? The creative team at CWFH fucking suck and need to start thinking things through.
After a commercial, CWFH’s resident Asian Reporter Tricia Shibata is interviewing Nate Wings from Rockstar Pro. If you’re wondering “who the fuck is Nate Wings and why is he getting a random title shot against Scorpio Sky?” I’m here to let you know that you’re not alone. Nate cuts a generic promo. He looked a little high in this promo. This was really corny.
United Wrestling Network Television Championship – Triple Threat Match: Scorpio Sky (c) vs. Nate Wings vs. Astro Viajero (Adrian Quest)
For some reason that wasn’t explained at all, Astro Viajero was added into the match.The match started with about eight minutes of television time remaining. Wings and Viajero had a nice exchange and had a nice showcase of his offense that included a middle rope springboard tumbleweed to the outside on Sky. Wings also had some cool offense and also hit a nice Asai Moonsault onto Sky and Viajero on the outside. There was some stuff he did that would be hard to describe, like bouncing off the ropes after a standing Shiranui and into a stunner. The formula was your standard three way match with various three man spots and two guys going at it while one was down. The fake crowd noise continues to be a pain in the ass and was distracting from the match. That shit seriously does no favors for this program or any of the workers on these shows. The finish saw Sky hit the Ace of Spades on Nate Wings to retain the title. After the match, Sky bailed out of the ring, grabbed his belt, and left abruptly.
This show overall was another mixed bag. The main event was pretty good, the Tito/Peter angle was done really well, and the storyline with Pac 3 kicking out Dicky Mayer was built up well and also gives the story some more stuff to work with. Everything else on the show was bad or boring. The booking continues to suck, and the shows seem like an unorganized clusterfuck of randomness. I say it time and time again, and I’ll keep saying it until things change, but Championship Wrestling From Hollywood needs to be changed completely.
Don’t just take my word for it. Check it out on the Fite TV app and decide for yourself.