Revolution Pro – July 19th, 2003

Revolution Pro review – July 19th, 2003
By Manila Ice

Gee golly gosh darn! My first report! Here it goes … Rev Pro 7-19-03 …

There was a lot of traffic on the way to Rev Pro. My crew and I got there at
2:00 thinking we were on time, but my homeboy Street Style and Top Gun Talwar
were already in the ring. An indy show actually started on time! Street
Style and Top Gun seemed shock as the Gallineros were announced as their
opponents. They began the match immediately ambushing the Gallineros as soon as they
stepped through the curtain. After a lot of thrashing through the chairs,
some kid yelled, “Get in the ring!” Eventually they did. At one point, Talwar
seemed to injure himself outside. Shady picked up the win with what he calls
the “Blue Eyes White Dragon” suplex pin.
In the second match for the tag tournament, El Caliente (Angel and Mr.
Excitement) faced Black Metal and Zokre. We saw a different side of Black Metal as
he casually walked out wearing a slick hat and biting a cigar. This match had
a lot of great action. Angel pinned Zokre. Afterward, Angel picked up the
mic. He suggested to Mr. Excitement that they be more than just a tag team. A
“Just say yes” chant broke out. Mr. Excitement declined mentioning, “I like
you as my partner, but not as my ‘partner’.”

In the third match for the tournament, we saw Mexico’s Most Wanted (Halloween
and Damien 666) take on King Faviano and the Durango Kid. Favi always puts
on some great comedy and that Durango Kid is really light on his feet. Nice
agility. There was a bit of fancy chain wrestling. Mexico’s Most Wanted won
with a nice double team submission.

“Hey you, what’s that sound?” That sound was the team of Disco Machine and
Chris Bosh taking on the Aerial Express (Scorpio Sky and Quicksilver). Disco
and Bosh came out wearing matching masks. Bosh’s shirt read “Boshamania” and
he threw it to a guy in the audience known as Mini Taro (who had a striking
resemblance to that Joey Ryan fan). Quicksilver managed to slip in his signature
submission. A “Disco” chant broke out here and there. Disco and Bosh worked
well as a team, but the Aerial Express scored the pinfall to advance in the
tournament.

Finally, there was a break from the tournament and we were given a singles
match between Extreme Loco and El Mongol. Extreme Loco has one of the best
entrance songs. This match got the second biggest pop. “Mongol” chants were
breaking out everywhere. He was over. It must have been the new ring atire. The
dude next to me (shout out to my dawg, Shinigami) labelled Mongol as “the new
Taz, the new human-suplex machine.” Mongol won with the victory roll.

In the first semi-final for the tag tournament, Damien and Halloween entered
the ring. Their opponents were the Street Style from 8 Mile and the
Dangerzone Top Gun Talwar. Too bad they came out to a different theme song rather than
the usual “Lose Yourself” by Eminem. Shady came up to me and as a sign of
true gangsters, we both executed the double C-Walk to a descent pop. Mexico’s
Most Wanted took exception to our dancing. Top Gun didn’t seem like his roid
rage self most likely because of the injury earlier. Black Metal and Zokre
came out and offered to replace him. So which member of Los Sanchos would it be?
“Wild Thing” blared on the speakers and it was American Wild Child.
Throughout the match, MMW punked me out in Spanish, gave me the old DX crotch-shops,
and immitated with their own C-Walk. I tried to flash them a peace sign, but
due to premature arthiritis my index finger wouldn’t go up and my middle
finger was stuck. MMW were kool with it and laughed it off. Shady shut them up
with his signature C-Walk into a right hand — shades of “Breakin’ 2: Electric
Boogaloo” (1986). AWC locked one of them in a submission and, in honor of the
annual B-Boy Summit this weekend, Shady busted out the 1990 into a leg drop.
With Damien in the corner, Halloween got caught in a drop toe hold and fell
face first into Damien’s crotch. AWC repeatedly bounced Halloween’s head into
it and I was the only one chanting, “Damien likes it!” On the outside, AWC
held one of MMW and Shady went for the Asai Moonsault. Excellent hang time …
unfortunately, the dude broke free and Shady nailed AWC. I missed the finish
as I was blinded by the glare off Damien’s bald spot, but when I regained my
sight it seems that Damien had gotten Shady into the Mexican Stretch Bomb. I
chanted at MMW, “You’re washed up!” Damien smiled and punked me out one last
time. In the ring, AWC congratulated Shady, the soon-to-be-father. Everyone
gave him a round of applause.

