Do the Hustle!

[gurentai_pt1]

Man, I am halfway through Hustle 3 and I am so shamelessly on the bandwagon. :D I'll review it one of these days including Choshu's deal which I think is hilariously done.

It could be the novelty of it, but it's one of the most entertaining (key word: entertaining) things out of Japan in a while.

[Scrub]

Man, I am halfway through Hustle 3 and I am so shamelessly on the bandwagon. :D I'll review it one of these days including Choshu's deal which I think is hilariously done.

It could be the novelty of it, but it's one of the most entertaining (key word: entertaining) things out of Japan in a while.
Dude, can I get a copy of that? Me, Ryan and True Fan were watching that over at Bart's booth during intermission. The only part we caught was 1, 2, 3...

HAHSTLE HAHSTLE! *arm thrusts*

That right there, was all we needed to see to get hooked on Hustle.

Plus, I wanna see Kawada/Foley. Fucking Mr. Socko on Kawada! WTF?! The opening tag with Spanky and Low-Ki looks good too. The Outsiders = a novelty as well. Plus Ogawa in his wacky gear.

[Sane Minds Suffer]

The arm thrusts, the female commentators and the dress attire mdae that tape look awesome!

HUSTLE HUSTLE!

[gurentai_pt1]

Stayed up til 2 watching the whole thing last night. The wrestling itself could have been better but it was the best attempt at an entertaining show out of Japan in a while. At a time when I was sick of A) seeing pro-wrestlers get legit demolished by shooters on MMA shows B) seeing great pro-wrestlers being forced to do shootstyle matches and "real" unentertainign and played out angles; it was nice to see some pro-wrestlers get "put over" in unique ways and see some stuff that was missing from pro-wrestling. To add to it, lots of comedy.

More details one of these days but...in short...

Kawada kicked Foley so hard at the end it was ridiculous and hilarious.
The Choshu thing rules.
Takada runs shit.
Ogawa sucks at wrestling but has better charisma than any JPN wrestler out there right now. You can argue all you want against this but you're wrong.
Kanemura is god
etc.

>>Dude, can I get a copy of that?

Do I look like the Salvation Army, bitch?! ahahaha

[Andrew]

The Hustle Hustle thing is awesome.

[Rev]

I picked up HUSTLE-1 a few months ago. It was hilariously bad.


High (Low?) Points:
Goldberg & Takada doing their damndest to get the catchphrase "Do the Hustle!" over.

The origin of Zebraman!
(And Mikey Henderson's only appearance as such)

Adamo in a juniors match.

I'm wondering if the shows are ever going to be released with Ranallo/Rutten commentary.

[gurentai_pt1]

I didn't see Hustle 1&2 but the general concensus is the H-3 was by far the best of the 3 in every sense - stroy, characters, wrestling 9although it was still bad), and crowd. I think a lot of this has to do with fans understanding what each character is about.

For example, the Choshu thing.....

The gimmick is that Choshu is this "no nonsense grumpy old man" (his regular character since ever). So to piss him off even more, Takada keeps feeding him these silly opponents like Adamo. So Adamo comes out. Then Choshu's music hits and the place goes f'n nuts not for Choshu but to see Choshu all seriously angry about the blasphemy to puro that is Hustle. Then Choshu goes squashing Adamo.

Here's the kicker: The best part of this is, neither myself or fans can't tell whether Choshu inunderstands that this is a joke on himself...or whether he's just going about his business and thinks the fans are really chanting purely for him.

Awesome.

[gurentai_pt1]

Actually a better analogy for the Choshu thing is you know how when Bobby Hill@F&S gets legit pissed at a heel? And you're like, "Ahahaha that kid's really pissed. Yeah Bobby fuck him up! ahahah"

Well, same thing with Choshu. Like when he goes to stomp Adamo all serious, the crowd laughs. Fanfuckingtastic.

[SoCalWrestling4eva]

I marked like a bitch when Kawada nailed Foley with that last kick. I enjoyed the entire show, very entertaining.

