In my last review before I enter Free Agency, I take a look at Championship Wrestling From Hollywood Episode 420, featuring David Arquette vs. Peter Avalon. Strap in folks. This is going to be a fun one!
We started off with shots of the crowd. Todd Keneley and Dan Joseph were inside the ring. They went over the card for the show. Todd made some stupid puns using the titles of movies David Arquette had been in. He really comes off like an Airhead when he tries to be funny. Oh yeah, this is the last part of CWFH’s Coastline Clash event. They’re at the Irvine Improv and have a big LED screen with graphics on it. It looked really professional. That was the only real upside of this show. It was all downhill from here. Reoccurring episodes with each and every kiss. I can tell you’re going through the motions. Figured you were writing out your part. Once again we’re playing off emotions. Which one of us will burn until the end?
Even though the show looked more professional than ever, the way it was shot wasn’t very good. I saw some pictures and video of the crowd when the event was taped. It looked like CWFH had a packed house at the show. Maybe it was the angles of the photos and video or an optical illusion. Either way, the finished product made it look like there were only 50 people in a basement. I also couldn’t help but notice that the audio mixing was really bad on this show. The announcers’ microphones were turned up really high, so you barely heard the action or the crowd. We are in for one rough episode.
Peter Avalon w/ Fake Marquez Son vs. David Arquette w/ Some Woman
Boy, if David Arquette didn’t enjoy my review of his debut match in CWFH (where I said good things about his performance), he’ll really hate this one. I will say that it was pretty fucked up of him to defame me and call me a bully without having an equal platform to defend myself. If anything, David Arquette is the real bully who wanted to inflict violence on me. Shame on you, Mr. Arquette.
Before the match, Todd talked about David Arquette not being respected by wrestling fans. Todd also mentioned how he wanted to win their respect. Then he talked about how David got his trainer Peter Avalon’s name wrong during an appearance on a talk show. Yeah, that’s how Todd tried to build up this match. I love how this was hyped to the viewers as a match between an actor who fans don’t respect because of something that happened 19 years ago vs. his trainer, whose name he could not remember. Whoever thought that would be a good way to have Todd hype this match should be fired. All this did was make the match come off like a joke.
The match itself started off with Peter Avalon in control. He kept getting the better of Arquette, who he trained. Then Arquette got some offense in on Peter. During this first portion of the match, David Arquette’s valet stood directly in front of the hard cam for a bit. It was great to see the back of her head in the middle of the screen. After that, the fake Marquez son got on the ring apron and distracted Arquette. This gave Peter an opening to hit a springboard dropkick onto Arquette, sending him to the floor as the show went to commercial.
After a commercial break, we got a heat segment from Peter. This saw him working a bunch of rest holds on Arquette. During this part of the match, the fake Marquez son acted obnoxiously and sat on the ring apron taking selfies. Moments later, he got ejected from ringside. The match continued, and it got pretty sad. The ejection wouldn’t mean anything later on, as the fake Marquez son returned after a ref bump. He got in the ring and slapped Arquette’s valet off the ring apron. She sold it by getting up to revive the referee. Good to see CWFH using highly trained professionals on this show. Then there was a bunch of shenanigans before Peter Avalon got the submission win with a single-leg crab.
Peter Avalon did his best to carry David Arquette to a watchable match. Despite doing his best, this was sad. Like, really sad. Everything was sloppy and disjointed. Seeing David Arquette trying to do a running hurricanrana was painful. This match was a huge contrast to Arquette’s match against RJ City last year. More on this match later in the review.
Heather Monroe w/ Halston Boddy vs. Sarah Wolfe
This match wasn’t bad. Although my expectations were probably lowered because of the last match. There was a basic story to this match. Heather worked as a heel while Sarah played the babyface. Along with that, Heather and Halston Boddy are in Royce Isaacs’ stable. Sarah Wolfe is Tyler Bateman’s valet/girlfriend. Royce and Tyler are having a match later in the show. It felt like the purpose was to try to build up the main event, but this is CWFH and the booking always ends up being fucking idiotic.
