XPW TV Recap – September 1st, 2001

» XPW TV this week starts off with the disappearance of The Messiah. Rob Black finds him 2 hours before the show and explains his ways. Messiah says he is leaving because he has failed, how can someone who came down from Heaven be the Deathmatch Champion? He came to rid XPW of sins, but became a sinner himself. Black gets pissed off that he won’t have a partner for the match at Damage INC. for control of XPW, so he leaves him a guardian angel. Rob Black looks at his guardian angel [who is off camera] and says, “I thought you were dead.” As he utters those words, The Messiah leaves.

» Kris Kloss and Larry Rivera introduce us to a new episode of XPW and discuss the odd happenings at Damage INC. Everything was on the line at the 2nd Anniversary Show, and The Messiah had to leave. He left the guardian angel with Black, and was revealed in the main event. This guardian angel was none other then former XPW Champion, “The Real Deal” Damien Steele. Before the main event, Black came out and said he was going to defend the title and the ownership of XPW himself. He got tired, left to the back, and then another Rob Black came out! Once the fake Black was revealed, New Jack carried out the true owner and tossed him in the ring! With the help of Damien Steele, “White Trash” Johnny Webb became the next member of The Black Army and the new XPW World Champion! Now Sabu and that “Lousy” Lazie are banished from Xtreme Professional Wrestling. Remember the weeks before the show, Black kept agreeing to giving Webb a shot at the TV Title, but he’d have to owe them something. This something was having to join The Black Army.

Also at Damage INC., Kaos became the first TV Title Champion, but more importantly, a member of The Enterprise! In the tournament, Black Army member Vic Grimes defeated the very over, “Ring Crew Guy” Leroy. Also, Konnan defeated “White Trash” Johnny Webb and Koas defeated the entire Enterprise. In a spectacular technical match, Kaos knocked out D from the TV Title Tourny. During the final match in the tournament, Supreme surprisingly came out with Kaos and Psychosis came out with Konnan. Even though Supreme had a cane with him, he had enough guts to come out. Once Kaos won the Tourny, The Enterprise came down to the ring! They get in the ring, and Kaos backstabs his uncle Supreme! This is possibly the most heinous act in XPW history, but what followed was even worse. The Enterprise dumped a whole carton of lighter fluid on Supreme, but the ring crew guys come in with the save.

» We go backstage with The Enterprise, and the new member Kaos. They talk trash about Supreme and him smelling like burnt bacon. Then Kaos begins to speak about him not wanting any part of Deathmatches, but Supreme had to stick his nose into his business. That’s why has gone where the money is… The Enterprise!

» We’re in Rob Black’s office with Damien Steele, now with black hair? All Steele remembers is being carried out by alter boys after fighting The Messiah last year. Black tells him that Vampiro wrestled for XPW, and now WCW is no longer around. He can’t even believe that ECW is dead! Black tells him George Bush is the president, again? Nope, his not too bright son is. Steele says that all we need to know is that Steele is Back In Black!

» Steele asks Rob Black about his outfit, since he’s been dead for a while. He says it’s okay, but he has one question… Do people still do the Macaraina? Black replies, “Sometimes”, which infuriates him and bans it from the XPW offices!

» Kloss and Rivera discuss New Jack’s feelings about the lack of respect he recieves. We go to the arena backstage where a ring crew guys says that he’s in a Number One Contender XPW TV Title match against Homeless Jimmy.

» [XPW TV Title Number One Contendership]: Homeless Jimmy WITH Major Gunns vs. New Jack
Jimmy attacks New Jack first with a keyboard, then a scooper! He attacks him with a roll of tape, but New Jack pulls out a stapler and staples Jimmy’s head THREE TIMES! He follows it up with a trash can shot to the head and sends Jimmy to the outside. He nails Jimmy with a construction sign that makes a load thud on his head! New Jack nails Jimmy in the crotch with a crutch and trash can lid! AHHHHHHHHHH! Next is a mini-pool table off the top rope! The ref counts to 2, then stops the count? Ron Head announces this is an elimination over the top rope battle royal, a new wrestler enters every 2 minutes!

[XPW TV Title Number One Contendership]: Battle Royal
Pogo the Clown comes in and dominates Homeless Jimmy! Then he rams New Jack in the stomach. Pogo whips New Jack, hits a huge clothesline, but Jimmy takes the clown with crutch! Damien 666 is the next one to come out! Both Damien 666 and Pogo the Clown dominate over New Jack and Homeless Jimmy. Jimmy then takes advantage of both Pogo and Damien 666, goes to the top rope, but gets knocked off! Next one who comes out is Halloween! Mexico’s Most Wanted take care of business, but don’t successfully dump Jimmy to the outside. Pogo goes to the outside and chases Major Gunns with a fishing net. Next out is Japan’s finest, NOZAWA! Mexico’s Most Wanted still control the match and Nozawa. Then, with the help from New Jack, Nozawa’s crotch is stapled! OH MY GOD OUT NEXT IS… ANGEEEEEEEEEL! Angel goes after Pogo The Clown to no avail! Pogo bitch slaps him a couple of times, and Mexico’s Most Wanted slap his bare and plump ass! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! After Pogo man handles him, KRAQ’S MUSIC HITS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Everyone team up on Kraq and Angel, as a result Kraq is eliminated. Now everyone teams up on Pogo and he’s eliminated! New Jack goes after Angel, all the time making fun of his homosexuality. Now Angel is eliminated and so is Nozawa. Then Halloween is eliminated! Homeless Jimmy now eliminates Damien 666. The two first participants are left, Homeless Jimmy and New Jack! New Jack reverses a splash into an over the top rope plancha into a table. JIMMY IS NOW ELIMINATED!
Winner and Number One Contender: NEW JACK

» We’re in Rob Black’s office when he calls Kevin Kleinrock and Angel in. Black gets pissed off and tells them to go outside and knock first. They leave and then are allowed to enter the spacious office. Rob Black tells Angel to clean up his office. Kevin starts to talk about Sabu and Lazie leaving the XPW and it’s time for partying. Black says that there are more important things to do, one of them is to take care of New Jack. Also he says that they need to take care of Damien Steele [since he’s not with the times]. Konnan needs to be put in his spot, they don’t want another Ceasar Chavez grape-picker situation. Even though “White Trash” Johnny Webb is a little goofy and slow, they need to program him into a proper Black Army champion.

» On the next XPW TV it will be announced when the next event will be going down. Rivera adds that Damage INC was a huge improvement from all the other shows and is an indication of things to come.

» We end off this episode with the sights and sounds from Damage INC, including the fan fest before the 2nd Anniversary Show. The music montage features TV Title Tournament, #1 Contendership for the TV Title Battle Royal, and the return of the “Real Deal” Damien Steele. » Right before they go off the air, Johnny Webb [the new XPW Champ] walks into Black’s office and thanks him for his the gold. But one thing is bothering Webb, why did he have to tap out to Konnan so quick? Black tells him no to worry because he has huge plans.