:::Editor’s Note:::
These reviews although entertaining for some, are not what I was hoping for when Andrew volunteered to review CWFH Television. In my opinion, the personal nature of the attacks take away from the true critique that I was initially hoping for. In retrospect, these articles should have never been published. However in the spirit of being Uncensored, they will remain on the site. – Jay
:::Author’s Note:::
While Jay Cal might claim that what I say in my reviews are “personal attacks” and such, they simply are not. Anyone who feels that way is reading into things too deeply. While he may be the E.I.C. here on SCU and can dictate what does and doesn’t belong on the site, he shouldn’t be incorrectly telling you, the reader, what the intent of my comments and reviews were. It should also be noted that Jay Cal is friends with people inside Championship Wrestling From Hollywood and some of the workers on these shows. In the spirit of being Uncensored, you, the reader, deserve to know the truth instead of having someone slandering my writings to influence your opinions by twisting other people’s words. – Andrew
Many moons ago, there was a show called NWA Championship Wrestling From Hollywood that was reviewed by a wonderful writer named Andrew. His reviews were beloved by many in the offices of NWA Hollywood. Now we fast forward to 2016. The NWA name is gone, but the show remains the same. Championship Wrestling From Hollywood is no longer that company putting on bad TV shows in front of a bunch of empty seats in Orange County and some old movie theatre in Hollywood. Instead they’re now that company putting on bad TV shows in some other half-empty movie theatre, except somewhere near Oxnard now. Has this show gotten better, or is it still the same old wannabe 80’s suckfest it was when it first came on the air? Let’s find out! Oh yeah, ZANDIG PROMOS!
Championship Wrestling From Hollywood: Episode 243
This episode starts off with Cathy Kelley interviewing the fake Russian Brandon aka Sasha Darevko. He’s always begging me to review his bullshit. Careful what you wish for, pal. Brandon tries to insult Cathy Kelley in his shitty fake Russian accent by implying she gained weight, wasn’t going to the gym, and says Americans are fat. Ironic since Brandon has visible stretch marks that can easily be seen on my 55” TV. His muffin top looks like a road map. Anyways, his promo sucked. Not even a minute into this show and it already sucks ass. The updated intro is nice though, I will say that.
PP3 Cup Qualifying Match: Kevin Martenson vs. Joey Ryan
This is a tournament match in the Percy Pringle The 3rd Cup. Both these guys are members of the same stable, Vermin. The San Gabriel Valley’s own Joey Ryan and Kevin Martenson (who use to be Johnny Goodtime) do antics. After awhile they get serious. This match really wasn’t that good. The action looked clumsy and awkward for most of the match. it seriously seemed like neither guy was on the same page. Joey did a really shitty looking Kimura from half guard in this and I’m very disgusted by it. I’ve noticed that pro wrestlers are really terrible at trying to make Jiu-Jitsu techniques look good in wrestling matches. This match really wasn’t good and the story was lame. Both guys can do better, but at the same time I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t try their hardest in this match. I wouldn’t either if I was wrestling in front of 20 people in Oxnard. Get them paychecks boys!
Backstage we have James Morgan cutting a generic babyface promo. He’s gonna be the best TV champion eva baybay! He ain’t no Zandig, man.
PP3 Cup Qualifying Match: Jarek 1:20 vs. Eli Drake
So Eli Drake use to be Shaun Ricker. What the fuck is with all the name changes in this place? Jarek 1:20 has a weirdo gimmick. What the fuck does “1:20” mean? This was a basic, boring “TV-style” match. Eli Drake won. This shit went like 4 minutes or something but it felt longer.
Post match shenanigans: Eli Drake is interviewed by a dork at ringside. Cuts a generic promo. This show is so bland and boring. The entrance set looks nice.
Classic Connection (Levi Shapiro & Buddy Royal) vs. Jared Vargas & Alexander Bernard
Right off the bat, I can’t stand the Classic Connection’s gimmick. For fuck’s sake, the throwback shit needs to die already. This was going to be an obvious squash as Jared Vargas & Alexander Bernard didn’t get an entrance. They got the old “obvious losers already in the ring” introduction while their opponents got an entrance. Even the commentators buried Jared Vargas & Alexander Bernard during the match. The Classic Connection wrestle like typical boring “old school workers” do. This match sucked.
