Taking a look at Bar Wrestling 10: March Of The Pigs, featuring Rey Fenix & Penta El 0M vs. LAX in an early SoCal MOTYC.
Scorpio Sky, B-Boy, and Kevin Martenson vs. Matt Cross, Eric Watts, and Marty The Moth
I’m just gonna say it upfront: Marty The Moth sucks. His character is really annoying and his schtick is awful. He tries hard to come off as crazy, but instead he just comes off like a stupid goof. He seriously added nothing to the match. Aside from him, this was an okay match. I really couldn’t get into the heat segment on B-Boy, which was most of the opening portion of the match. Once he mounted a comeback and the pace picked up, the match got better. Martenson had an exciting hot tag sequence that saw him flying all over the place. After that, there were a bunch of spots that included dives, and Watts hitting Sky with a Chokeslam onto the ring apron. Watts also did a Tope Con Giro shortly after. Following that, everyone hit their moves on each other before Martenson did a roll up pin on Marty The Moth to get the win for his team.
Watts has been showing some improvements lately, and a good performance here. Usually he’s stiff (movement wise, not hard hitting) and robotic, but he seems looser and more relaxed in the ring these days. I thought he was the best worker in the match too. Aside from Marty The Moth being useless, this was a solid opener.
Brian Cage vs. Tyler Bateman
This started out with both guys working over holds and wrist locks. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brian Cage do this much chain wrestling in a match before. After the opening chain wrestling sequence, the decorative curtain that hangs from the ceiling of the American Legion in Baldwin Park was again torn down after Cage delivered a back body drop on Bateman. The fans chanted “Quinceañera” because they’re wrestling fans. Interpret that line anyway you want.
Brian Cage did his usual stuff in this match. Lots of throws, slams, and suplexes. He and Bateman really meshed well with each other in this. The match had a good pace and had some fun near fall spots. Cage eventually won after hitting a Steiner Screwdriver that Kevin Condron called a “Falcon Arrow.” This was a good match, and probably one of the best Bateman matches I’ve seen recently.
Fire & Nice (Chelsea Green & Britt Baker) vs. The Killer Baes (Heather Monroe & Laura James)
This wasn’t good. There were so many sloppy and mistimed moments. The match seemed poorly structured too. It had no real flow and wasn’t very fluid. At one point the the Killer Baes hit their double team move with Heather applying a submission to Britt Baker. Chelsea Green ran in to save her partner by going for a senton to break the submission, but ended up landing on the mat instead of Heather. While this was going on, Laura James stood around watching her opponent attempt to stop her team from winning. Psychology!
Towards the end of the match, Laura James spat beer in the face of Chelsea Green after being kicked by Chelsea. After that, Chelsea ran to the announce table where you could see preparing for her next gag. As the Killer Baes were working over Baker, Green got on the ring apron doing some “I’m crazy” dance, and I cringed. After the distraction, Fire & Nice delivered some sloppy superkicks to the arms of Heather Monroe, and Britt Baker hit her with a sloppy looking Leg Lariat to the body, getting the win for her team. Again, this wasn’t very good.
Joey Ryan vs. Hot Young Briley
Before the match, Briley got on the mic and cut a promo. He talked about how he’s going to the WWE Performance Center and is moving to Winter Park, FL. Then he talked about how he’s doing one more shitty indy show and talked about how Vince McMahon and HHH don’t like Joey Ryan. After this promo, he spat on some fans at ringside. There was a lot of stalling at the start of the match. The crowd kept getting on Briley for being Dolph Ziggler’s brother as well. When Briley was trying to climb over the top rope during his stalling schtick, Joey kicked the rope into his dick. That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen Joey do. Shortly after that, he went to Briley and said “Dolph Ziggler, touch my dick.”
The match focused on Joey’s usual dick comedy schtick, while Briley worked like an old school heel and kept doing HHH mannerisms. He even hit Joey with a Pedigree. Eventually Briley touched Joey’s dick and did the flip. Joey then won after he put a lollipop in Briley’s mouth, gave Briley a kiss, followed by a superkick. Kevin Condron kept trying hard to be funny on commentary, but he was just fucking annoying. He’s been the absolute worst on this show. Louden Noxious sucks too. As far as this match, eh. It wasn’t really much to get emotionally invested in. The real action happens after it.