[gurentai_pt1]

I guess I'll do a quick review since it's Friday and shit is slow here at work. Please note the below way of writing makes it easiest to give a visual of some shit.

Match 1
Taka/Lowki vs Spanky/Kaz hayashi

Spanky and Kaz entered with that techno version of the Titanic song and got some chicks from the crowd as they are supposed to be "the good looking young dudes" gimmick. Then the heels came in with I think Taka's music from WWE or something like it. This was like a good Velocity match, I would guess. It was not any long 12 star junior match but it was a good, easy to follow, junior match with a little American style heelish comedy shit thrown in by Taka. Good dives and moves. Couple missed spots but no big deal. I think Taka accidentally kicked Spanky in the gut on one of the dives and that shit looked like it legit hurt.

Match 2
Lucha match. Each team had a midget, man, woman, and transvestite. Good, speedy lucha match for the most part. Mascarita Sagrada Jr is awesome. And Faby Apache did some cool shit and still had a pretty cute face (talented female wrestler grading curve used), too bad her ass is too big. The faggots did what they typically do. The match was over with the crowd.

Match 3
Corino vs Dusty Rhodes. The match itself wasn't great but I liked the novelty of Dusty since it fit into Hustle well. The thing I liked about Hustle is even though each match wasn't good, they had so many styles and sub-styles of pro wrestling. One of the commentators said, "This is old American Hustle". But Dusty is still pretty over in Japan as he fits perfectly into the image of "American redneck good guy" and he stil throws punches better than 99.9% of the indy workers today. Corino did his usual heel thing. Funniest part of this is the blading was so blatant it was like watching XPW. In the end, they tease a handshake but Corino decides against it, this sets up for the angle at the end of the next match. Btw, they should have Dusty go all out and enter the ring in a big ass convertible Cadillac with the American and confederate flag to accentuate the "old time American" gimmick even more.

Match 4
Zebraman vs Tiger Jeet Singh

Zebraman is actually Ogasawara(old karate guy from 01 in a mask). He's like this superhero character but that is actually weak and goofy. In the prematch skit, he asks Hashimoto for advice on how to win and Hash says he should go back to like when he first fought Hash and to go back to being his natural self and go back to the wild. So naturally, Zebraman ends up at the zoo. At the end of his zoo trip, he goes by the tiger cage and he's scared of the tiger, hence Tiger Jeet Singh being the surprise opponent.
Tiger comes in with Sabu at his side going into the crowd and shit. If you grew up watching wrestling in Japan as a kid, this entrance brings back memories because you legit thought TJ Singh was some crazy insane fucker. Like you had nightmares about this fool. Anyway Singh squashes Zebraman and despite Singh not having any moveset, he moves OK for a guy that old. After the match Sabu/Singh dbl team Zebraman with Rhodes/Corino coming to save the day.

They chase eachother outside in the crowd and this scene also brought back the old school gaijin scenes you used to see every week as a kid. The good gaijin vs crazy bad one. And Dusty and Singh "had the crowd" as far as that goes.

Match 5
Choshu's match. See above posts. I saw it again last night and still laughed. Pre-match skit should be pretty easy to understand regardless of language how they show Choshu as this no-nonsense grumpy old dude. Adamo did his job well too. Next time, they should have Choshu come out with like a cheerleading squad behind him and big ass fireworks entrance. With him still not breaking character. That would rock.

Match 6
Otani/Sakata vs Coleman/Bobish
Pre-match skit,footage of how Takada's assitant, Shimada went to 01 to try to get Sakata to join Monster Army and Sakata tombstoned him. Skit with Takada and Coleman wher they go "We are monsta! We are monsta!" Takada's secretary is some hot blond chick, btw.

Too bad they suck big fat fucking cock at pro wrestling. Like if the match was bad, but still other shit was going on that was cool (example Dusty/Singh confrontation bringing back memories) then it'd be tolerable. But this just sucked. Even Otani couldn't save this match. Coleman I think could be good if he practiced a bit more. Bobish, mind you this was my first time seeing him so sorry if it was his off night, but they should just get Scott Norton.