The commentary volume was really loud in this, and it took away from the match. Sarah got the win with a nice lariat. My biggest problem with this was the audio production. You couldn’t hear anything going on in the ring aside from screams and yelling. There was also some sound when there were bumps, but there was no vibe or energy.
After the match, Heather attacked Sarah. Halston Boddy trapped the referee in the corner during Heather’s attack. Heather finished off Sarah with a Michinoku Driver. She proceeded to have Halston kidnap Sarah and took her to the back. Nobody bothered to come out and stop this felony from happening. I know this is pro wrestling and we’re supposed to “suspend our belief” when watching, but this was so fucking stupid. It also made Heather and Halston’s characters look stupid. They committed a fucking felony in front of a lot of people! On top of that, there were cameras recording the crime! This would’ve been better if they had booked Heather to take Sarah out with a weapon, but the people who write this show are dumb.
This show is almost as bad as WCW was in 2000. I honestly don’t think this show could get any stupider…
Handicap Match: Shaggy McLovin, Caleb Perez, and Adriel Noctis vs. Eric Watts
I spoke too soon.
After a commercial break, there was no word on Sarah Wolfe’s condition or status. Her kidnapping wasn’t mentioned at all. A serious crime just occurred and these idiots didn’t do anything to build that angle up. Instead, the announcers talked about this completely worthless match. Yeah, this is almost as bad as WCW in 2000. All we need now is for CWFH to start booking David Arquette and…oh wait.
This match was stupid and a complete waste of time. There was no reason to have this on the show (or any show for that matter), but CWFH did it anyways. The match sucked overall. I hate watching Watts on CWFH. The way he’s used is always uninteresting and his matches are always a chore to get through. Sometimes it even feels like even he gets bored being on these shows. I wouldn’t blame him if that were the case. The booking on this show and his character sucks, the crowds are always dead, and it does nothing for any workers on this show. Fuck, if I were a performer and worked CWFH, I’d probably be legitimately depressed with my life after doing one of these tapings.
Oh, Watts won the match. Not like it mattered or anything.
United Wrestling Network Television Championship Match: Royce Isaacs (c) w/ Jamie Iovine vs. Tyler Bateman
During his entrance, it appeared as if Tyler Bateman hit himself in the head when he was twirling his cane. Sarah Wolfe’s kidnapping was talked about at times on commentary. Eventually, the kidnapping became an afterthought as the match went on. Jamie Iovine stood in front of the hard cam during the match for a bit. Can someone teach the managers and valets on this show how to work television? They’re supposed to add to the matches, not take away and distract from them.
The match started off with both guys going back-and-forth. Both guys exchanged strikes before Royce gained control. Then Bateman mounted a comeback. Things were competitive during the finishing stretch of the match before Royce got the win from a pin with his feet on the ropes. While this match wasn’t bad, it was very heatless. Either the crowd volume was turned all the way down, or they were super dead for this. It was probably the latter. Having to sit through this show could kill any crowd.
After the match, Isaacs and Iovine celebrated inside of the ring. Sarah Wolfe came out with the PP3 Cup. Bateman “cashed in” the trophy for another title shot.
United Wrestling Network Television Championship Match: Royce Isaacs (c) w/ Jamie Iovine vs. Tyler Bateman w/ Sarah Wolfe
Bateman tried to hit Isaacs but hit Iovine instead. Isaacs then hit Hush Money on Isaacs for a near fall. He went for it again, but Bateman countered and hit Death From Above to win the title. The show ends with Bateman and Sarah celebrating with the title as the credits rolled. This was pretty lame, to be honest. The blatant ripoff of WWE’s Money in the Bank gimmick is so dumb and uncreative.
Man, this show was a total pile of suck. There were so many problems with this episode. For starters, the placement of the matches was really dumb. The Heather Monroe vs. Sarah Wolfe match should’ve gone before the main event so that there could be a way to hook the viewers into the story. Instead, they threw a cold match in-between. I could understand having that Watts match in its place if the commentators were selling the angle but that didn’t happen. Instead, there was no mention of the felony that had just gone down and how it’d possibly play into the main event. I swear, nobody on this show’s creative team knows how to build things up right.
