With Championship Wrestling From Hollywood always fucking lagging it when it comes to getting their shows uploaded onto the FITE TV app, I decided to just review one episode of this shit series this week. In this episode, production errors, awful commentary, boring wrestling, shitty Muhammad Ali shuffles, Asians being held down in Hollywood, Evan Daniels is not Joey Ryan, and stuff. Read the review, NOW.
Opening promo with Tyler Bateman somewhere talking about how he’s going to be putting his United Wrestling Network TV Title on the line in an open challenge gimmick match. This was a good way to start the show. Todd Keneley is back, unfortunately.
Evan Daniels vs. Sasha Darevko
First off, whoever was in charge of post-production needs to be fired because they put Joey Ryan’s name on the screen when Evan Daniels came out. I know all white people look alike, but this was just ridiculous.
So yeah, this match. Evan Daniels was pretty solid. The fake-Russian douche was terrible. I’ll give him some credit, he tried doing shit like a springboard elbow, but he just looks like shit all the time. The match was so boring when he controlled the match on offense. The shitty commentary and awful puns didn’t help make things tolerable. Nothing the fake-Russian douche and the commentary assclowns will ever do can make up for their awfulness. Their atrocious existence in pro wrestling is UNFORGIVABLE.
Beatrice Domino & Holidead vs. Ashley Grace & Heather Monroe
Match started off with Beatrice and Holidead attacking the babyfaces, then the babyfaces made a quick comeback. Then Ashley Grace got beat up for awhile. Typical heel vs. babyface formula, with Ashley Grace getting the HOT TAG spot and Heather Monroe coming in with BABYFACE FIRE to clear the ring. Then it broke down and it ended when Heater Monroe hit her with a Bicycle Kick. The commentator lied and said this was an amazing contest. It wasn’t really good. It wasn’t bad either. It was just, eh. Still a trillion times more better and more fun to watch than anything the fake-Russian douche has ever done.
Post match shenanigans: The commentators talk. They’re awful. Then some dork who ISN’T JOSH SHIBATA interviews Ashley Grace and Heather Monroe. They talk about Ruby Raze. Heather Monroe is gonna face her sometime I guess. k. Fuck this interviewer though for taking Josh’s spot. Just another example of the round eye holding the Asians back in Hollywood.
Dan Joseph (w/ the Pac 3) vs. Julius Coleman
Basic shit to start, with the Pac 3 continuing to be intolerable. Coleman just did a bunch of arm drags. There were retarded ass shenanigans wight he Pac 3. Julius Coleman won this boring ass match. Meh. Fuck the Pac 3. Hey, TV network people if you’re reading this, get those assholes off your station. They’re fucking garbage and their characters make no sense. Tell the dickweeds writing these sorry ass shows to cut them along with the fake-Russian douche.
Backstage we have Josh Shibata, the best interviewer this shitty show has had since Cathy Kelley left, interviewing bookerman Yuma. Josh asks the bookerman if he knows anything about the mysterious video shit that’s been the center of some storyline the booker booked himself in where him, his wife, and his kid are being stalked. He then talks about a match he’s gonna have with the fake-Russian douche. That should be terrible. Then a video plays on the TV. Yuma does some shitty acting and doesn’t seem to do the logical thing by going to the production or control room. Dude can’t even fucking book himself right. Fuck this shit, you people should just watch Bryan Alvarez and Tom Lawlor talking about The Final Deletion 2 – Delete or Decay. Viva Vanguard 1!
Jorel Nelson vs. Manny Castillo
Holy fucking shit I wish Jorel Nelson would stop with the bullshit-ass wannabe Muhammad Ali foot shuffles. Even worse was Todd Keneley’s puns. On top of his unfunny commentary, Todd Keneley totally puts the other commentator dork on blast for not saying anything for a few seconds. This match was boring. Manny Castillo wasn’t bad, but holy fuck, I HATE JOREL NELSON’S PUNCHES AND ALI SHUFFLE. Holy fucking shit that is the worst shtick going in pro wrestling right now. Castillo started to attack the leg of Nelson for awhile. Jorel Nelson won after no-selling the leg work by Castillo and hit a sloppy looking tope rope elbow drop for the win. Fuck this shit. Jorel Nelson seriously needs to stop with the Ali shit. I’m not even fucking playing right now. It’s awful, his punches are awful, and his shuffle is awful. Shuffle that fucking shit out of your moveset.
Backstage, Josh Shibata is by a door waiting to see who is gonna answer Tyler Bateman’s challenge. It’s Espiritu.
Pac 3 are now at ringside at the commentary table. Fucking Christ. The whistle blowing douche who looks like he’s on steroids yells about Joey Ryan. Fuck, the only thing worse than Joey’s constant attempts to be funny and viral is a segment with the Pac 3 doing guest commentary alongside Todd Keneley. Fuck this garbage. I don’t want to write more about this, so this video perfectly sums up my feelings about this.
Joey Ryan vs. Dicky Mayer (w/ Pac 3)
There were stupid fucking shenanigans in this involving the Pac 3, as usual, and Joey Ryan did his usual schtick minus the dick spot. The match itself was solid, but all the stupid antics were really unfunny and killed the match. Fuck the Pac 3. Joey also has better matches when he’s not doing that stupid dick move spot. That’s really all I can say about the match. Joey won. After the match, we got another commercial advertising Butt Naked Wonda, Big Brotha Thunda and The Masta Blasta boomboxes.
United Wrestling Network Television Championship Match: Tyler Bateman (w/ Jarek 1:20) (c) vs. Espiritu
This started out with Bateman slowly working over Espiritu, and Espiritu doing a bunch of lucha shit. The pace was really slow for most of the match up until the last two minutes, with Jarek 1:20 getting involved in the match. Tyler Bateman got the win after a bunch of shenanigans to retain the title. Todd Keneley made a bunch of stupid carnival puns after the match. Holy fucking shit this guy is STILL awful. In fact, he’s actually getting worse.
Final Thoughts
This shit was boring. The Yuma angle is also fucking lame and makes no sense. The way this shit story has been written has been done in a way where it’s something that could easily be resolved and concluded by the end of one episode. It’s honestly not surprising to me when I hear several people telling me about how disgruntled various wrestlers in Championship Wrestling From Hollywood are with the product and the booking. No, I’m not joking. I’m not making this up, CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING FROM HOLLYWOOD HAS WRESTLERS WHO ARE DISGRUNTLED BECAUSE OF THE SHITTY BOOKING THAT ONLY PUTS OVER GUYS IN CREATIVE. I’m not talking about scrubs that don’t belong on TV, I’m talking about fans actually enjoy watching and wrestlers who have been around for more than a minute.
The rest of the show itself was just a bunch of nothing. No follow up to the Vermin split, nothing that helped further advance and build the Peter Avalon vs. Tito Escondido match, Todd Keneley is fucking awful, and none of the matches had any real meaning. Oh, and how about that fucking production fuck up with Evan Daniels’? What kind of low-rent bullshit is this?