Bobish to the crowd after winning: "Who tha man?"
Me at the TV: "Not you, dude." *gets up to get beer*

Match 7
Hustle Hardcore Scramble whatever weapons 6 man tag match. This is a hardcore match but every few minutes a new weapon appears on the entrance ramp. This is cool because every time a weapon is about to appear, they have this loud ass elaborate siren and countdown and smokescreen going.

Kanemura enters first doing the Brief Bros dance. Then Sabu and Awesome, couldn't pick better gaijin to be in this match. They looked badass. Then Kuroda, Honma and Masato Tanaka. Kanemura takes this frankensteiner to a table outside gets overshot the table and lands all fucked up in this 1 foot space between the mat and the railing, I do not know how motherfucker continued. Someone needs to book Kanemura in Socal dude cuz that fucker can wrestle not just do hardcore. First weapon is guitar, second weapon is a bycylcle but the cool part of this is they hype up the 2nd weapon with a big ass countdown and when it appears they have a bycycle bell sound effect. LMFAO.

SABU-ISMS!
I enjoyed a lot of Sabu-isms at Hustle. Sabu-ism for example is like he's supposed to be silent but he complains about fucked up production shit audibly like the railing being stuck during the Singh run in, or when he tells the staff trying to control Singh to go away by saying "I got him, I got him". It is only cool cuz it's Sabu. There's a spot where they put a garbage can on both Sabu and Kanemura at the same time so they can missle dropkick it, and when they were putting the can on him, Sabu had this facial expression like "Man, they better not fuck up this spot". Another Sabu-ism was when Giant Silva came in, Sabu didn't go near him in the match as if he was thinking, "I am so not getting paid enough to work with that oversized, uncoordinated, worthless fuck of a wrestler". And I think every Sabu mark that sees it will agree with his decision.

On the serious tip, Sabu hit all his offensive spots clean despite the stupid faggot cameramen missing most of it. Including a big ass chair to top rope swandive to the outside onto Tanaka past the railings old ECW style which got a big pop from the crowd and the announcer chick (who you will want to fuck cuz she's pretty hot).

But anyway last weapon is Giant Silva and basically he fucks Honma up and Honma takes the pin.

Takada Heel promo

Fucking rocked! He uses this "Commander of some heel fleet in Gundam" type voice that is awesome. He basically talks shit like "you worthless pro wrestling fans" "I am here to end the existance of pro wrestling and you pathetic losers who watch it" etc. This is awesome because all the puro fans are playing along are are screaming bloody murder at Takada. This also is the best attempt at putting puro over in a shilw because the casual fan now wants to cheer the puro guys (Hash, Ogawa, Takada, etc).

Match 8
Kawada vs Foley

Video where they put over the Tirple Crown as this serious title, and how kawada is seriously here to defent the honor of "The King's Road traditional puro" shit. Then they show the press conference with Foley etc putting over the fact that he's all about deathmatches wich is totally against what Kawada represents. I won't go into each thing, but the key here is Foley must have gotten paid bank. He did his job perfectly selling everything Kawada did and taking the sickest kick to the head.

I saw that kick and was like "Damn, n**ga!"

I rewound that shit like 10 times. Again though, the camera missed a good angle on the kick. How the fuck does like 12 Japs with cameras miss the most important spot of the match? They need to work on that shit.

Main event

Nash/Hall vs Hash/Ogawa

Wrong booking decision here. Ogawa is very charismatic but needs people to carry him. Hash being as hurt as he is couldn't save this match and I doubt he could have if he was healthy. The last people he Ogawa should face are the Outsiders who will try to make themselves look good. Anyway, this match sucked but served it's purpose of a "Happy Ending".

After match, Takada promo where he says "You may have won now but I have a whole bunch more Monsters left" to tease the next opponent for Ogawa/Hash.

Cool promo after the match where Ogawa responds all bad ass "Takada I'll fuck you up" deal, then suddenly breaks character, stops, smiles and goes "...so anyways, I would like to thank you all for coming and making Hustle a success". In his case, the breaking of character worked and fans were receptive to it.