PP3 Cup Qualifying Match: Sasha Darevko vs. Mike Camden
So as the last match was ending and the show went to commercial, the announcers said we were going to see Cedric King vs. Eric Watts next. Instead we get Brandon a.k.a. Sasha Darevko vs. Mike Camden. As I mentioned earlier, Brandon always begs me to review his shit. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Mike Camden needs to become more than just a generic babyface. Like the guy comes out and is just some guy. I’m not saying he should get a stupid ass, played-out gimmick like Brandon’s fake-Russian schtick (I bet that motherfucker has never done Sambo in his life). Also, whoever the “heel” commentator who said Camden looked like a gas station clerk was a fucking idiot since he buried a talent on the show the fans are supposed to get behind. Burying talent is my job, asshole. This match was boring. Brandon sucks. The way he worked over the leg of Camden looked like utter shit and his heel work was so lame. Zero fucks given.
Backstage; Cathy Kelley is with Peter Avalon and they talk about his match with Brian Myers. Peter cut a generic promo about “respect.”
CWFH Hollywood Heritage Championship Match: Peter Avalon (c) vs. Brian Myers
They did an angle where Brian Myers attacked Peter Avalon on a previous episode to build this match. Myers use to be known as Curt Hawkins in WWE during a time I wasn’t watching WWE so I have no idea who he is. This is another generic TV-style match as Myers slows the pace down and uses cheap tactics since he’s the heel, with Avalon making comebacks. Whoever was editing/directing this episode decided it was a good idea to go to commercial as soon as Peter was making his comeback. That was fucking stupid of them! So Myers controls the match a bit after commercial, and we don’t know what happened. Stupid. The match is slow, Myers talks a bit, and there was very little heat. Peter does a comeback before the finishing sequence where he hit his finisher for the win. After the match, Peter celebrates and the dorks on commentary close this shit episode.
Championship Wrestling From Hollywood: Episode 244
This episode starts off with a backstage dork who isn’t Cathy Kelley hyping a tag match and interviewing Classic Connection. They cut a stupid promo. They call Los Primos Rivera “J-Lo backup dancers” and refer to Tag Game Strong as Tag Game Weak. These guys are fucking lame. Tag Game Strong interrupt the promo and all four guys do some bad acting where they pretend they want to fight each other. This episode is already off to a rough start.
PP3 Cup Quarter-Final Match: Rocky Romero vs. James Morgan
I was looking forward to this match seeing as it has Rocky Romero in it. Romero worked over James Morgan’s arm for the opening part of the match, and when Morgan got on offense he forgot to sell Romero’s arm work. Nice. Rocky held the match together and got the victory in a quick opener. Rocky was solid in this performance, while Morgan hurt the match by forgetting to sell the arm work of Rocky. The heel commentator named Troy is really fucking annoying. Fuck that guy.
Awful promos time! A bunch of guys in the PP3 Cup cut promos. Everybody sucked here. They should learn how to cut promos like Zandig so they can stop sucking on the mic.
PP3 Cup Quarter-Final Match: Kevin Martenson vs. Sasha Darevko
So Brandon decided to sorta update his fake-Russian gimmick by getting Sasha Darevko an Adidas tracksuit. This was a weak heel vs. heel comedy match. Outside of Kevin Martenson doing some cool offense, this match sucked.
Backstage now with that dork that’s not Cathy Kelley interviewing Jarek 1:20. They talk about Tyler Bateman not being around since he lost a match to The Hobo. Jarek says him and Tyler are going to “rise above” and that “everyone will pay” or some shit.
Bad Dude Tito vs. Manny Castillo
Tito Escondido is obviously going to win as Manny Castillo got the jobber treatment. Tito was good on offense, but the Manny kid fucked up a lariat spot. Honestly I wish this match was just Tito tossing around and killing a generic kickpad wearing dork. That boy didn’t need those hope spots going up against a dude who looks like the fucking son of Machete. C’mon man.
