By Silverback, PWG Staff Writer
Yosemite, California – At the “Tango & Cash Invitational” Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com) was crowned the Professional Wrestling “King Of Cola,” and then used our new title to crown the first ever PWG Tag Team Champions, B-Boy & Homicide! For those fans that may have missed the two greatest days of wrestling this universe has ever seen, PWG invites them to come “Taste The Radness” on Sunday, February 22, 2004 at the Santa Ana Elks Lodge! PWG’s next live event will feature 7 titanic matches, including:• Puma vs. Charles Mercury – After aligning himself with the Aerial Express, Charles Mercury has a new found self confidence that he previously lacked, a self confidence that enables him to take on seemingly insurmountable challenges, challenges such as defeating international superstar Puma in single competition. Puma, on the other hand, does not need the self confidence provided by teaming with ruffians and scalawags. He has the self confidence provided by years of training with some of the finest fighters and wrestlers in the world, which logic dictates would be enough to overcome any challenge presented by young Mercury. However, what tricks may Charles have up his sleeveless shirt sleeves?
• Havana Pitbulls vs. Sal & Vito Thomaselli – Both of these teams had impressive showings at the “Tango & Cash Invitational,” but unfortunately for them, were eliminated early on the second day of the tournament. However, a more interesting development occurred backstage, when the Pitbulls and the Thomasellis began to argue about which mother country had more culinary depth, Cuba or Italy? Frituritas de Malanga or Spaghetti & Meatballs? Havana Pitbulls or The Thomasellis? Whose cuisine will reign supreme?!
• Samoa Joe vs. Shannon Ballard – It is a little known fact that the entire US-Iraqi Military conflict was started not by the invasion of a small neighboring nation, but by an errant back swing during a golf outing with Former Presidents George Bush & Saddam Hussein in the late 1980’s. As Hussein was warming up, he drew his club back, not expecting someone to walk in his way. Someone did, and that someone was George Bush, who was struck in the face by the club, knocked unconscious, and ultimately lost a tooth! In a strange coincidence, Samoa Joe & Shannon Ballard, long time friends and even training partners in professional wrestling, are now at war with one another, when Samoa Joe’s golf club of tyranny, his foot, planted itself firmly in the face of Democracy, Shannon Ballard’s face! Don’t expect to see Shannon Ballard’s son coming along to finish this job some 10 years later, these men are prepared to settle their dispute on February 22!
• S.B.S. (Formerly Team Chismo; Super Dragon, Excalibur & Disco Machine) vs. Aerial Express (Scorpio Sky, Quicksilver & Chris Bosh) – Like a Guns N’ Roses documentary, the feud between SBS and the AXP has seen it’s share of violence, profanity, and debauchery, with violence and profanity leading the way. Originally, this battle was between Excalibur & Chris Bosh, but Quicksilver & Scorpio Sky, finding that their discontent had grown to proportions previously unknown to man, took advantage of a situation provided by Bosh to lash out at the entire PWG organization by attacking Excalibur. Not ones to stand back while their friend gets assaulted, Disco Machine & Super Dragon rushed to Excalibur’s aid, but unknowingly provided the spark to the powder keg of hatred, which was seated on the cart of wrath, pulled by the donkey of anger! The fuse is burning down and once the donkey cart explodes, who will survive?
• American Dragon vs. Bobby Quance – Like a fight between Darth Vader and Obi Wan Kenobi, this match is truly Teacher vs. Student. While Bobby Quance was a rookie, he received instruction and direction from American Dragon, but after American Dragon went off to sew his wild oats, Quance was left to drift aimlessly. Not for long, as fate would have it, because both men arrived at the New Japan Dojo at roughly the same time, continuing their training, increasing their knowledge of how to hurt people. American Dragon then went to Europe in order to learn the most effective way of placing another man’s legs behind their own head (the red lightsabre,) while Bobby Quance went to Mexico and learned the way of the arm drag (the blue lightsabre.) In this meeting of electro-swordsmanship, there can be only one Highlander!
PWG Tag Team Championship
• B-Boy & Homicide (c) vs. X- Foundation (Scott Lost & Joey Ryan) – Anyone that accuses Pro Wrestling Guerrilla of playing favorites is a jerk. PWG co-owners Scott Lost & Joey Ryan lobbied to Commissioner Paul T that the inaugural title defense of the PWG Tag Team Titles should be one that reflects the honor and prestige these titles are deserving of. Paul T thought about that, then also thought about who signs his checks, and nominated the X-Foundation to be the first ever challengers! Lost & Ryan, shocked and overjoyed at the prospect of getting another chance to win the titles, immediately began preparing for this opportunity with many hours of meditation in a Tibetan temple. When notified of who would be the first challengers to their titles, B-Boy and Homicide collectively agreed “Man, f— those stupid cracker a– b——!” Strong words, and even stronger dashes. Will the X-Foundation have what it takes to claim the belts, or will B-Boy & Homicide’s street wise natures be enough to overcome any challenge?
PWG Championship
No DQ Come-As-You-Are Chicago Street Fight
• “The Future” Frankie Kazarian (c) vs. “Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce – In the wild, when two majestic grizzly bears try to lay claim to the same territory, an earth shaking conflict undoubtedly will occur, often leaving one of the great beasts dead. Commissioner Paul T didn’t really want to see Frankie Kazarian or Adam Pearce wind up dead, so he allowed the two men to compete in any sort of match they wanted, except the dreaded Death Match. Therefore, after lengthy consultation with manager and attorney, C. Edward Vanderpyle, Adam Pearce chose the second most deadly match known to man, the No Disqualification Come-As-You-Are Chicago Street Fight. Frankie Kazarian was eager to accept this match, since every time these two men have squared off, Kazarian has come away with the victory, but due to deftly execute underhanded tactics, Pearce walked out on top. Finally, Frankie Kazarian has the opportunity to face the head on assault of Adam Pearce, but what role with the No Disqualifications clause play? Will Frankie be able to concentrate and mount an effective offense, or will Pearce get the gold he has been after since day one?
—–
Also available for pre-order is the 2-night, 4-disc “Tango & Cash Invitational” Tag Team Tournament DVD! For only $29.99 (plus $3.95 domestic shipping & handling/$9 for international orders.) That’s a $5.00 savings over the regular price! Visit http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com for more information! All orders will ship before February 22, 2004.
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s “Taste The Radness” takes place Sunday, February 22, 2004 at the Santa Ana Elks Lodge, at 5:00PM. The Santa Ana Elks Lodge is located at 212 S. Elk Lane, Santa Ana, CA 92701. Tickets are only $18, and are available online at http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com, or by mail (PWG Tickets, PO Box 1527, Temple City, CA 91780. Certified checks or money orders only, please.) For more information, please visit http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com or email info@prowrestlingguerrilla.com.