Like I said, much improvement can be made to Hustle but this is legit (all philospshy b.s aside) first time in a very long time I watched a Japanese tape and said , "I wanna see the next one". All the other shit, I've been fast forwarding lately cuz it's the same old shit.

[Scrub]

Awesome write-up PT.
and still had a pretty cute face (talented female wrestler grading curve used)
Isn't that ALWAYS used in joshi? I've thought that the ugliest joshi chicks are oh so fine...

[gurentai_pt1]

Agreed.

Megumi Kudoh just normally walking down the street: "4" at best.

Megumi Kudoh wrapped up in barbedwire and doing the Kudo Bomb or whatever her move is: "9" at least.

[Scrub]

Paul T,

Hustle is great. I wish I knew Corino was selling Hustle programs at PWG. Otherwise, I woulda bought one. The "Weapon Match" was hillarious. But workrate wise, my favorite match has to go to the "1 man, 1 woman, 1 mini, and 1 transvestite Match". Mascarita Sagrada is insane.

Are you Monster? I am Monster. Monster, Monster! Do the Hustle!

Those random white chicks seconding the Outsiders were *HAWT*!

[gurentai_pt1]

>>Those random white chicks seconding the Outsiders were *HAWT*!

As much as I agree they were *hawt* (well actually just the nurse one), I would rather see random Jpop idols for that factor. I am not much a fan of women of the plastic kind.

Anyway, Since I hate mutltiple threads about the same shit, and more importantly, since Scrub and I are probably going to be the only ones posting...anyways, the poster for Hustle 4. Notice Kawada in Bruce Lee fashion.

http://www.so-net.ne.jp/pride/hustle/images/4_title.jpg

[Scrub]

I'll be passing on the Hustle tape to Sane Minds Suffer and True Fan soon enough. More people need to see the greatness that is Hustle. I showed Sean the tape and he digs it. *lucha nudge/fuck you*

Kawada-san in the Bruce Lee gear is badass.

[XPWTVsean]

I'll be passing on the Hustle tape to Sane Minds Suffer and True Fan soon enough. More people need to see the greatness that is Hustle. I showed Sean the tape and he digs it. *lucha nudge/fuck you*

Kawada-san in the Bruce Lee gear is badass.

The mixed, mixed, mixed tag match might be the greatest match of all time... and for so many reasons.

[Rev]

This poster lacks Eliza Dushku. =(


Who are the Takada Monster Army in that pic? I recognize what appears to be Silva & Randleman (And when ARE they booking Randleman -v- Ogawa? That's been set for months for christ's sake.) but don't recognize the others so well.

Hash REALLY needs to dress in the posterwear. C'mon, if Ogawa can don the sparkly jumpsuit, Hash needs to kick the fro.

[Scrub]

Speaking of the poster, I see Joe Son on there. I hate Joe Son. What the fuck was he doing at Hustle 3? Absolutely nothing. Waste of space.

Please don't beat me up Joe Son or make me listen to your "freestyles" or ask me to go to your interview at Mitsubishi. Thanks.

[gurentai_pt1]

>>This poster lacks Eliza Dushku. =(

Who's Eliza Dushku? Pic please.

>>Who are the Takada Monster Army in that pic?

It's actually Bobish and Coleman. Silva's behind them holding up a kid. At H-3 they did this deal before the show where they go around to fans and it was this kid's birthday so Silva held the kid up over his head.

>>ask me to go to your interview at Mitsubishi.

Did that faggot call you or something? Speaking of useless UFC characters, I was at the car wash the other day and Joe Charles was there. Very unfortunately, I was wearing a 01 shirt and the fool came up to me telling me how much of a badass he was and how famous he was in Japan. That was the longest wait for a car wash, ever. Of course both Joe Charles and Joe Son can kill me if they wanted to, doesn't change the fact they are useless.

[Scrub]

>>ask me to go to your interview at Mitsubishi.