Post match shenanigans: Tito is interviewed by that dork in the ugly suit. I think his name is Grant. Whatever, he’s awful and irrelevant. Tito says 2016 is going to be his year. Then Eli Drake cuts a promo backstage about the tournament. These promos need more Zandig. In fact, everyone needs more Zandig in their life.
Los Primos Rivera (Gino & Danny Rivera) vs. The Classic Connection (Levi Shapiro & Buddy Royal) vs. Tag Game Strong (Cedric King & Leo Blaze)
So Los Primos Rivera are Danny Limelight and Seville The Thrill. Their gimmicks are that they’re loudmouth Puerto Ricans from New York. Gino is annoying and looks like a shaved bird. The match starts off with a poorly timed, overly choreographed, and poorly executed spot. Whoever edited/directed this show missed Leo Blaze’s dive. Good fucking work guys! Leo Blaze got beat up by the heel teams until he made a hot tag to Cedric King. This match was pretty weak. I have to be honest, I didn’t come up with that shaved bird line. I was actually watching “Big Momma’s House” before I started these reviews and that line by Martin Lawrence was classic. But yeah, this match. No buys.
PP3 Cup Quarter-Final Match: Eric Watts (w/ Ty Matthews) vs. Dan Joseph
So there’s some type of angle I guess between Dan Joseph and the timekeeper, who is also the backstage dork named Grant. This match was bad. Watts won. The announcers suck.
Post match shenanigans: Dan Joseph gets back up after a replay of Watts winning, completely no selling his finish. The douche named Troy interviews Dan Joseph because the dork Grant doesn’t want to. That Troy guy looks like a missing Butabi brother and seems like the kind of guy who would slip something in a girl’s drink. Not saying he has, but he just comes off that way. The fans agree with me that Troy looks like an idiot and chant “Troy looks stupid” and he leaves with Dan Joseph. Fuck, I’m glad he’s gone from commentary, but disappointed knowing that he’s probably going to be back later.
PP3 Cup Quarter-Final Match: Big Duke vs. Eli Drake
This was a short, boring and basic match. They had a fucked finish where Big Duke hit Eli Drake with a lariat, went for the pin and Eli kicked out but the referee counted the pin fall. Show ends with Eli Drake complaining. Weak. There was a fan in the front row who was paying more attention to his phone than he was this match. I think that pretty much says it all about this one.
Championship Wrestling From Hollywood: Episode 245
The commentary dorks are at ringside in front of the two dozen fans in attendance. That Troy dork is in the background. Ugh. The unfunny, aborted fetus Stu Stone made his return. These shows always have the worst opening segments.
PP3 Cup Semi-Final Match: Kevin Martenson vs. Big Duke
This match was pretty slow and basic to start. Big Duke got some cool offense in on Kevin Martenson. During the match, Eli Drake came out and caused a distraction. He was complaining about losing to Big Duke, which allowed Martenson to take advantage and win. Stu Stone was annoying on commentary during this match. This show is seriously a whole bunch of ridiculous fuckery.
Backstage with Cathy Kelley! She’s joined by Ty Matthews and Eric Watts. They talk about power of positivity and aggression or something. This promo sucked, but Cathy was great.
PP3 Cup Semi-Final Match: Rocky Romero vs. Eric Watts (w/ Ty Matthews)
This was a typical big man with heel manager vs. smaller babyface type match. Eric Watts was in control for a portion of the match and kept things really slow for awhile until Rocky Romero made a comeback. Match was basic, nothing really noteworthy. Rocky advances to the finals.
Post match shenanigans: Rocky was attacked by Watts. That Grant dork is backstage with two other dorks who are called the Marquez Brothers. They talk about some guy named Falco and talk about Peter Avalon. They bring in Peter, and they announce that he won an all-expenses paid vacation to anywhere in the world he wants to go to, but that he’ll have a title defense when he gets back. That Grant dork spazes out. This shit could use more Zandig.
Julius Coleman vs. Jorel Nelson
Jobber treatment for Jorel Nelson but he was able to get some offense in and the victory. Julius Coleman moved around a lot and seemed decent. One of the dumbass commentators called Nelson a “southpaw.” Whoever that was obviously doesn’t know what the fuck “southpaw” means and is a massive fucking idiot. Oh, and Stu Stone still sucks. Overall this wasn’t an interesting match. It was just a nothing match that wasted time.