Rating: N/A (Not gonna rate this since it was a comedy match.)
Post Match Shenanigans
Briley left his boots in the ring and bid farewell to the crowd. As Joey was in the ring, Hangman Page came to the ring. He got on a megaphone and called Joey a phony. Moments later, the Young Bucks and Cody Rhodes showed up. Page touched Joey’s dick, Joey flipped him, and then Joey made him drink “piss.” You can see this segment on “Being The Elite” YouTube.
Kevin Kross vs. Willie Mack
The opening sequence saw both guys working over wrist locks. After that, Kross had the upper hand and worked over Willie’s back and knee for a bit. Willie tried to mount a few comebacks, but Kross would maintain control. At one point, Kross would start punching Willie, and then Willie started to “Hulk Up” and hit a Stone Cold Stunner to get back into the match. Things started to even out later in the match, with both guys exchanging offense. Eventually Kross got the win after hitting a Saito Suplex on Willie Mack. The fans didn’t seem very happy about the finish. The match was okay, but nothing special, and the finish fell flat. Willie had a really good performance, but this match was still pretty underwhelming.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Tessa Blanchard
This was the worst match on the show. Much like the other women’s match on this card, this was sloppy and had several mistimed moments. The match structure didn’t help things either. The best part of the match was Luchasaurus (who was in an arm sling) at the bar trying to get Tessa and Taya to get along. Tessa performed well, but it felt like Taya wasn’t on Tessa’s level athletically. There was a terrible strike exchange that ended with Tessa doing a botched neck breaker that Taya seemed to have mistimed. The only thing worse than the match was the commentary. Louden Noxious and Kevin Condron rambled annoyingly, and Condron called a Lungblower a Codebreaker. Hey East Coast, can you take your trash back?
Taya eventually won after hitting Tessa with the worst Curb Stomp ever. I’m not exaggerating when I say that. I know I’m going to get heat for saying this, but this match was awful. If two men had the same exact performance, people would be ripping it apart.
The Luchas Brothers (Rey Fénix & Penta el 0M) vs LAX (Santana & Ortiz)
This match was getting a lot of hype after it happened. Steve, who was at the show, texted me saying this was the best match in Bar Wrestling history. I’m usually skeptical of when people hype matches, but I have to say this is my early frontrunner for SoCal Match of the Year. I don’t watch Impact Wrestling (or whatever the fuck TNA is called this month) so this is my first time seeing this incarnation of LAX. I came away really enjoying their work. Those guys need to come out to SoCal more often.
I will say that there was a botched spot and a couple of sloppy moments, but despite that, this match truly lives up to the hype. This was just a sprint from the opening sequence, with all four guys going balls out during the match. It also helped that the crowd was really hot for this. The match was also loaded with a lot of cool double team spots. It’d be really hard to describe most of the spots in the match. Most of the spots comprised of a handful of moves in a single sequence. I was really amazed at the high volume of moves that these guys were able to put into several spots.
The finish saw Penta hit a Package Piledriver on Ortiz with a double stomp assist from Fenix, followed by Fenix doing a dive to the outside on Santana. This was a great match. Aside from one botch, this was great. Lots of sick double team spots, and tons of exciting moments.
Post Match Shenanigans
Fans threw money into the ring, promos were cut, hugs were shared, and everyone embraced as the show ended.
The women’s matches were the worst matches of the show. There were too many sloppy spots and mistimed moments in them. Kross vs. Mack was pretty underwhelming. I like Willie, he usually has fun matches. Kevin Kross isn’t bad inside the ring, but his matches are pretty dull. I don’t get the hype surrounding him to be honest. He doesn’t suck, but his matches aren’t exciting to watch. The commentary for this show was atrocious as always. Louden Noxious and Kevin Condron are seriously awful.
The main event was easily the best match of the show and currently my front-runner for SoCal MOTY. Both the Lucha Brothers and LAX had a great display of tandem offense. They also had a good pace for the match. It was full of spots, and the fans were into it the whole time. That match is the type of match I I want to see when I’m watching pro wrestling. Exciting, fun, crazy, innovative, and full of action. It is everything that modern professional wrestling should be about. I suggest people check this match out.