By Silverback, PWG Staff Writer
Crystal Lake, CA – Imagine a calm, quiet, lakefront camp site sprinkled with teenagers, and amongst those teenagers, illicit drug use and sex havery is occurring. Then imagine a giant, psychotic, serial killer running rampant, killing these teenagers at will. For what reason does he kill? Is it the premarital sex? The drug use? The littering? Or most frightening of all, maybe he doesn’t have a reason, and just enjoys killing! But now, imagine that same group of teenagers, now mostly dudes, who are hopefully not having sex, but instead looking to be entertained! And instead of a seemingly unstoppable killing machine, imagine Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com) stalking these nubile teens, but instead of hatchets and various lengths of rope, it’s brandishing the finest professional wrestling entertainment today! It would make a pretty awesome movie, or a pretty awesome wrestling show, we’re not sure, but one thing is for certain, and that is on Friday, May 13, YOU WILL BE DEAD! Dead tired from the radness of the next PWG event, that is!Much like the young adults at that long forgotten lake after their experience with Jason “Lark” Voorhees, PWG was shaken to it’s very core by the events of All Star Weekend. And while no one ended up dead (though Zokre is still unaccounted for, he is believed to be packed up in the ring truck, not deceased,) newly instated PWG Commissioner “SoCal” Valerie Wyndham was seen in tears, running toward the Angeles National Forrest shortly after the conclusion of All Star Weekend. When she emerged from seclusion, in her right hand, written in blood, was the line up for “Jason Takes PWG!” taking place on Friday, May 13 at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC! Upon further inspection, it was lipstick, not blood, and while she didn’t actually make it to the forrest, she had a relaxing few days at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge. But the fact still remains that you will shocked and amazed by what you are about to hear!
In her first official match as PWG Commissioner, Ms. Wyndham is determined to kick things off with a bang, and what better way than a double titles grudge match between the newly crowned PWG Champion AJ Styles and TNA X-Division Champion “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels! When the smoke had cleared after All Star Weekend, AJ Styles had defeated Super Dragon to become the fifth ever PWG Champion, an impressive feat in and of itself, but then Styles did the unthinkable, and offered a shot to anyone that wanted it. First in line for a shot at Styles, hot off his back to back defenses of the X-Division title was the Fallen Angel, who still had unfinished business with Styles dating back to The Ernest P. Worrell Memorial! Daniels petitioned Commissioner Wyndham for the title shot, but the only way she would let him have it is if he wagered the X-Division title, and after a moment of deliberation, he accepted! Is Daniels so hungry for both titles that he’s willing to risk everything, or is he so confident that he can defeat Styles that losing the X-Division title isn’t even a threat? Who knows, but the real winners will be the fans on May 13, when for the first time ever in PWG, two titles will be on the line in the same match!
Also stemming from the events of All Star Weekend, Puma, coming off back to back losses at the hands of Ricky Reyes, wanted to prove that he still had his singles wrestling magic, and when it’s just he & Reyes in the ring, no one else, Puma can walk away victorious. Reyes scoffed at the statement, saying that Puma’s recent success in Japan has gone to his head, that he’s lost his heart, and if he thinks he can beat one of the Havana Pitbulls, he’s going to have to hustle. Upping the ante, Puma said not only would he defeat Reyes, but he would humiliate him by making him tap in a Submission Match. Reyes agreed to the stipulation, and thus, a match was made.
With those two matches being traced back to All Star Weekend and further, fans must be thinking that the Commissioner is going to have to slap together something just to fill out the rest of the card, right? Wrong! Valerie Wyndham calculates every single move, and the Human Tornado vs. El Generico encounter is no exception! Fans witnessed a war of dance moves as well as wrestling holds when these fan favorites squared off earlier this month, and there was most definitely unfinished business between these two when the match concluded. At “Jason Takes PWG!” Tornado & Generico will find out who is number one in the hearts of PWG fans!
After former PWG Champion and perennial fan favorite Frankie Kazarian’s emotional farewell speech, PWG Tag Team Champions Arrogance (Chris Bosh & Scott Lost) were bragging backstage how they had ran Kazarian out of PWG, saying they would do the same to anyone who dared face them for the belts. Though they are the winningest duo to ever hold the PWG Tag Team titles, Arrogance will have a tough challenge on their hands when a reinvigorated Disco Machine & Excalibur challenge for the belts! While Bosh & Lost do have a great record as tag team champs, the majority of their wins have come from underhanded tactics, which SoCal Val is aware of, and has promised to implement precautions to prevent any cheating on the part of Arrogance.
One match that doesn’t have roots in PWG, but can be traced back around the professional wrestling world is the debut of the Triple X Express, Sexxxy Eddy as he takes on Mr. Wrestling Kevin Steen! While Sexxxy Eddy is known for being an (adult) entertainer first, professional wrestler second, these two have a rivalry as intense as any in the wrestling world, so don’t be surprised if Eddy turns a few heads while he tries send Mr. Wrestling packing back to Montreal! Plus, after losing his PWG Championship to AJ Styles, Super Dragon turns his attention away from the title to take care of his unfinished business with Doppelgänger Dragon! (Or Super Dragon 2, Double Dragon, Super Dragon Dos.) Whatever you call him, according to the original Dragon, doesn’t matter, because this “nonsense” ends on May 13, once and for all!
Plus the Aerial Express (Quicksilver & Scorpio Sky,) Joey Ryan, Phoenix Star, Hook Bomberry, Top Gun Talwar, and the Ballard Brothers are all scheduled to appear! Plus Zokre,if we hear from the LAPD Missing Persons Unit in time!
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s “Jason Takes PWG!” takes place at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC on Friday, May 13, 2005 at 8:00PM. The Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC is located at 1110 Bates Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90029. Tickets are only $15, and will be available at the door. For more information, please visit http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com or email email@example.com