By Silverback, PWG Staff Writer
San Simeon, CA – After Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s (http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com) Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament, Commissioner of Wrestling Dino Winwood was feeling a little bit off. Slurred speech, swerving while walking or driving, loss of appetite, dehydration, it was clear by the end of the day last Monday that something was wrong. Which is why Dino waited until Tuesday to get things checked out. Fortunate that he acted when he did, Dino was diagnosed with suffering from acute Heat Exhaustion, and had he waited just five more minutes before being submerged in ice to rapidly cool his core temperature, he would have lost total functionality of his brain. It was the first case of it’s kind, where the symptoms persisted over a series of days without catastrophic side effects, and so serious that there will be an article about the newly named “Dino Winwood Syndrome” in the August/September issue of the New England Journal of Medicine and Carpentry (the premiere bimonthly publication that competes simultaneously with both the New England Journal of Medicine and This Old House).Because of the commissioner’s near-death experience, Dino has decreed that no more Pro Wrestling Guerrilla events will be held during a heatwave. Along with that, all venues will be required to provide adequate ventilation and refreshment for the Commissioner and his staff. While Dino has big plans for the way things will be run, due to the bureaucratic nature of Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, these changes will not be implemented until 2011 at the earliest. As a stopgap measure, Dino has scheduled It’s It (What Is It?), taking place on June 8, 2008 at 5:00PM, to be held at American Legion Post #308 in Reseda, CA, which is rumored to have an Air Conditioning unit on the premises, though the validity of that statement has not been verified. It’s It (What Is It?) is scheduled to feature:
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Title Match
Jack Evans & Roderick Strong vs. Chris Hero & Necro Butcher (with Candice LeRae)
— While Dino Winwood would have you believe he was the only one who suffered during the DDT4 weekend, newly crowned PWG World Tag Team Champions Jack Evans and Roderick Strong had to contend with not only the heat, but also with three other teams vying for the right to call themselves undisputed champions. After making it all the way to the final round, only one team stood in the path of Evans and Strong, and that was then-champions El Generico and “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen. After a hard-fought battle that pushed both teams very nearly to their breaking point, Evans and Strong were able to isolate Steen, score the pinfall, and become twentieth Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Champions. This is Roderick’s Strong’s third reign as champion, and Jack Evans’ first.
With new champions crowned, the next logical step is to find challengers for the title. However, at DDT4, all of the logical contenders received an opportunity to, at the very least, earn a title shot, so that leaves Dino Winwood with a tough choice. Does he make an illogical decision, or just an unlikely one? Well, since both Necro Butcher and Chris Hero have been chomping at the bit for a shot at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Champion Human Tornado, and Tornado refuses to vacate the title or release physical custody of the belt, Dino Winwood had an epiphany. “Why not tell the two guys that want title shots that they ARE getting a title shot, but just don’t tell them which title they’re getting a shot at.” Dino said to himself. Luckily for Dino Winwood, on top of being allies, Chris Hero and Necro Butcher know a huge opportunity when they see one, which is why on June 8 at It’s It (What Is It?), Hero and Necro intend on becoming the twenty first Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Champions!
Singles Match
Austin Aries vs. El Generico
— After losing the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Titles at DDT4, El Generico had become despondent, spiraling downward into a world of tortas and horchata. Losing the titles for a near-record fourth time, Generico was certain that his career could never get back on track, so why not attempt to drown himself in a punch bowl filled with thick, yogurt-y, flavorful refreshment? Fortunately for El Generico and the wrestling world, Commissioner of Food & Beverage Excalibur was on one of his company funded culinary research trips to Mexico when he stumbled upon the generic luchadore covered from toe to tip with Horchata, sputtering, and mumbling incoherently. Despite his ill will toward El Generico’s tag team partner Kevin Steen, over the course of the last three days in a very touching scene reminiscent of The Princess Bride where Fezzik nurses Inigo Montoya back to health, Excalibur nursed El Generico back to health. And just as Generico was about to return to his life a rehabilitated man, the Commissioner of Food & Beverage dropped a bombshell. This treatment was not free. Excalibur is not running a bed and breakfast out of his office. Someone has to pay for this water, gruel and comprehensive medical care, and it sure isn’t coming out of the Food & Beverage budget. However, there was a plan. A payment plan.
