Thursday, May 15 Update
By Silverback, PWG Staff Writer
As if Pro Wrestling Guerrilla and our affiliated wrestlers have not endured enough bad luck recently, we were informed earlier today that while walking into the Fox Hills Mall to redeem her Orange Julius gift certificate she received for Mother’s Day, former PWG employee Judy Sorensen was struck and killed by a piece of orbital debris returning to earth. The news hit the offices of Pro Wrestling Guerrilla pretty hard, though not as hard as say, an instrument panel door sheered off by a space station docking with a shuttle returning to earth at high velocity, but hard enough that Commissioner Dino Winwood was about to send everyone home for the day. That is, until the Commissioner reached for his cell phone to read a text message, then began shouting incoherently about the Japanese, and their lack of ankle support. At first, everyone thought Dino had gone mad with grief over the death of Judy, formerly from accounting, however, the news was much more dire: While wrestling in his home country of Japan, scheduled Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament participant Kota Ibushi broke his ankle, and will be unable to compete in the tournament.Everyone at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla wish Kota Ibushi a full and quick recovery, and look forward to the day when he is able to make his PWG debut.
With the injuries of Mark Briscoe, Kota Ibushi, and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Champion Human Tornado, it would appear to the outside observer that this year’s DDT4 is cursed. Perhaps even Pro Wrestling Guerrilla as a whole is cursed. After all, Commissioner of Food & Beverage Excalibur did “borrow” a bag of beignets from someone who was colloquially referred to as a voodoo priest while in New Orleans for Carnival.
Taking the curse-related talk very seriously, Excalibur dove into his rolodex to find a suitable replacement for Kota Ibushi. Starting at the beginning of the alphabet, Excalibur attempted to contact young Japanese high-flyer AHII, who was thought to be the perfect replacement for Ibushi. However, AHII’s number had been disconnected, so the Commissioner of Food & Beverage tried to reach another young Japanese high-flyer, this one with the unlikely name of Catfish Man. Unfortunately, Catfish Man’s number now dials a wholesale video game store in Akihabara, which lead to some very interesting conversation. Next, on the list was HUSTLE Kamen Ranger Red, whose roommate said that Ranger Red had moved out quite some time ago, and was to be notified that he had money coming back from the apartment deposit. Making note of it, Excalibur forged ahead, calling several other wrong numbers in hopes of reaching Rabbit Boy, Shanao, UWAI #32, and finally, The★ZEST. After coming up with nothing, especially after The★ZEST sounded so promising, Excalibur spun the rolodex out of sheer frustration and stormed away from his desk.
Upon returning, Excalibur noticed that the rolodex had stopped spinning on the letter Y, and landed on the name Yoshitsune. Desperate for any young Japanese high-flyer at this point, Excalibur, hopes buoyed, phoned Yoshitsune in an attempt to save the World Tag Team Title tournament. As it turned out, Yoshitsune was not home, though his mother, after quite a bit of laughing, mentioned that Excalibur might want to contact her son’s “friend,” El Blazer, about taking Ibushi’s spot in the tournament. Quickly flipping to the E-section and coming up with nothing, Excalibur flipped to Blazer, El. This is when things really began to turn around.
See, El Blazer is known as the premiere high-flyer in professional wrestling today, and it would be a coup for any American wrestling promotion to have him compete at one of their events. And to have El Blazer make his North American debut in a tournament such as DDT4 would be a major coup. In fact, Excalibur had contacted El Blazer earlier this year about competing in DDT4, but Blazer had informed the Commissioner of Food & Beverage that he was unavailable. With trembling fingers, Excalibur hesitantly dialed the fourteen digit telephone number, and reached El Blazer. Speaking in a rush, Excalibur detailed the list of people he attempted to contact, and how Mrs. Yoshitsune was kind enough to suggest that El Blazer schedule may have opened up. After about 10 seconds of silence, then 15 minutes of raucous laughter, El Blazer mentioned that he owed Kota Ibushi a favor, and it would an honor team with KAGETORA in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament.
So now, after a brief period of sheer terror, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla is proud to present DDT4, taking place this Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 8:00PM and this Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:00PM at the Burbank Armory in Burbank California.
Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament Night 1 – Saturday, May 17, 2008
Singles Match
Hook Bomberry vs. Nemesis
DDT4 First Round Match
2.0 (Jagged & Shane Matthews) vs. Los Luchas (Phoenix Star & Zokre)
DDT4 First Round Match
Jack Evans & Roderick Strong vs. Ronin & Scorpio Sky
DDT4 First Round Match
El Blazer & KAGETORA vs. The Dynasty (Joey Ryan & Scott Lost with Jade Chung)
DDT4 First Round Match – Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Championship Title Match
El Generico & “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen (Champions) vs. Super Dragon & Davey Richards
Plus Austin Aries, Jay Briscoe, TJ Perkins, and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Champion Human Tornado will be on hand to address the fans about his injury, and the status of the World Title!
Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament Night 2 – Sunday, May 18, 2008
Singles Match
“New Guy” Brandon Bonham vs. TJ Perkins
With Austin Aries, Jay Briscoe, and Necro Butcher, plus the teams eliminated in the First Round of DDT4 will compete, and the Semi-Final & Final rounds of DDT4!
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament takes place Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 8:00PM and Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:00PM at the Burbank Armory. The Burbank Armory is located at 3800 W. Valhalla Dr., Burbank, CA, 91505. Front Row tickets are $30 for each night, or can be purchased in a 2 night package for only $50. General Admission tickets are $25 for each night, or can be purchased in a 2 night package for only $40. Tickets will be available for purchase online until Friday, May 16 at 11:59PM. Any remaining quantity of tickets will be available for purchase at the door on the day of each event. Card and participants are subject to change.
