When Doves Cry

How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that’s so cold? (So cold)
Maybe I’m just 2 demanding
Maybe I’m just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you’re just like my mother
She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

Those words mean a lot to me. See, I just got wind that BLADE, the walking weapon, had left the SCWA. I know, I know. It’s got to be fake news, right? That’s what I thought. I shit you not, I shed a tear when I heard my man quit. I mean.


What could have drove former WCW Cruiserweight Champion Blade to doing this? I mean, Blade, brotha, what’s wrong?!

For those of you who don’t know who Blade is, well sir, Blade is GOD. Blade isn’t your regular wrestler. No, sir. Blade has been a child of the business since he was born to the infamous Tony Atlas. Yes, ma’am, Blade is the bastard child of Tony Atlas. When Blade was born in a gray, Chicago morning, his mother knew what kind of man he was going to be. She saw the gleam in his eye. She knew he was gonna make it big. Oh yes, this is a rags to riches tale folks!

The day Blade was born, he was born with 1 testicle. His mother named him Blade, knowing he’d be a natural at backyard wrestling. See, Blade didn’t have a too good of a childhood. Try being in kindergarten, and applying a headlock to your teacher. I mean, what kind of child goes through this? But throughout all his misery as a bastard child to the man who saw Bruiser Brody die, he rose above it all. Sort of like “the rose that grew from concrete.” Weird, eh?

Throughout his childhood, Blade practiced his wrestling moves, accomplishing a lot in his short life. Here are a little known facts you might have not known.

– Blade taught Mil Mascaras the hurricarana. Sure the hurricarana is older than Blade, but he he still created it. It’s true

– Blade was behind the 3rd Wrestle Mania. That’s right, he booked it all, baby!

– The whole Bret Hart/Survivor Series fiasco was simply a power move by Blade Blade and Bret have had heat ever since Bret took the Sharpshooter from Blade

– Blade created the N.W.O angle. It was originially planned out so Blade would team up with Nash and Hall, but you know Hogan and his politics

– Blade held the WCW Cruiserweight Championship for a solid year, only to go un-noticed by WCW Officials. Fucking Ted Turner and his politics

– Blade revolutionized the Japan wrestling scene, going into 5 star matches with the likes of Misawa, Kawada, Muto, Lyger, Vader, and more. It’s all him, baby.

Now that I got his childhood out of the way, YES FUCKER, HE DID ALL THIS WHILE HE WAS A MINOR!

Blade, already having sex numerous times a day, finally decides to make a name for himself in the world of Southern California wrestling. So he joins SCWA, the leading force in SoCal. But what happens? These degenerates call him a backyard wrestler. Do they not know the history of the walking weapon? I mean, BLADE REVOLUTIONIZED WRESTLING! These fans do not appreciate with Blade did for the business. Degenerates.

After months of carrying the SCWA on his shoulders, and establishing it as a legit promotion, he calls it quits. I don’t know why, man. I mean, WHY?!

I wish you all the best, Blade. You’ve inspired me to mow my lawn, and set up my mattresses in the back. You’ve inspired me to take out my sprinkers, and replace them with plastic chairs. Yes sir, I created a backyard fed. I like to call it XPW. We’re running at the Grand Olympic, on the 26th!


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