To work off his debt, El Generico would continue to wrestle for Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, but every time he wins a match and “visits the pay windah,” his purse will be given to the office of Food & Beverage. In order to expedite payment of Generico’s debt, Excalibur has lined up a series of matches that could very quickly put El Generico back into title contention, and the first match in that series will take place on June 8 against Austin Aries. Aries had two impressive performances at DDT4, and despite losing to Davey Richardson Night 2, Austin Aries finds himself on the periphery of the title hunt. A victory here over former World Champion Generico could do wonders for Aries’ ranking once the title situation is resolved, but a victory for Generico could not only help pay off his debt, but also return the generic luchadore to the top of Pro Wrestling Guerrilla.
Singles Match
“New Guy” Brandon Bonham vs. Davey Richards
— “Sorry brah, surf’s up! Maybe next time!” was the message left on Dino Winwood’s voicemail the day of DDT4 from Brandon Bonham, who, next to Owen Steen, holds the best win-loss record in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla today. The thought of fame and glory gained in gladiatorial combat proved to be no match for the sea’s siren song that day, and just like legendary Bohdi, Brandon Bonham paddled out, and no one thought to ever see him again. Which made his return to land among light chop 45 minutes later all the more surprising. As it turns out, surfing does not pay Brandon Bonham’s bills, but wrestling does. Since Bonham has six other days a week to dedicate to surfing, the least he could do is spend one day earning enough to pay rent on his seaside shack and keep the surf wax flowing. Disgusted at Bonham’s laissez faire approach to professional wrestling, Davey Richards has taken it upon himself to teaching PWG’s hottest prospect a very hard lesson. Men like Davey Richards dedicate their life to the sport of professional wrestling, and that lives room for little else, especially something as trivial as surfing. In order to reach the apex of the professional wrestling world, one must dedicate himself to the sport 100%. Will Richards find an apt pupil in young Bonham, or will the “New Guy” teach Davey to “relax, brah?”
Tag Team Match
The Dynasty (Scott Lost & Joey Ryan) vs. Los Luchas (Phoenix Star & Zokre)
— Going in to DDT4 as one of the favorites, Scott Lost and Joey Ryan were as surprised as everyone else to be eliminated by the debuting team of El Blazer & KAGETORA. They were even more surprised when they realized that Los Luchas, a team many believed to be underdogs, had made it to the second round. Was it the lack of Jade Chung‘s managerial guidance that lead to the loss, or was The Dynasty just simply outwrestled by their Japanese competitors? Unwilling to take this loss lying down, Scott Lost and Joey Ryan are setting their sights once again on the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team titles, but so are Los Luchas. Phoenix Star and Zokre were defeated in the second round by eventual tournament winners Jack Evans and Roderick Strong, and they would like nothing more to get a rematch, especially with the titles on the line. With Jade Chung still recovering from her injury at the hands of Super Dragon, The Dynasty will once again have to fight this one on their own. Will their cunning and guile make up for the advantage of speed and agility that Los Luchas have, or will their missing manager prove to be the key to The Dynasty’s success?
Singles Match
Hook Bomberry vs. Scorpio Sky
— On the second night of DDT4, against doctor’s orders, Scorpio Sky‘s tag team partner Ronin made the gutsy (and in hindsight, ill-advised) decision to attempt to compete. But prior to the beginning of the match, Hook Bomberry flung a chair at Ronin’s already injured knee, taking him out of the match and putting the big man from Monrovia on the shelf for an indefinite length of time. Looking to avenge his fallen partner, Scorpio Sky will take on Hook Bomberry in singles competition, an arena where Sky has proven himself to be highly capable. With TJ Perkins out of the state on June 8, Hook Bomberry will have to wrestle for the first time since returning to PWG without backup. Will Hook be forced to reach into his bag of tricks in order to gain a victory, or will the king of sting prove his supremacy in the ring?
Plus more matches, Commissioner of Wrestling Dino Winwood and Commissioner of Food & Beverage Excalibur!
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s It’s It (What Is It?) takes place Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 5:00PM at American Legion Post #308 in Reseda, CA. American Legion Post #308 is located at 7338 Canby Ave., Reseda, CA 91335. General Admission tickets are $20 and will be available at the door. For more information, please visit http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com. Card subject to change.