Did that faggot call you or something? Speaking of useless UFC characters, I was at the car wash the other day and Joe Charles was there. Very unfortunately, I was wearing a 01 shirt and the fool came up to me telling me how much of a badass he was and how famous he was in Japan. That was the longest wait for a car wash, ever. Of course both Joe Charles and Joe Son can kill me if they wanted to, doesn't change the fact they are useless.
Back in, I think 2001. Possibly 2002, I forget. But one day, I ran into Joe Son after I got money from the ATM and was on my way to McDonald's. Joe Son asks me, "Hey, you listen to hip hop?". I say, "Sure." He then calls me over and asks me if I wanna listen to his "freestyle". I say, "Sure", because he's bigger than me. So, here we are in this parking lot, he's in the driver's seat and I'm outside his car. He proceeds to turn on the radio and "freestyle" over the radio. Waitaminute, I thought this was HIS freestyle? During this time, he tells me how he goes to Japan all the time and trains with Tito Ortiz. He also tells me he was just in Japan the other day in Ortiz's corner for a big fight in Japan. He also tells me that he's working on his "R&B" album with Snoop Dogg and the Dogg Pound. Wow.

He then asks me if I wanted to go with him to his interview over at Mitsubishi. WTF?! He asks me for my phone number, and I proceed to give him a fake number. He then goes inside this cell phone place where we are parked. On his way there, he is singing R&B bullshit the whole time. He asks the guy at the counter for some paper, writes down his name, ends his signature with a heart, and quotes a psalm for me as well. He also goes on to say that "everything happens for a reason". He also said that he is a "warrior for God" and that "God is good". In fact, I still have his phone number and psalm quote somewhere in my room.

I went on to tell SoCal Tom Walters this story, and he busts out laughing. Tom then tells me that he's famous for getting punched in the nuts by Keith Hackney. Apparently Joe Son lives in Cypress. Seems like a story just as bad as your car wash story...

[SOCALSTRONGSTYLE]

FYI i have hustle one if anyone is interested in seeing it.The wrestling is a bit better than 3 but the promos arent nearly as funny.

[gurentai_pt1]

LMFAOx1000000000000@ Scrub's "useless former UFC faggots that mistake us for someone who gives a flying fuck" story. :D

SCSS: Thanks for the offer man, but I'm here to see "Soto (general) Takada" go off so I don't need one of the promos suck. Speaking of which, according to all messageboards I've seen, Takada is over as fuck as a comedic heel. At the Hustle House show, here's some highlights:

He came out and busted his main catchphrase "Be-turn!" ["Bibittaka"(you scared?)+ "(I have) returned"]. Crowd went nuts, lmfao.

"I would like to welcome all of you pathetic pro wrestling fans who came to see the ever so respected Soto (General) Takada and the Monster Army."

Ogawa yells some shit.

"Chicken(Ogawa's nickname). I see that you are very popular here. That is to be commended so I hope you can continue living life like the chicken you are, you chicken." lol

"Also, Ogawa, I saw you defeat Giant Silva at Pride GP. That was a good performance, I saw it on 'Mezamashi TV' (Japan's version of Good Morning America, as if to say Takada didn't waste his time seeing it live). I give you 60 points for the performance."

Ogawa gets pissed, yells some shit.

"Don't you disrespect me! The fuck you think I am?! I am Takada of Takada Monster Army, do not make me repeat myself" [the joke here is he repeats that he is Takada of Monter Army like all the time]. Anyway, I give you 60 points for your performace at Pride but your pro wrestling is zero points. [basically saying Ogawa can't work for shit]"

Ogawa: "Fuck you who the fuck are you to judge me bitch?"

Takada: "Shut up, Chicken!" lmfao. "BTW, what's up with Team Hustle (Ogawa's team=babyfaces) with your partner Hashimoto 'the destroyer' always getting destroyed his damnself? And how about that old ass fuck Choshu. And what's the other guy's name? Kawada? Is that guy still a 'hikikomori' (nerd-dork-loser in a bad way)?"