In the second semi-final, El Caliente wrestled Aerial Express. Scorpio Sky
handed the ring announcer a customized introduction. Mr. Excitement took it
and joked, “The Orial Express.” The real introduction read: “At a combined 19
inches of magic stick … they are 2 scoops of vanila and chocolate with the
nuts and they are ridiculously good looking … Scorpio Sky, Quicksilver … the
Aerial Express!” If only their name didn’t sound like a postal office.
Aerial Express won with their tag team finisher. Scorpio Sky gets great height on
his drop kicks by the way. Angel asked Excitement one more time for his
decision. Excitement declined. Angel turned on him, beat him to the mat, talked
some trash, and then left. The crowd chanted, “You got punked!” Excitement
explained on the mic that even though his mom told him never to beat a girl, he
will now have to make an exception. The crowd that he was facing chanted,
“Shut the f*** up!” The other side answered with a “Watch your language” chant.

Now it was time for Super Dragon and Taro for the Jr. Heavyweight title.
Super D had a happy-go-lucky entrance theme and he ran out in a seemingly great
mood high-fiving everyone rather than flipping them off. Taro entered and
spotted Mini Taro in the audience. Mini Taro got to push the button. The match
began with a contest of sick chops. Then both stepped to the outside to
continue chopping each other. Then they went back in the ring and wrestled. This
match got the biggest pop. They were always countering and kicking out of each
other’s finishers. When Super D finally managed the Psycho Driver, Taro’s
body bounced to the outside and he was unable to capitalize. Later, Taro’s nose
was pouring blood after a loud thrashing into the chairs. Another memorable
spot was Super D trying to Psycho Driver Taro from the second rope, but in
mid-air Taro countered into a huracanrana. At one point, referee Steve
ludicrously jumped high up in the air to make the 3-count. He got a “You got air”
chant. Taro’s mask nearly came off several times during the match. The finish
was a frustrated Super D unleashing a fury of chops, punches, and kicks. Taro’s
comatose body couldn’t kick out, but the kid put up one hell of a fight.
Super D regained the Jr. Heavyweight strap.

A really hot lady carrying the new tag team belts accompanied the ring
announcer to the ring. She got one of the biggest pops. At first the ring
announcer thought it was for him. She showed the titles to the audience and it was
time to start the main event. Aerial Express came out to a different theme song
than the one they used in their first two matches. A couple of lost
grandfathers wandered inside doing a little dance. Oh, I’m sorry, it was Mexico’s
Most Wanted. Within MMW’s first few steps, Aerial Express double dived a nice
distance and took them out. They should change their name to Aerial Assault.
They cut through the air pretty clean. Surprisingly, this was a really short
match. Who knows? Maybe bed time was approaching really fast at the old
folks’ home and MMW had to rush back. The finish was Damien putting Scorpio Sky in
a giant swing and into a drop kick from Halloween. The locker room came out
to congratulate them. Damien turned his attention toward me and smiled to
gloat that he and Halloween were the new tag team champs. MMW smiled at me way
too much and did too many crotch-chops. What are they insinuating? That was
kind of making me nervous. My crew wanted to leave immediately so I missed any
speeches that were made. Anyway, this was probably the best Rev Pro show
I’ve been to.

Manila Ice
I’d rep 8 Mile, but my car broke down after 3

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