Timothy Thatcher vs. JR Kratos
Before the match starts, Stu Stone tries to show how topical he is with his comedy by making a shitty “Making A Murderer” reference. Man he fucking sucks. Anyways, this match went about six minutes and was a neat little shoot/catch-style match. It’s a shame this match was on a show like this because if this went longer it could’ve been way better. Instead, we only get basic ass matches that get zero time and lots of shitty promos. Of the three episodes I’ve watched, this was the best match from those three episodes. Timothy Thatcher shined in this, and his groundwork was excellent. It’s a shame TV wrestling is produced by idiots who don’t know anything about making exciting television, as this could’ve been really good.
PP3 Cup Finals: Kevin Martenson vs. Rocky Romero
So the story of this is Rocky Romero is still hurting from being attacked by Eric Watts in their earlier match, and Kevin Martenson works that over. Eventually Rocky makes a comeback and the match ends up going back-and-forth and Rocky wins. After the match Dave Marquez presented him with the trophy Urn. The match was fine. Not bad, but not very exciting. Could’ve been way better, but again, this is CWFH. No room for excitement and no great matches allowed here.
Final Thoughts
Man, this series still sucks. Episode 243 was rough to watch, and episode 244 was a dud. Episode 245 had two good matches, but at the same time the pacing of the shows are just so slow and boring that it’s hard to enjoy them. I know Dave Marquez doesn’t really give a shit about good wrestling and is all about putting on a television program, but even as a TV program, this shit sucks. The commentary sucks, the booking sucks, the stories suck, the crowd sucks, the environment sucks, nearly everything sucks! Timothy Thatcher vs. JR Kratos and Rocky Romero vs. Kevin Martenson were the two best matches of this set of shows, but that’s not saying much.
ANDREW, Can you give your comments without the fowl language
No.
These reviews read as someone who is desperately trying to be funny but routinely comes up short. Tom walters, you are definitely not.
Say what you want about my comedy, it doesn’t change the fact that these shows still suck ass.
So, this is what internet journalism is now, eh? Opinions are all fine and well, but, I feel bad if they pay you to put up shit like this. lol. I see why SCU is such a joke now
Donald’s just mad that I didn’t praise IWL 🙁
Not really, I’m sadder that you “write” for a wrestling site, yet your writing skills are stuck in the sad baby throwing a tantrum stage of life.
What’s really sad is that a low-level indy wrestling hanger-on like you is butthurt over my opinions. Really, the only ones throwing tantrums like a baby are the neckbeard having dorks like you bitching about my reviews.
I’m more offended you call this an article. I barely even watch the show, kid. I’m not hurt, couldn’t give less of a shit about a smarks opinion on anything. Just passing yourself off like you’re a writer is abysmal.
Also, I’ve never had a neckbeard genius. You should really go to some sort of schooling if you’re going to continue to pretend you’re anything more thasn than a sad little boy trying to play big boy on the internet. Like you do.
http://www.socaluncensored.com/board/showthread.php?p=144502#post144502
Come post on the board, Donald. Let’s talk there.
Andrew writes a little review that nobody reads. Ever seen a vagina, Andrew? Probably not, loser.
I saw your mom’s lulz
Such a clever come back.
Not as clever as your original post!
I thought I would use simple language because after reading your review I figured you had the education of a snail. “This match sucked” really well written article. Troll.
I’m not going to claim my article was well written, but it’s real and honest. Sorry you’re butthurt that the show sucked and I was honest. Enjoy your weekend sweet cheeks <3 xoxo
Sure but then again your painful to read reviews are aswell. They are not only obnoxious, unfunny and unoriginal but also a general waste of your time (mine too).
And now for something a bit more constructive – try to pepper in some humor now and then when it calls for it and your reviews will improve. Too much forced “wit” / attention seeking.
When my reviews start losing hits I’ll take your advice into consideration <3
PS thanks for helping make this one of the most popular SCU articles in recent history!