"The Hustle Army is nothing but a small gathering of losers. And Ogawa, let me introduce to you the newest member of Monster Army"

Takayama shows up but he don't mention his name.

Ogawa: "Who is' that tall fucker?"

Takada:"Hahaha, Bibittaka(you scared?), 'tajiroidaka'(you steppin back'?), hahahahha BAD LUCK!" Then leaves.

LMFAO at "Bad luck!" He says that shit at the end of all his promos in English.

Fanfuckingtastic dude. Unfortunately, Hustle House won't be on Samurai til like the day before Hustle 4. But I'll be getting both somehow when available.

[Scrub]

Damn PT, that sounds so nuts. I love Hustle. And I'll admit, I have not seen Takada wrestle "pre-Hustle", but I dig the Team Monster schtick. I hear he's a serious wrestler, so him doing the "Soto Takada" is awesome. The whole premise behind Hustle is great. I want those posters.

Are Hustle 1 and 2 worth checking out? EDIT: Ah, who am I kidding, of course they're awesome.

[Rev]

Damn PT, that sounds so nuts. I love Hustle. And I'll admit, I have not seen Takada wrestle "pre-Hustle", but I dig the Team Monster schtick. I hear he's a serious wrestler, so him doing the "Soto Takada" is awesome. The whole premise behind Hustle is great. I want those posters.

Are Hustle 1 and 2 worth checking out? EDIT: Ah, who am I kidding, of course they're awesome.

HUSTLE -1 is a complete and utter carcrash of a wrestling event. It's goofy as hell, but you still feel compelled to watch. The recurring Goldberg & Takada/HashOgawa promos are fairly amusing, as they attempt to one-up each other and really work to build the Ogawa=Chicken bit.


Who's Eliza Dushku? Pic please.
American actress. Star of Tru Calling. They snagged this image (http://www.superiorpics.com/eliza_dushku/images/eliza008.jpg) of one of her movies (Bring it On?) and threw it in the H-3 poster.

(Look at the bottom center of the H-3 poster)

BTW, the nurse with the Outsiders was former PMOY Karen MacDougal

[The Big Man]

Where would one acquire these tapes? How much would they cost?

[Scrub]

BTW, the nurse with the Outsiders was former PMOY Karen MacDougal
Man, that means I can see her naked. That is fantastic.

[Rev]

Where would one acquire these tapes? How much would they cost?

AWS or Highspots for 10 bucks. (HS sells 'em. I picked up H-1 from Bart on a buy 4 get 1 free.)

[The Big Man]

Thanks Rev.

[gurentai_pt1]

Early reports say that the matches were one level worse than before, and the lack of previous mathces/characters (ECW guys, Dusty-Singh, Luchas) seemed to be a disappointment. But the skits were good and the main was better than it had any business being. But the following two photos is more than enough reason to get the video:

http://jp.a1.yimg.com/7/50/6316/992315747/sportsnavi.yahoo.co.jp/fight/other/photo/200407/25/a06/pict/pict02.jpg

http://jp.a1.yimg.com/7/50/6316/992315747/sportsnavi.yahoo.co.jp/fight/other/photo/200407/25/a05/pict/pict16.jpg

EL-OH-EL :D

[Scrub]

http://jp.a1.yimg.com/7/50/6316/992315747/sportsnavi.yahoo.co.jp/fight/other/photo/200407/25/a06/pict/pict02.jpg
HAHAHAHAHAH, WTF?!

[Rev]

http://jp.a1.yimg.com/7/50/6316/992315747/sportsnavi.yahoo.co.jp/fight/other/photo/200407/25/a06/pict/pict02.jpg

It's about time Hash busts the fro. (I thought he won a match in Z1 though that meant he didn't have to, though.)

[Hack]

http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/hochi/battle/jun/0628ogawa.jpg

[SoCal Tom Walters]

Man, I just found this thread now. I have three things to include:

#1 - Scrub's Joe Son story is still one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life.

#2 - Joe "The Ghetto Man" Charles at a fucking car wash sounds hilarious as well. Haha "huge in Japan".

#3 - Fuck Takada.