Watts vs. Jobbers was a waste of time. I get that his gimmick is he squashes guys, but let’s call it for what it really is: a cheap crutch by an uncreative creative team. Sarah Wolfe vs. Heather Monroe was what it was, but the audio really took away from the match. It’s hard to get into a match if it seems like the fans don’t give a shit about what’s going on. If they don’t care, why should the viewing audience? Whatever the problem was, it really hurt the show overall. Even the main event came off as flat and dead. The closing angle was lame, but it doesn’t mean shit because Tyler Bateman dropped the title to Scorpio Sky at the next set of tapings.
Now, let’s talk about David Arquette
Before I talk about the match, I wanted to talk about a segment that took place to hype this match.
On May 5th, 2019, CWFH and Masked Republic did a show on Hollywood Blvd. During a segment on the show, Peter Avalon was interviewed about his match with David Arquette. During this, Arquette appeared dressed up in a court jester costume. He said he was at a renaissance fair. Not a bad reason for him to be wearing that, but it was still lame and ridiculous to see a guy dressed like a clown hyping a wrestling match in 2019. The two had an awkward segment that went over like a nasty, loud fart in church. This entire thing was embarrassing to watch.
I mentioned this before, but I would be remiss not to mention this again: this show was on Hollywood Blvd. It is the biggest tourist trap in SoCal. Many foolish and gullible people from all over the world flock to this place in hopes of meeting a famous celebrity or to start a fight at Donald Trump’s star on the Walk of Fame. When David Arquette came out, there was almost no reaction from most of the crowd. The entire thing came off terribly, and it really showed how irrelevant Arquette has become. I mean, he’s a celebrity who made an appearance on Hollywood Blvd and nobody cared. This entire thing was sad to watch.
But the match itself was even sadder.
Last year in his match with RJ City, I thought David Arquette had a performance that was better than what we see from most workers. His match was kept basic, which really helped. This match with Peter Avalon was bad though. As I said, Peter did his best to make this watchable, but there was only so much he could do with a 47-year-old actor who isn’t a full-time pro wrestler and had a heart attack last year. Nobody really gained anything from this match. It felt like a waste of time. After watching this match, I wondered how much longer will promotions keep booking Arquette?
The novelty of seeing him wrestle is pretty dead now. What appeal does David Arquette doing pro wrestling have left? Him doing a match isn’t headline news anymore. Aside from being put into stupid and dangerous situations, there is nothing interesting scenario anymore that involves David Arquette in pro wrestling. Seeing an irrelevant actor trying to revive his stagnant career while possibly going through a midlife crisis just isn’t fun at all. On top of that, watching workers and promoters trying to leach off his rapidly fading prolificness is sad to watch. There is just no upside or benefits to having him on shows now.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and say David Arquette should stop being booked or that he should retire. Those choices are best left up to David Arquette himself and the promoters who consider booking him on their shows. What I will say is that his involvement in pro wrestling as a performer is a waste of everyone’s time. He won’t get any workers over, and his involvement on shows won’t boost a promotion’s notoriety. If David Arquette really loved wanted to be part of wrestling, the best thing for him to do at this point would be to financially invest in promotions rather than work their shows. He could do more good by doing that than stepping inside rings to have bad matches.
To end this review, I’d like to announce that my contract with SoCalUncensored.com has officially expired. I am now a free agent. While my contract is up, negotiations have been underway to keep my services on this site. There is a tentative agreement for one or two articles later in the summer, but for now, I’m taking a break. I’ve also been receiving several lucrative supermax contract offers from a few major pro wrestling and MMA websites. With free agency here, I plan on taking the summer off. I’m going to be using this time to rest and relax. I deserve it.
With that said, I’d like to thank the wonderful people of Nepal for their support of SoCalUncensored.com. You guys are awesome! See you in the future!