That’s probably the saddest statement I’ve ever read. lol. I suppose being a piece of shit to people means something to you kid
I like how having an opinion that doesn’t fall in line with what you want makes me a piece of shit. Yeah, that sounds about right. Good work, Neckbeard.
There’s a difference between having an opinion, and writing an article like a scorn little bitch who didn’t get a blowjob from his cousin. And, you’re writing style, and education truly shows by making the “neckbeard” comment, 3 times, to someone whom isn’t a little hipster twat like yourself. Andrew, Jay, Mark, whatever your name is this week.
Also, pretty professional trolling your own article. It’s pretty sad. I think I’ve given you enough attention, since I prefer to not play with the handicapped like you, I’ll take my leave. So, feel free to call me neckbeard, midget, or anything else that doesn’t apply to me, but, makes you feel like your faggy little articles actually, ever, even once in your life can ever amount to anything. Maybe then, just maybe,m your mommy will hug you, and accept you.
http://www.socaluncensored.com/board/showthread.php?p=144502#post144502
Come post on the board, Donald. Let’s talk there.
Wow, you really flipped it on me.
I guess I was right about you being more concerned with attention then actually writing a decent article. This is a prime example of how awful SCU has gotten now vs when steve was running the site on a regular basis.
You’re welcome.
Hot Tub Guy likes my review, so I really don’t care what you think, “Withheld,” if that is your real name.
DaShawn? REALLY? You’re level of success is a smelly slow kid who sits in a hot tub with his fat tits jiggling? This explains a shit ton!
You know, you called me a piece of shit for my reviews, but you’re the fucking asshole for trying to talk shit on someone you described as slow. I don’t know Shawn, but I look at him as a fellow human being and I’ve heard nothing but nice things about him from several respected figures in the scene. Go fuck yourself, Neckbeard.
Neckbeard, again? I do not think you know what those two, very simple, elementary words mean there cocksman.
http://www.socaluncensored.com/board/showthread.php?p=144502#post144502
Come post on the board, Donald. Let’s talk there.
Andrew’s job isn’t to put people over its to tell the truth based off of his opinions, I agree with his reviews. CWFH reminds me of WWF Superstars from 1995 Erik Watts is a lot like Waylon Mercy you know what I mean? Nobody cares about 4 squash matches and a less then par main event. Champion Squash matches from Hollywood is like sifting through dirt trying to find a golden nugget but instead getting a flake and getting excited about it like that flake will make you a rich man. 4 weeks of generic shitty wrestling to get a decent 10 minute match once a month. Keep defending the format and keep marking out for your Golden Flake. They have tons of talent on the roster but this show is stuck in 1995 it doesn’t do anything except get wrestlers excited about being on a TV Show for 5 minutes once a week. As a fan if you legitimately support CWFH I’m wondering logically if you were mad that WWF never came out with a Mantaur T-Shirt? If you read the review there is a shitload of cons. Instead of hating one mans opinion try coming up with you own along with 5-10 pros to support why one man’s opinion is harsh, biased and far from the truth. I support honesty not a bunch of haters that are mad because the reputation of their exclusive fan club has been tarnished. At least Andrew writes his reviews based off of his opinions and not a PR office that has absolutely no logical rebuttal’s that can be explained.
I will be honest, I was always pissed the WWF wouldn’t have any TL Hopper Goon, or Alex “The Pug” Pourteau t-shirts at live events as a kid.
Hi,
Saw this article on reddit. Never heard of this promotion before. Where can I check out the show? Thank you. Also great site. I love PWG and I’m not sure how I haven’t seen this site before.
You can go to https://www.patreon.com/unitedwrestling?ty=c and pay or you can watch it on TV if you live in LA on KDOC on Saturday’s at 4pm.
I’m so tired of people hating people on a professional wrestling website that I have the upmost respect for. This is a debating website and Kudos to Andrew for bringing this website back to what it is. Everyone shits on Andrew more then they shit on Gary Yap’s Black Man. Everyone Shits on Socaluncensored more then a lot of stuff. I got three words for you CLICK CLICK CLICK You still come here. So Instead of the IM NOT A FAG YOUR A FAG comments debate the guy that wrote the article otherwise you sound like a bunch of douchebags that work for the Orange County Register
Stop talking shit about Sean.